[crazycatlady_83]

So, this is going to be long and I thank everyone who reads it all the way through. I am going to a university and just finished the semester a week before Christmas. I am a microbiology major and one of my biggest classes and finals I was worried about was organic chemistry. I have such a hard time with that class and really needed to do well on the final in order t pass the class. The day before I had planned on commuting the hour to my school and studying all day, going to see the instructor if I needed. The problem? My sister-in-law was scheduled to be induced that morning and my mother-in-law is who watches my boys. My husband works for her and was covering for our brother-in-law who was going to be at the hospital with his wife. So my mil basically said she was going to be at the hospital all day and I would just have to study while my boys were in school. That's 10:30am-2pm....not nearly enough time and I wouldn't be able to go to school. And my sil never even went to the hospital because they didn't have any open beds. So the next day is coming up, and again I don't have anyone to watch my boys and I need to leave at 6am to do some last minute studying and my husband has to leave for work. So instead of studying, I was making other arrangements for daycare. As a result, I failed miserably on the final and didn't pass the class.

This has caused a tremendous amount of stress on me, which is a big trigger for me. As a result, I have been manic since the 17th. I have been so mad at all of my in-laws for not being more helpful in a time when I really needed them. I barely got through Christmas with them. I ended up taking 4 1/2 Ativan between 8am-6pm to be around them. It just seems like all they cared about was the baby. Yes, I know it's an important occasion. But they always make a big deal about how I'm their child too, and they just desert me when I need them the most. Does this make sense to anyone, or am I just overthinking it?

And to make it worse, my doctor is on vacation until next week, which is when I'll be on vacation with all of my in-laws. I'm feeling better, but I feel like I really needed to see him or be prescribed something to get through this rough time. At first he suggested an antipsychotic, but then changed his mind to Lunesta, which he never even called in. I have been forcing myself to go to sleep at 10:30-11pm and wake up every morning about 3am. Then I lay in bed until 7am and doze off and on.

I'm not sure if I need advice or suggestions, but I think I needed to vent more. It's my husband's family so he can only take so much of me talking about it, and I feel like it's a huge thing that has taken over my thoughts.

[Moogieotter]

Hang in there! Family time can be rough. We've got your back!

[Tucson]

Hang in there!

[Imah]

I think you don't see how much they do for you. I am terribly sorry that you failed your test, perhaps you could look beyond family for future aid in. Had you been paying attention to what was going on with the expectant mother, maybe you could have prepared a week earlier to have someone outside of family to count on. A business arrangement with a professional day care. As a mother, and a child, I can clearly recognize there are times I have expected my family to be there for me when actually, I was leaning on them to much. If you go to the family vacation resenting them for not being there when you needed them, instead of seeing that they have been there for you 90% of the time, you may cause a rift. Try to grab a hold on the idea that this was a learning experience that taught you how much you expect people to be there for you. Give them a break and realize your resentment toward them is actually your own fault.

[Nicholas F]

Originally Posted by crazycatlady_83

Yes, I know it's an important occasion. But they always make a big deal about how I'm their child too, and they just desert me when I need them the most. Does this make sense to anyone, or am I just overthinking it?

Yes you are over thinking it, you're channeling your stress in the wrong direction. Its completely understandable, my Mother was attending college when myself, my brother and my sister where in need of a babysitter. She had to stop attending to watch us. She only blamed herself, because she realized she chose to have children without thinking about the responsibilities that follow. All three of us are adults now, and she has all the free time to do so.

Unless your in-laws were the reason you have children, I see no reason to hold a grudge against them. Mother In-law gave birth to the man you love today, raised him, and taught him the basics of life. That's the mothers job, and she did her job already.

If the goal for mothers is to have children, raise the children for approximately 18 years, just for those children to go out and have children of their own, for that mother to have to spend more years raising children.

Your a mother trying to raise children, and also do schooling at the same time. That alone is a major struggle. Now imagine 20 years from now, your children will have children of their own. Your children want to attend college, so they expect you to do the babysitting, as if you haven't had enough struggles to get them to were they are now. Now your expected to babysit more.

Doesn't seem like a fair deal to me. At what point is a mother allowed to continue her own life? Or do mothers end their life the moment they gave birth?

The Motherhood Rulebook says: Mothers are to raise and care for their children until they are old enough to take on life for themselves. That's all that title is required to do. This situation that you are having now is one good reason why women say mother hood is not easy. Its sucks possibly having to throw away your goals in life because of a decision you made prior.

[Confusedinomicon]

Is there a way you can retake the class and get the grade replaced? Honestly, even my smartest friends in uni retook organic chem 1 & 2 and they passed the class the second time with flying colors. Don't be hard on yourself because it didn't work out the first time.

[BlackSheep79]

I am so sorry if I come across as being rude, but why is it that people have children and expect the grandparents to take care of their kids? I'm in my 30's no children and I see this all the time and it bothers me so much. If you want to have children put your children in daycare, don't put that burden on the grandparents. They have worked very hard so they can enjoy the rest of their life doing what they want to do, like see the birth of one of their grandchildren.

Read your post over again. “It just seems like all they cared about was the baby. Yes, I know it's an important occasion. But they always make a big deal about how I'm their child too, and they just desert me when I need them the most.” I read that statement and take it that you feel that your class is more important than the birth of a child in the family. Would you like to have the rolls reversed if it was your child being born? I bet not. It’s just a class, retake it.