Ranting away...

Let me rephrase that, so sick of being diagnosed bipolar...

The mood changes, please! Give me a break! My entire world is pendent on a little white pill that works but then don't. It was working a few days ago, but seems to be fading off. Being treated has sure turned into one pain in the butt. Off meds, I never cared of stability or to be mood wary. I was just who I was, take it or leave it. Now trying to stay on top of it seems like way more work then popping a few pills and forgetting about it.

I can't help but feel things got worse taking meds. Now it's unnatural. It's better in some areas and worse then others. My manic side was just a happy natural time, now with the AD, it's worse IMHO. More out of control intense where before it was just a happy joyous occasion.

Worst part of all this is now that I'm focused in on the illness, I'll never be blissfully ignorant ever again! Yeah, there's no turning back, or is there! Will enough time afforded turn back the knowledge? I've got an awesome forgetter, it works well.

Im so tempted. My like has been junk to begin with, and nothing has changed. Being on meds haven't done much in making my existence better I don't think, because I'm never stabile and always changing.

Blah blah, just how I feel ATM.

[Atypical_Disaster]

I don't really have any advice, but I can deeply relate to what you wrote.

[Skywalking]

It would be so much easier if mental illness was like a broken leg, something that everybody can point to and go, "Yup, you need a cast and pain medication. Boy, that leg sure is broken!" You know what's wrong beyond a doubt and how to fix it. And then you get a cast, some pills. Six weeks later and boom, you're done. If only, right?

I'm sorry you're having a tough time and that your meds seem to have stopped working. I know you mentioned in other threads you just spent a really hard year that got better when you had your medication adjusted, so it must be very frustrating to have a problem with them right after they started helping. Do you plan to talk to your doctor about it and try something different?

Lots of hugs for you.

Ugh. I'm increasing my dosage to night. Might as well go full blast then trying to keep just enough.

[Gray Rider]

maybe try to stop thinking about it for a while? I know its tricky

It's lamictal. I've been on it so long I got all kinds of dosage amounts. I'm going to increase it another 50 mg, the normal step. Going back yo 400 mg. 300 was just at the bottom, I know.

[Nammu]

Never blissfully ignorant again...yeah, I miss that too.

Maybe you can talk to your Pdoc about the ADs, they did make me worse I just have a mood stabilizer and AP now. Maybe he can look into something different?

[wildflowerchild25]

I understand the feeling of medication not working. I was on nearly everything. The one led that worked I stupidly stopped taking and when I took it again it didn't work. I ended up having ECT. And as extreme as that sounds, it was the only way for me to go. I've been stable for nearly two months now.

My point is not that you need ECT, just that there is a solution out there. You just haven't found it. For me it was ECT, for you it might be a different med combo or maybe CBT or DBT or something like that. But you'll find it.

No, you can't ever forget about bipolar now that you know. But you can live with it. That's what I am learning to do.

Hugs!

Hi, Susie here. We're okay, maybe frazzled on the edges. The stress and pressure of living in a house divided is weighing in pretty strong. We're falling apart at the seams, literally. Thank God there are no firearms in this house. If I can walk away to never return...

[JumpingJacks]

I know what you mean about being blissfully ignorant. I just ran around like a normal person but doing crazy things. The good thing about knowing is that now I can do some damage control. It's much better than before. But I understand totally about the medication not working and having to switch and it reminds you that your balance in this world is dependent on something/ someone else. It's tough. I feel it too and I hate it. I feel you, I really do.

I thought the same till today……..now i just want to be diagnosed bipolar...

Originally Posted by ChaoticInsanity

I thought the same till today……..now i just want to be diagnosed bipolar...

Awww babe, I'm sorry! xoxoxo

[BipolaRNurse]

I know a bit about how you feel. There's no unringing the bell.....once you know, you can't go back to a state of blissful ignorance. FWIW, I'm sick of it too!

