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#1
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Hi
This will be a somewhat long one so please sit back and read I have had bi polar with adhd and dyslexic since I ca remember. Just to write this well took several years of tutoring along with computer program. The sad part is I have a iq of 131 so I know what I am missing out on. Some of u seen my post but that not the half of it The drugs they had me left permit side effects. I dislike pills do to this so I went herbal …..Not oked in my state for depression or anxiety or bi polar (only dying chronic pain). I got myself in trouble I offered my vape pen to an undercover dea …….I was being nice in a manic high because it was my fav day of year ren fair ……where I feel normal and not out of place ……….now they are pushing me on a felony and 5 years in prison Ok a felony is horrible for me the last 2 years I have been learning everything I could about the herbal culture so I could go and work in a shop. With a felony charge on my record I can never apply or work in a shop under federal rules. That is thousands of hours lost and my last hope to having a job (it is best if I stay away from ppl and this is something I can do with what I have and keeps me happy since the amount of variables to account for are huge so I am thinking.) Then 5 years in prison not jail prison rapist and all that not the dumb ppl doing 18 months or less prison. I done some time for weed 4 months for having a 8th (this time I had less but I offered). They had me so doped up in there I had to be moved out of general into the trustee wing (I was not danger to myself or others they were to me) but this is prison for years so adapt or die is the law of nature. I do not want to adapt and become something I hate and not looking to die (unless no other choice next time they dope me like that I might as well be dead the side effects will effectively kill any life afterwards not to speak of felony charge) All because I was feeling on top of the world had a great day. Now the last time I felt that good was the day before my little brother killed himself. (Weed charges was facing a year could not handle it) He lied about it and it went to warrant. He came out of hospital after a panic attack 18 hours later found him dead in his bed. They still do not know the cause of death so it not ruled he killed himself so saved the family that stigma. Dad had the body burnt to put between his and my mom plot sights (she is in hers 12 years ago). I am stronger then he was. But this is some massive stuff on my plate and I needs some outside help on this one. So I come to u ppl to ask for ideas ……..has anyone else had this trouble in bi polar and has anyone found a good treatment that is legal does not require pill (ECT is last choice) Gotten a good lawyer ….he said jump I jump Back in treatment (this time the doctor is trying other things so who knows been few years since I tried them) Have ppl backing from family to friends ………they understand and not blaming me for it I have years of coping tricks and multi seasons with several doctors I can recall in my mind I am testable clean now .......i got some herbal CBDs from hemp but weak and the 500mg is 160 bucks for 2 oz (alot of money for very little if u take 4 pumps to use ) But I am freaking out I do not sleep well before this and now with this even worst. All the news I am getting from the lawyer is bad the dea agent is the witness. Meaning the DA has a very winnable case and it will look good on the record for the conviction. Right now the only saving grace I am hearing is since I did not give it to anyone (no one said I like one) it is an attempt that is misaminor crime. But my luck sucks at this stuff I think good and have good karma but I get boned more then I should. The pills do not start until tomorrow if the insurance oks them. But they are new so 4 to 6 weeks to build up and i got court feb 3. It is only going to get worst for me freaking out At this point I am only seeing one choice and that is full on commitment to something and applying for SSI to pay for it until I die of a natural death. It means nothing for how ever life wants to prolong this body. Any ideas thoughts something I am not seeing that I should before I make any life altering changes Last edited by shezbut; Dec 14, 2014 at 02:34 AM. Reason: Added a trigger icon; administrative edit |
![]() hamster-bamster, Pikku Myy, Wander
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#2
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I don't know anything about any of the legal aspects of your case, but just wanted to let you know I read this, and I am wishing for the best outcome for you.
__________________
BP II --200 mg lamictal---900mg lithium---.5 xanax |
#3
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I'm so sorry you're going through all this. I'm sorry I don't have any advice, but it sounds like you're taking all the right steps. Just try to stay positive and don't give up hope. You'll be in my thoughts. Stay strong and keep fighting!
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In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm. --Albert Camus |
#4
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I had a legal problem come up before when I was manic. I got a good lawyer and like you said I jumped when he told me to. I did community service and an offenders class before my court date to prove I was proactive and sorry. It worked. My case was dismissed. In February it will have been two years and in Texas I can have it removed from my record since I haven't been in anymore trouble. I know you understand what a relief that is. Hang in there.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha ![]() |
#5
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You got lucky. Your state has a mental health court .
Have your lawyer push to move to that court as this is due to a manic episode. Get yourself into a partial hospitalization program, like today. Request injection medication so you're sure to be compliant. If insurance says no take a Med like depakot or lithium be sure they do weekly blood tests. why do all this? So your lawyer has a ton of prof that your trying to get better. I want to write tons more so I'm going to get on the computer. I assume that they're getting you in attempt to destribute?
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog Last edited by Victoria'smom; Dec 10, 2014 at 11:47 AM. |
#6
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What drugs did they put you on?
