[sidney1771]

I might be heading toward a pretty big meltdown soon. You know how we are suppose to identify triggers. Well, several have been happening over the last few months and more are expected to come. I'll try to avoid all the details, but the highlights are:

• Over last 4 months, pdoc removed 5 meds that weren't working - had fun weaning off clonzepam, trazadone, gabapentin, seroquel, vistaril
• Injured my knee in September while rehabbing a back injury. Just had surgery last week to repair my knee and clean up some arthritis crap.
• While getting my knee MRI done, the test revealed bone death in my long bones, so I've had heart tests and blood tests galore. Found out that I have borderline diastolic dysfunction, which could lead to heart failure
• My chronic headaches have gotten worse, but now my doctor thinks it is due to chronic sinuitis, so I'm having a CT scan done and being evaluated for surgery to alleviate the pressure in my face and behind my eyes.
• When I woke up from knee surgery, the anesthesiologist was literally in my face telling me over and over again that I needed to see so and so because my thyroid was enlarged and obstructing my airway. I have an appointment with that surgeon in two weeks.
• My regular doctor really wants me to quit smoking, which I had planned on at the end of the year.
• My brother and his family are visiting next week and while I love seeing my nieces, it is very stressful spending time with him. His wife is nice.
• I'll be spending Christmas day with my parents and that is fine. Just the three of us...dad is fixing a rib roast. Not sure what we are doing for the day, but we'll figure it out.

Anyway. Family and medical are my big triggers. My brother really doesn't understand my mental illness challenges, let alone that I have physical issues compounding things right now. It isn't that I want sympathy from him, or at least I don't think that is what I want. I guess I don't really know what I want from him. He pretty much is a putz. Besides, my mom just had an angioplasty done to see if she had a heart valve blockage (she didn't) and so I'm sure that we will all be talking about her experience and how she now has a new lease on life. Forget about how I was schlepping around 36 hours after surgery, going to the hospital with her and dad, not being able to take any pain medication because I needed to drive, all because she couldn't wait an extra week to schedule her appointment and figured that my knee surgery wasn't that big of a deal and I wouldn't mind. Gee, why would I mind. Taking a backseat to everyone is what I excel at.

So...I've been in a mania phase for a month or so. It might we waning a little bit, which would be fine with me. This is the first time in years where I've had my sexual appetite set to voracious. It is nice at first, but gets a little tiresome. I'm wondering if being in a lot of pain over the last few months has aided in that drive since the pain and pleasure sensors are the same.

If you know you are heading into a potential mess, what do you do to avoid it? I can't avoid seeing my family and I really do need to take care of my medical issues. Would love some thoughts. When you need to spend time with family, do you have anything fun or specific that you think of instead of them? Do you play games in your mind? I'm just trying to avoid crashing and burning.

[Wander]

Wow, you have really been through a lot. You must be very strong to still be functioning at all. Be proud of yourself. I don't have much advice except to try to make as much downtime to yourself as possible over the holiday period. Try to find activities that relax you and even bring you joy. I read and/or go swimming (I live near the beach), play guitar and take photos when I have some downtime. It really helps. Hang in there!

[Victoria'smom]

We play board games. So we can interact in a fun way while seeing each other. It takes the stress out from seeing them and the what are you doing with your life?

[Bipolartist]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

We play board games. So we can interact in a fun way while seeing each other. It takes the stress out from seeing them and the what are you doing with your life?

Oh my... Board games. As a kid I know I was bipolar because playing a game of Scrabble my dad was winning and it made me so mad I threw the whole board in the air, letters went flying. Hahaha. I can laugh about it now.

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

We play board games. So we can interact in a fun way while seeing each other. It takes the stress out from seeing them and the what are you doing with your life?

what are you doing with your life.

always the dreaded question...

yes board games especially things like monopoly can help

[tipper1492]

Hold on to your promise to stop smoking. Wish I had earlier. My brother, use to smoke 2 packs a day, now has COPD. It's a HORRIBLE way to go. He still smokes and for the life of me I can't understand. If you know little about COPD, check it out on-line. It just may make the difference.

