Not doing great

Hello

If any of you have somehow managed to follow my posts, you know, I have been trying really hard to control my moods. Really on top of life style stuff. But I let myself get too busy and then some stressful situations arose, and it pushed me over the edge. I've been racing, irritable, aggressive, and just feeling terrible. Now I am sad and stressed, having self destructive thoughts, and feel as though I've fallen apart. I had a terrible morning with my wife and daughter and feel that I expose them to such awful stuff emotionally, I feel so sorry for my poor little daughter who cannot possibly understand why I get into these funks. Last night we were having so much fun, making little dance videos and stuff, and this morning I am a mess, and irritable and mean.

I was really doing good for a while, but the confluence of stressful situations, too much work, and over scheduling knocked me out of the saddle. I think I am ready to pick myself up, stay on the straight and narrow, and keep up with the management I have been doing, but it is so disappointing to have one of these episodes.

What do you guys do when this happens? All sharing is appreciated!
MT

Hi MT,

Sorry you are struggling. At least you are smart enough and stable enough to at least reach out for advice and support here at good ole PC - Bipolar Land.

If it were my fish to fry, I would go straight in to see my pdoc, like today, Page him if I had to. I'd get this thing nipped in the bud with a med change and a T visit. Burn a sick day and get in a hike and some serious relaxation.

I'd keep solid focus on the lifestyle stuff and make damn certain I do not self-medicate AT ALL, go to a 12 step meeting if I get urges.

Hope this helps,

moogs

I don't know what to do anymore in these situations. They keep happening over and over again and I see my pdoc for them, and I go to therapy, and I wish I had an answer for you.

I have been so mean to my kids lately- I yell all the time- and sometimes I just shut myself up in my room to avoid anymore damage.

hope you get to feeling better soon

hugs

Honestly ? Bipolar cycles, It does, It's just the way it is..Bipolar Blows

The only thing you can really do is just stay on top of self care and coping skills ( all of them).. Sometimes you will be fine on a Monday nite and wake up on a Tuesday mad at the world. That's just how Bipolar likes to play, dirty...

You can't beat yourself to pieces every time it happens, because it is going to happen at times no matter how hard you try to manage it , instead, focus your energy on keeping your coping skills in good working order and making sure your using them effectively.

Meanwhile hop off the guilt train and just keep on keeping on.

Thanks guys. Still feeling Shakey, but not so acutely black-manic. Need to rest. But so good to be on here with y'all!

Hi Manic Trance

Thinking of you and hope this phase passes swiftly.

Take care.

Listen to some relaxation apps on your phone. Might help a bit.

I really just get myself back on track with my regular routine, talk to my therapist and doctor and then hope for a quick return to normalcy.

I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks H!
Fits and starts. Not so acutely out of it, but still really agitated, and at times severely upset, like, suddenly. Suicidal thoughts are back. Ugh... But it's in and out, then there are stretches where I'm ok, mixed episode? Dunno...
But thanks for your thoughts!

S

I can relate and I'm scared I'll push my husband away, not meaning to. I lately go from extreme anger to extreme crying to being okay. It cycles. I try to apply coping skills (DBT skills) but I keep failing at it. My emotions change so suddenly and without warning. I can't seem to manage them at all. I feel hypersensitive on top of it all.

As much as I love working, it's important to make "ME" time and its okay to demand it. You seem to have identified the current issues that are bothering you.

I work in social-work and take myself on vacation every 2-3 months. >> It's important to give yourself time to recharge your batteries and if you're introverted to spend some time doing something by yourself. Christina is right about self-care and coping skills. She's also very very very right about forgiving yourself for experiencing cycles (out of your control!) and focusing on what you CAN do at the moment. If that means you need a lazy day + time away from wife/daughter then maybe help your wife make a mom/daughter date. Maybe your wife needs it too, and you guys could alternate daughter dates or even go on a date with your wife. (Like SO & I make an effort to go out once a month on a date even though we've been together for nearly 8 years) If you have family around or trusted friends you could ship your daughter off for the night.

These are just suggestions...but the important part is to give yourself time to do activities that help recharge your batteries. It doesn't mean you need to be on the gogogogogogogo all the time. It means you know when you need to stop.