Was it Mania?

Hey all,

I have a really hard time figuring out whether or not I'm experience Hypomania as it falls under Bipolar II.

There must have been an episode of it in my life for sure or I wouldn't have been diagnosed.

Thing is...I have no idea when I'm manic...besides really great moods. And I don't see why it's such a problem because it feels wonderful.

Anyway...years ago I was in about a 7 month long state of happiness. I'd just broken up with a crazy ex and was living free of drama. Thing is...I also had thoughts of suicide. How could I be happy but have thoughts of suicide?
My therapist at the time said "that doesn't sound very happy" when I told her that. Anyway...not long after I attempted which was a complete shock to people seeing as how happy I seemed. Winded up in a mental hospital and that's how I got diagnosed.

Another time probably happened over summer. I was beginning a new relationship. Most start off good because you wouldn't get in one if it did not. Thing is...shortly after we began dating, I lost my job. I decided to stay at my house to-not going to lie- have sex with her (lol). Got fired for missing work and not calling in. I also spent quite a bit of money as well. I was living in a new area though so it's hard to see if I was just trying to enjoy it while I was there.

I'm not sure if these times were mania. I just can't seem to recognize it or really understand why it's a problem. I feel like it's awesome because I usually get a lot done. Task after task. Constantly working on things, etc.

Why is it a problem and how can I recognize it?

Sounds like hypomania

Hi

Mania and hypomania are 2 different animals love. Hypomania is when I'm feeling good and nothing can get me down. Everything is going to be a o k. I hate to call it a happy buzz, but your having really great moods.

Mania has delusional overtones, such as grandiosity. Compulsive reckless spending. Hallucinations. Hyperactivity. Paranoid delusions. Hyper sexuality. It's not as fun as it sounds. It's all dangerous out of control behavior. I'd rather be hypo.

A mixed state is when one has some symptoms of mania mixed with some symptoms of depression. One is irritable. Angry. Agitated. Chaotic happy. It's not a good state to be in, matter of fact it's quite dangerous. A depressed person would just wish that they were dead. In a mixed state, that person would have the energy to actually do something about it, unfortunately.

Sounds like you touched some manic behavior there at the end, but imagining doing it blindly without restraint. I blew $5k dollar last year on online gaming- ooops. And couldn't tell that I was. I couldn't stop. I use to have sex with everyone, cheated once, and I see things. Manic behavior is more a curse that I can't get rid of. The only hope is the pills that I get to take.

It seems that I only can tell if I'm manic is in hindsight when my meds are tweaked right. I live in the delusion that nothing's wrong. I look at the decisions I made that I'd never make in a million years. Those are the tell tale signs to me.

I say Hypo, it's not uncommon for a negative intrusive thought to pop up in any mood. Intrusive thoughts are common in Bipolar.

If your not able to notice a mood shift then I would advise you to chart your moods daily, it can help point out a pattern "before" you can actually see it . This can be done on your phone , many apps are free or you can just use pen and paper. Might be of help for you.

Takes me 2 mins to chart nightly. Simple

Good Luck

You do it just once a night? Not multiple times a day?

Do you become depressed after your highs? I usually do which is why I can't allow myself to enjoy it. I always liked my highs and never believed there was a reason to worry. Unfortunately my highs turn manic. For me, once the mania ends I plummet into depression. I tend to have mixed episodes so I am diligent of my moods. Although I like being happy and having energy, it is risky because those pesky thoughts of suicide pop up and sometimes it sounds like a very good idea. It sounds like you experienced that yourself.

I guess it all comes down to consequences. How much do your highs 'cost' you and does that bother you? As far as recognizing it, I suppose charting your emotions could help.

Thanks everyone. I can try charting moods.
I have the hang of depression, but knowing mania or even a mood that's not symptomatic is challenging. Also something to talk to my therapist about too I'm sure.


I'm not sure if I do become depressed or not. I'm depressed the majority of the time, but I would say that sometimes it can hit out of nowhere.

Mixed episodes are pretty common for me too. Yeah, I can feel happy but also want to die too. I actually wrote a suicide note at one point with no intentions of actually going through with it.

I guess if I am manic, I would be more productive...or at least when I am in a food mood. I can snap sometimes though...especially if someone is being negative or pushing my buttons.

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Numerous??? Oh no way , my goodness.

Once a day is plenty, I wake up every single morning in agony due to chronic pain if I include that , well then all my days are going to be judged worse than what they really are overall.

My Pdoc says look over your day and chart what fits the "overall" day.

I chart on the following

hours of sleep

*the following I base on a scale of 1 to 10 .

level of pain
any triggers
up
down
baseline
anger
irritation
Self care
Ability to do what needs to be done daily.

I do place my hand over the previous days charting so that it doesn't effect my true thoughts of the present day.

Anyway that is what I have been doing for over 4 years. I can see patterns before I actually notice and take action before something has a chance to really knock me off the rails.

I had an experience last night that might have been mania. Is it possible for alcohol to trigger mania? I was out a club and had a very interesting night lol. It's common for a night to go like this: I intend to drink but not a lot and just drink more and more and more until I wind up so drunk I start to stumble and sway. I'm happy the whole time though. Last night, I wound up dancing with a guy (by the way I'm a gay woman), asking a girl who goes to my college if she had a girlfriend (she does), and trying to connect to my ex through her best friend (I ran into him at the club and we spoke in person). I wouldn't say these experiences were bad, but I felt at the top of the world like nothing could go wrong at all. Today, however, I'm grossed about by the fact I danced closely with a guy, feeling that it will be awkward when I see the girl I spoke to,
and feeling anxious about whether or not my ex's best friend will really talk to her today as he said (it was actually a really pleasant conversation with him). Today, I am hungover and very off/depressed perhaps. What do you all think/make of this?


That's great. I'll try that out!

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Sounds like just intoxication to me lol
I always get depressed after drinking too much
Mania isnt really a one night thing but drinking while hypomanic will certainly make u feel even higher

I sure can drink when I'm hypo.

Hypo mania is when I am happy - make plans and execute them. I think orderly thoughts that construct a plan for my life that I follow through on....then it gets manic. My plans become a bit over-the-top and I speed up fitting the whole undertaking into long days and long nights (little sleep) whether I am ripping out the kitchen cabinets, landscaping the back yard or starting a home cottage industry. Sometime before I finish I start falling - mostly I finish what I start, but find myself sick, exhausted, anxiety ridden, and feeling like a worthless waste of space because I am depressed and non-functional.