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#1
Jan 31, 2015, 10:14 PM
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From last Tuesday to Yesterday (SAt) I was IP due to severe irritability, agitation and substance abuse. On Sat I was discharged as I felt I could cope on my own. How wrong I was. Since lunch yesterday I had begun sliding down rapidly. I cannot stop crying and thinking of suicide. I feel like a failure and a hopeless case.
Last night my friend was going to take me to emergency but I convinced her I would be safe as I hoped I would feel better in the morning. This morning I felt much worse and could not stop crying. I rang the hospital I was at and they can take me back in as an IP tomorrow so I just have to get through today. I am staying with my parents to stay safe. I just feel there is no hope for me. I may lose my job, or at least be demoted as I have taken 6 weeks off work sick in the last year. I am scared of living more than dying and that is a worry. I am also concenrned there is nothing else my doctor can do to help me as he has done so much already and is a wonderful, experienced doctor. Sorry I just had to rant to get this off my chest. I know no one can help but it can be nice not to feel alone.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
 Anonymous100205, Anonymous59125, Junia, Skywalking, Victoria'smom, violet66, wildflowerchild25
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#2
Jan 31, 2015, 11:13 PM
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I hope this IP helps you.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
 Wander
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#3
Feb 01, 2015, 02:38 AM
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You're doing the wisest thing you can do, and I really hope it helps. Just a guess but if you had a medication adjusted it might be to blame. Lots of love, hang in there. You can make it.
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| Wander
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#4
Feb 01, 2015, 08:05 AM
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Don't feel like a failure. You just left too early, that's all. I've done that a couple times and ended up back in ip a couple of weeks later. You are not hopeless. I know it feels that way now but there is something out there to help you. You just have to find it. You are not alone in this.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
| Wander
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#5
Feb 01, 2015, 08:30 AM
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Never ever feel like a failure for getting help! You can do this! Hope IP is helpful!
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| Wander
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#6
Feb 01, 2015, 05:06 PM
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no reason to feel like a failure, many people have to make multiple quick return hospital visits (myself included). i know exactly how it feels, i feel like a lost cause for my doctor but something keeps me alive. i dunno. i hope you have a helpful ip visit and you can stay hopeful
__________________
DX: bpd, ocd, gad, schizoaffective depressed type RX: neurontin, valium, lithium, remeron, vraylar past RX: geodon, risperdal, abilify, prozac, wellbutrin, baclofen, hydroxyzine, trazadone, zoloft, klonopin, cymbalta, latuda, loxapine, rexulti, seroquel, luvox, saphris Dont get lost in your pain, know that one day your pain will become your cure ~ Rumi |
| Wander
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#7
Feb 01, 2015, 05:10 PM
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I have left too early too and had to go back twice. Nothing to be ashamed of. You're not a failure at all.
 Take all the time you need to feel better. 
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| Wander
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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