[StillLeftBehind]

I posted a similar post a month or so ago. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I even thought that I was cured. I understand that being cured is not going to happen but I still feel non-bipolar. I hate taking meds so much so that I "miss" a day or two. Then I come back to them because I understand that because of them I feel great. That's not a bad thing but I am TIRED of the whole thing. I have had enough living by the pill. I want it to stop and all go away. This BP has ruined ALL of my relationships. It's messing with my job.........whew. Oopsy, got a little carried away but it's good to vent sometimes.

[ozzy1313]

I totally get about turning back the clock. I seem like I am way worse now then before I was dx. Sometimes I wonder if I imagine/make myself worse to live up to the title. My meds aren't changing anything and I just wish I had never gone to a pdoc 1.5 years ago.

There no turning back, I've always been that way. Just frustrated in the meds. I upped a dose last night. Hopefully it'll start working soon enough. Thanks yall.

[tlaira]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I understand the feeling of medication not working. I was on nearly everything. The one led that worked I stupidly stopped taking and when I took it again it didn't work. I ended up having ECT. And as extreme as that sounds, it was the only way for me to go. I've been stable for nearly two months now. .....

I am at the point of trying to get approval for ECT - told my psychiatrist I was done with meds and do not want anymore hospital stays. It is good to hear that it worked for you. Gives me hope.

I'm on the edge of glory, and I'm hanging on the moment of glory, I'm on the edge with you , the edge, the edge the edge the edge with you

[ozzy1313]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I'm on the edge of glory, and I'm hanging on the moment of glory, I'm on the edge with you , the edge, the edge the edge the edge with you

Have you ever seen the comedy show Broad City? It's on comedy central and you tube. Anyway, last week one of the main characters was dancing around her apartment naked singing this (blurred out parts). Show makes me lmao

[Flyer]

Add me to the 'me too' list. I've been in a funk since November. For today, thinking it may be cabin fever that I hope will go away with the coming spring. I should start some garden seeds for entertainment, and an early spring.

I've probably been BP before the most of you were even born. Yes, sometimes it sucks. There have been times I wished the docs would just put me in a medically induced coma until it passes, and it will pass. It always does, though I have wondered a few times.

BP does have it's good sides though, oddly enough, IMO. If it weren't for it, would we appreciate the 'good times' so much? Would we appreciate the small pleasures in life so much? And so on. Sometimes I wonder how boring it might be if I didn't have it. We wouldn't appreciate the sun so much if it never rained, right?

For those of you who's meds aren't working, talk to your dr. If your dr's not working for you, find another. If your therapist just isn't doing it for you, change. Remember it is Your Bus, and You are the Driver.

Ya, it can be the squirts, but it always gets better.

We're all in this together.

Shoot me, I wish I want

Originally Posted by Flyer

Add me to the 'me too' list. I've been in a funk since November. For today, thinking it may be cabin fever that I hope will go away with the coming spring. I should start some garden seeds for entertainment, and an early spring.

I've probably been BP before the most of you were even born. Yes, sometimes it sucks. There have been times I wished the docs would just put me in a medically induced coma until it passes, and it will pass. It always does, though I have wondered a few times.

BP does have it's good sides though, oddly enough, IMO. If it weren't for it, would we appreciate the 'good times' so much? Would we appreciate the small pleasures in life so much? And so on. Sometimes I wonder how boring it might be if I didn't have it. We wouldn't appreciate the sun so much if it never rained, right?

For those of you who's meds aren't working, talk to your dr. If your dr's not working for you, find another. If your therapist just isn't doing it for you, change. Remember it is Your Bus, and You are the Driver.

Ya, it can be the squirts, but it always gets better.

We're all in this together.

Hah. Bp for 47 years. Do me now, no point why?. Sucks that I'm also 27. Figure it out.

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Hah. Bp for 47 years. Do me now, no point why?. Sucks that I'm also 27. Figure it out.

Don't join the 27 club.

I almost did. I'm glad I didn't.

Haha. thanks for that. We're just have too many loose ends here. I'm good to go now.