[jacky8807]

I have a 14 and 8 year old. I was hospitalized a couple times this year and my children think it was for "pneumonia"
However my father thinks i should tell my 14 yr old who happens to be aware there is a family history of the disorder.
My mother disagrees and thinks it will put too much stress on my son.
I know he senses something is wrong but i am afraid of him feeling shamed or stigmatized.
Im not sure if a 14 year old can properly process it
Then again i with i knew WTH was going on with me as a teen!
When i am stable i also struggle with the concept of having bipolar which makes it that more difficult

[BipolaRNurse]

Your children are both old enough to know about your having bipolar disorder. Chances are they already know something is amiss, why keep pretending? It might be best if you explain it to them separately in an age-appropriate way; you'll want to make the explanation a little more simple for the 8 year old than you would for the 14 year old.

But they deserve to know.....I can tell you from experience that one of the worst things one can do to their kids is treat them like mushrooms (keeping them in the dark and feeding them bull$#!+). They'll figure it out on their own one day, and then they'll demand to know why they weren't told.

My kids are all grown, and I wasn't diagnosed until after they were all on their own. However, my grandsons (ages 9 and 7) needed to know, and when I went to the hospital on Halloween my daughter told them what was wrong with Grandma. I always take them trick-or-treating, and they needed to know why I couldn't this year. Those boys don't treat me any differently than they did before, except my older grandson likes to trade hospital stories with me now (he broke his arm last year and had to have surgery). I have a feeling your kids will feel better knowing the truth.

[wiretwister]

was taken care of for me,, the whole family had to be present before they would release me from inpatient...they were told everything..

I believe in telling the kids about it as soon as possible. Mine asked me if I hated him, that broke my heart. I realized that I was being mean to him through my illness. Kids will get it.

I always tell him,"I mean what I say, not the way I said it, sorry for that".

Kids don't understand when you keep it from them. Pay them the respect with the truth.

I hope that helps

[jacky8807]

Thx guys! Yeah thy definitely know something is wrong and i think you guys are right i owe then the truth. I want to do it in a way that shows them this disorder is nothing to be ashamed about and its no ones fault!

Originally Posted by jacky8807

Thx guys! Yeah thy definitely know something is wrong and i think you guys are right i owe then the truth. I want to do it in a way that shows them this disorder is nothing to be ashamed about and its no ones fault!

Great! It's the best thing I've ever done. I now have the best relationship ever with my son.

[Trippin2.0]

I told my daughter when she was 6 years old, she'll be 11 next Monday.


Telling her was a good decision, because she is no longer worried or confused by my behaviour.


Normalizing it and encouraging her to ask questions has eradicated any fear or uncertainties she may have had before.


Hopefully being honest with our kids, will mean that they grow up to be part of a stigma free generation. Hopefully our openness will allow them to live stigma free, whether they develop it themselves or meet people who are afflicted. Hopefully our honesty means that future bipolars won't be as lonely as many of us are today.


One can hope

[Victoria'smom]

At 4 my son new we took meds for head boo boo's. around 6-8 he asked for the real name. He got upset we kept saying Boo Boo he was "old then that." between 8-10ish he asked random questions at random times including will I get it. Then he did a google search. I hate google at times. Then my husband's T suggested to do a diagram for him to understand better:

1. get a turn it landscape frame
2. fold it in half
3. fold it in half again
4. unfold it
5. on the middle line draw a straight solid line
6. the line above and below do a dotted line
7. label the top dotted line happy and the bottom sad
8. Draw a wave length between happy and sad
9. Draw a jagged line above to below the dotted line
10 the jagged line is BP the wave length is normal

[BlackSheep79]

I'm choosing to not have children, but if I did I would tell them. I feel they should know because they have a chance of getting the illness as well so they need to understand what to look for, what to do, etc. And like Trippin2.0 said hopefully they can be part of a stigma free generation.

[Love&Toil]

I have always been open with my children about the fact that I take brain medicine. When they want to hear about it, I tell them age appropriate stuff, like the fact that I have too many sad, angry and scared chemicals in my brain and my medicine helps with that. My kids are mildly interested, not really that interested. But dd1 told me she doesn't consider me to be a person with a disability. I guess that's because I am high functioning. There are times when my feelings are intense (anger, irritability) and I tell them it's not their fault.

It's good to hear how others have worked through this.

[jesusplay]

the less that no, the better.

[Raindropvampire]

My mother is bipolar and unmedicated. I can't tell you what knowing that would have meant to me as a child. Instead I thought everything that happened with her was my fault. Also because she never got help or admitted anything I didn't find out that I was bipolar until I was in my 20's- early 30's. All I knew was that I was just like my granny and my mom. Finding out was such an eyeopener and I was so angry that I could have gotten help when I was a teen but I literally thought that's just how all the women in our family are.

I don't have kids because I won't take a chance of being like my mom. However; the brunt of raising my brother did fall on me. Granted I didn't know that I was bipolar but I still talked with him when he was 7-8 and told him there was something wrong with me. I didn't know what but that when sissy got sad or mad or anything it had nothing to do with him and to ignore me.

He's 28 now and we've talked about it several times and he's told me that it meant a lot that I shared with him. That whenever I had a mood swing he thought he had done something to cause it and me explaining that it was not his fault; that it was just something wrong with me, helped him a ton.

[Crazy Hitch]

No.

My son is 14 and my daughter is 11.

I haven't personally told them.

BUT.

I believe during one of my episodes my husband explained it to my son in laymans terms.

[loophole]

to each their own. I don't beleve there is one way.one answer for every unique circumstance

Sent from my iPhone 6 plus using Tapatalk

[4ALittle]

I've told my children. But they weren't all that interested.

[sidney1771]

I try to be as open as I can with my nieces, but my brother and sister-in-law don't like it. One niece sees a therapist, she is 9 and so she knows that I see one and I try to talk about how helpful mine is. While not getting into specifics, I do keep the subject open and comfortable. Both of us take ADHD medications and she goes off of hers for the summer...I'm the only one who's had the experience of going on and off meds like that, so I can understand her a little better. I just want these girls to not be afraid to ask questions if they ever feel the need to is all. I think all parents should give their kids that opportunity.

[bluemountains]

One of my sons has Autism, the type that used to be called Asperger's. Many of his symptoms are similar to those that I experience with bipolar. All is out in the open in our family. My husband and four teenagers all understand what is going on. It is necessary because of the severe mood swings that I experience, and the anger issues that my son deals with.
Bluemountains

[Homeira]

I told my son a couple of years ago. He knew something was wrong anyway, and I decided it was better he got an explanation.