I'm making lists hopefully it helps the dyslexia. I know it helps with mania. Please tell me if it doesn't help. There is drug court also. I don't know which one you would fit into. Print and bring this to your lawyer. You are still eligible for ss(d)i after a felony conviction. For sleep use melitonin you can use up to 10 mg. Do not ask or let them assume you are asking for benzo for sleep. Instead as for an anti psychotic drug to help sleep if you need one. Why do I say partial hospitalization and FDA drugs. Any day you are without a job is a day that you're trying to get better through partial hospitalization. Your making a long record of your struggle with bipolar. Be completely honest with your therapist and psychiatrist but know the court may ask for the records.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog Last edited by Victoria'smom; Dec 10, 2014 at 12:17 PM. |
#7
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Quote:
depakote and litium is 2 of the drugs that did the damage to me 2000 mg of depakote a day 3600 mg of lithum a day ............i took those from 12 to 18 lost most of my hair from it ......have permit rapid eye movement .....permit 35 lbs over weight never changes working diet other pill (even if i lower the total carb and everything to 1000 a day and work out for 5 hours ) month of that i only lost 5 lbs the seroguil from the high dosing in jail i got a twitches now as for programs and stuff i done the rehab 4 times and i do not have 1200 bucks to pay them this time......if i go and get myself hospitalized i will not come back i do not want too i have given up the hope that life will be nice congress just blocked DC legalized move so where i was going to try to work is gone(driving 90 miles i was willing to do) .........the closest place for me is CO 1600 miles away ........all my family and friends are here .......so i have lost no matter what at this point ( i even spent 250 bucks to get the courses u need to take to apply for the job in dc now that is wasted)......so i can work and have a life with no family/friends to keep me in check ........or i can have my family and friends to help keep in check with no life my older brother and his wife have already decided they are opening a bed and breakfast in a legal state and they want me to live there as the handman and treat maker / grounds keeper .........she made me promise i would come and live with them |
#8
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thanks for the mental court info i never knew about it
just looked it up and the office is in the city i have the case in so i posted to the lawyer asking about it in there atleast they would not look at me like i am some asshole just doing bad things ....just a dumb guy that did not know better so hopefully they will be nicer on punishment |
#9
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oh and something to make u laugh the universe has a sense humor
my real name is common so much so i gave myself a 2nd name for ppl to call me so i knew they ment me well i am on topamax..........better known name dopamax .........guess what the name everyone calls me ..........Max .........dope max hahahahahaha |
#10
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I hear nothing in your statements that you take responsibility or are regretful for your actions (the opposite--you are pleased that your friends and family don't blame you). Having a mental illness may be a reason for messing up, but it's not an excuse. Apologizing and taking responsibility comes with getting better.
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#11
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Pills are as fallows
Oxcarbazepine 150 mgs 2 times a day Trazodone 50 mgs 1 at night time before bed i hear him say topamax ......guess that is a option for next thing to try |
#12
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Quote:
isn't that what they treach u to do in school be nice and share what u have with others i done the drugs i done their treatments it hurt me and left me with side effects for rest of my life ......i found something that allows me to be as normal as possible in most all cases but because the the rope and paper ppl back in the 1920s they used a fear tatic to make it evil bible thumpers .......... 29Then God said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the surface of all the earth, and every tree which has fruit yielding seed; it shall be food for you; and that is in all the 3 major religions and their off shoots so i ask is it right to force someone on drugs that do not address the trouble just hide the symptoms with major side effects .......the cost of taking the pills is 3 to 4 times the cost for the plant |
#13
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just to show u how messed up it is
http://www.amazon.com/Cibdex-Bottle-.../dp/B00L1HBYA6 that is the CBDs that is in weed in this form i asked the lawyer guess what that is illegal in this state even tho they sell it tho amazon ....CBDs and a few other chemicals is what i am after it helps me the THC count does not matter all that much to me since i do not get that High effect do to the CBDs (CBDs counter the effect of THC ) as for the effectiveness of them it is not in dispute .........it is known for medical effects they are just starting to test them england has done more testing on the subject then us do to the fact pills and drug making is a huge money maker in the USA |
#15
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yep saids it is a mild side effects if any now just need to see if the body reacts to it and how it does
but again i do not hold much hope it will be like every other pill they gave me ok for a while stops working up dose works again then stops up it again and that is where the effects start to happen thanks for the mental court thing nice lady i sent it to the lawyer |
#16
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I'm so stupid I don't understand what you are being charged with.
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#17
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Quote:
because i offered it to ppl it is like selling it ........even tho i did not ask for money i was offering because it is like gum (chewing gum in a group of ppl isn't wrong not to offer some to them) i thought asking for money made it a crime on that lvl not just being nice and offering it (the ppl were over 21 and looked like stoners) .........i thought the undercover DEA agent was one of the ppl at ren fair with me drinking in the tavern so i offered it to him ........in the report it was his wife that called it in saying i was selling not him my only chance is to have it reduced to attempted distribution of a cds ....that is a lesser charge .....for the simple fact they all said no so i put it back in my pocket payed for my food and left O.Pen Vape (O.Pen Vape) Review | Medical Jane that is what i had ..........they are charging 33 grams the weight of the pen the cartiage and a empty one i had .........the actual weight of the stuff inside is 0.3 mls or 0.1 gram with only 250mgs of cannabinoids (not 250mgs of thc it has other chemicals in it like CBDs CBC good medical stuff) this state knows nothing about this it made the news because i am one of the first ppl to get busted for vape pen |
![]() Victoria'smom
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