[Homeira]

Originally Posted by sidney1771

I might be heading toward a pretty big meltdown soon. You know how we are suppose to identify triggers. Well, several have been happening over the last few months and more are expected to come. I'll try to avoid all the details, but the highlights are:

• Over last 4 months, pdoc removed 5 meds that weren't working - had fun weaning off clonzepam, trazadone, gabapentin, seroquel, vistaril
• Injured my knee in September while rehabbing a back injury. Just had surgery last week to repair my knee and clean up some arthritis crap.
• While getting my knee MRI done, the test revealed bone death in my long bones, so I've had heart tests and blood tests galore. Found out that I have borderline diastolic dysfunction, which could lead to heart failure
• My chronic headaches have gotten worse, but now my doctor thinks it is due to chronic sinuitis, so I'm having a CT scan done and being evaluated for surgery to alleviate the pressure in my face and behind my eyes.
• When I woke up from knee surgery, the anesthesiologist was literally in my face telling me over and over again that I needed to see so and so because my thyroid was enlarged and obstructing my airway. I have an appointment with that surgeon in two weeks.
• My regular doctor really wants me to quit smoking, which I had planned on at the end of the year.
• My brother and his family are visiting next week and while I love seeing my nieces, it is very stressful spending time with him. His wife is nice.
• I'll be spending Christmas day with my parents and that is fine. Just the three of us...dad is fixing a rib roast. Not sure what we are doing for the day, but we'll figure it out.

Anyway. Family and medical are my big triggers. My brother really doesn't understand my mental illness challenges, let alone that I have physical issues compounding things right now. It isn't that I want sympathy from him, or at least I don't think that is what I want. I guess I don't really know what I want from him. He pretty much is a putz. Besides, my mom just had an angioplasty done to see if she had a heart valve blockage (she didn't) and so I'm sure that we will all be talking about her experience and how she now has a new lease on life. Forget about how I was schlepping around 36 hours after surgery, going to the hospital with her and dad, not being able to take any pain medication because I needed to drive, all because she couldn't wait an extra week to schedule her appointment and figured that my knee surgery wasn't that big of a deal and I wouldn't mind. Gee, why would I mind. Taking a backseat to everyone is what I excel at.

So...I've been in a mania phase for a month or so. It might we waning a little bit, which would be fine with me. This is the first time in years where I've had my sexual appetite set to voracious. It is nice at first, but gets a little tiresome. I'm wondering if being in a lot of pain over the last few months has aided in that drive since the pain and pleasure sensors are the same.

If you know you are heading into a potential mess, what do you do to avoid it? I can't avoid seeing my family and I really do need to take care of my medical issues. Would love some thoughts. When you need to spend time with family, do you have anything fun or specific that you think of instead of them? Do you play games in your mind? I'm just trying to avoid crashing and burning.

Your brother sound like a toxic person in your life. Sometimes family is the worst. I have a family-member who is highly toxic, but I have to be around her at times. I know how that feels! I avoid her as much as possible, but that would mean I would have to stay away from family-functions. As for what we do for the holidays? Visit with family and friends,eat, party and play boardgames. I dread christmas this year. Even though I know that a lot of these activities are happy. joyful events. I seek refuge in books and knitting, have a big family and it can get to be too mush some times.

[wing]

I've had multiple physical and emotional stressors lately and finally snapped. Flushed my med hoard, gave my husband the car keys. Dreading the drama my mother brings with her every holiday, like she is the only one with any problems. I avoid toxic people like the plague. Do my duty, then get out of the call, text, room, house.

I've just given up on these people. They don't get it, that my bipolar is something I live with, and I don't load on any guilt about it on them not being there for me cause they don't give a rat's ***. Seems like everything for them is a crisis, and because my issues are chronic, I'm supposed to just get over it. But you're right, who gets the call when their crisis comes up.

I enjoy the holiday for a day in spite of all this crap. I've always enjoyed staring at the tree and ornaments, listening to the music, etc. I try every year to focus on that stuff, being alone though in the middle of the stress and escape outside when I can't take the drama. It's a good excuse to get away.

I think many of us are in the same boat, re: BP and physical issues so these things are what brings us together. Feels good to vent and know we're not alone.

Hang in there. I'm planning to get on my phone and play games.

[sidney1771]

As a family, we use to play card games. That has gone away a little bit over the years. My mom sucked, my sister pouted and my dad gloated too much. Maybe this year since my nieces are getting a little older we can resurrect some of the old games. I like that idea. I held on to the old Uno game and I think Yahtzee is around. I need to rustle up some toys for the girls to play with while they are visiting my folks anyway...I'll just throw some family games in the box also. My parents don't have anything fun to play with at their house. Leave to the fun aunt to bring over really cool toys. Do I get credit for it...nope. Kids are entertained for the week, but no one thanks the thoughtful aunt. Hex bugs were a hit this last visit.