Childhood Guilt, Adult Depression? - The Atlantic

I found this very interesting. I know this is true for me, we are talking a lot about guilt in therapy, still not dealing with it well yet.

Was anyone else an excessively guilty child?

[Polibeth]

Thanks for sharing the article. I was an excessively guilt-ridden child, mostly induced by my parents shaming techniques.

[applesapples]

This is very interesting. I felt a lot of guilt as a child and still feel this all the time. Parents always shamed and I can't seem to "grow out of it."

Yes, I can see how shaming techniques can lead to guilt, as can religion in some cases.

I am interested to see how many others can relate to this.

[wiretwister]

i never saw it but my t has said this is core of my issues

[Turtlesoup]

Thanks for this thread-I still struggle with feeling guilt-ridden about things I can't possibly control going back to childhood.

[Justugh]

guilt for what as a child all action fall under a learning curve rule ......no one is born knowing what to do and what rules are ......u are only as good as the ppl around u that is where u learn to mimic/copy most actions from

the job as a kid was to learn live and get older to make your own monsters and rug rats your actions as a kid should not be guilt over (i was a horrible horrible horrible child )
but i have no guilt about it with out those action and results i would be a different person ....i might be a crazy person but i seem to make alot of ppl happy

[tipper1492]

Now that you shared this, I think I carried guilt too.

[furiousfever]

Interesting. As a child, I felt so guilty and ashamed of everything. Sometimes still do...

I still feel excessively guilty for things that are out of my control. And for being bipolar as well. I feel crippling guilt each time I have a crisis or episode.

[pepper2009]

As a child and teen I felt a constant, inexplicable guilt. It was very overwhelming. I wish I could remember more about the how's and why's. I used to write about it constantly. I don't feel that type of guilt as an adult. Any guilt I have now definitely has a reason.

My parents were excessively shaming, too. When i got into a minor fender-bender my dad said it was because of my poor character -- not the accident that it was. I saw a similar portrayal of the situation on TV and the father said he was just glad no one was hurt. That's what a healthy parent says to a child who has made a mistake -- not that it's because they are such a mediocre person.

[HopeForChange]

I can definitely relate to this. When I first saw my psychiatrist, the first thing she asked was if I felt guilty about something--must have been something in my expression or demeanor that gave it away. Even now, after years of therapy, I have this nagging feeling of guilt running in the back of my mind that I constantly have to challenge. I also feel guilty if others are worried about me, which tends to lead to me isolating and not telling anyone whenever my bipolar/psychosis is bad.

How do you handle guilt as an adult?

I am still not handling it well it seems.

I was raised Catholic. That and my non-supportive family screwed me up nicely.

Originally Posted by Supanova

I still feel excessively guilty for things that are out of my control. And for being bipolar as well. I feel crippling guilt each time I have a crisis or episode.

I can SO relate to this.
What also comes to mind (though it got lost several times -- mind's whirling today) is how badly it shows itself when I'm mixed or agitated. Utterly vicious berating self-talk. Responsible for and guilty for everything, mostly for being an absolute f'up, and many things of which I have no control.
And yes, raised that way. Good example… grade school, sister was bullied. When she told of this, was asked what she'd done to cause it(!) The blame was ALWAYS ours.

Originally Posted by Supanova

How do you handle guilt as an adult? I am still not handling it well it seems.

I've got it nowhere near under control, but one thing that can help is questioning and even just recognizing those. Stepping back in quiet moments and trying to look at it from the outside. Cool detached observation. What someone would say if THEY heard it. How irrational it is. Then letting it go. Even if it is just for that moment.

Originally Posted by Innerzone

I've got it nowhere near under control, but one thing that can help is questioning and even just recognizing those. Stepping back in quiet moments and trying to look at it from the outside. Cool detached observation. What someone would say if THEY heard it. How irrational it is. Then letting it go. Even if it is just for that moment.

Thanks for this. It is what I do, lots of observation and watching thoughts from a distance, still an ongoing practice. Journaling helps some when it just gets overwhelming, I can then literally see the thoughts and either see that they are irrational or use the journal to CBT them. I'd hoped there was some quick trick, but thats never the way!