[gloamingone]

The only two people I talk to are my T and my ex-husband. No T until Tuesday, and I can't get a hold of my ex. I'm so tired of having no one to talk to when the fit hits the shan. I need to get out of here if only for a few hours, but there's no place to go. I need to talk to someone so I don't hurt myself. But there is never anyone there.

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I can understand how that feels. I really hate when I'm in a tight spot and my best friend in unavailable and my wife isn't home. It's frustrating, its scary, and you really do truly feel alone. One thing that I do when it gets bad, simply just to get away from the house is go for long walks. The air outside is calming, and I feel like nothing can really hurt me. I take my dogs with me and just go. Is there a park nearby you can go walk around in?

[gloamingone]

Yes, there is a park nearby, but I also have agoraphobia. And an intense phobia of grass (seriously--it's crazy!). I guess I could drive around in my car for a while.

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[butterflypower]

I understand how you feel. I feel like I have no one to talk to when I need it the most.
I like to clean when I feel really emotional. I feel so accomplished after cleaning.

[~Christina]

It's terrible to feel so alone, I have been there many times, it sucks ! You can always post on PC of course, start up closer friendships by PM'ing members that you like there advice, compassion, or are in the same boat as you emotionally. Two emotionally shaky people can lean on each other and both feel stronger.

Check with your local mental health clinic(s). Mine has whats called a "Warm line" Just someone to talk to, I have called a handful of times and lines are being answered by people with mental illness and are they in a good place mentally so they really understand a caller is hurting and can offer an ear or a shoulder.

It's hard to reach out for help... But if you don't your going to just stay stuck and we all know that is the last place a BP person needs to be, "Stuck feeling alone"

Reach out

[gloamingone]

I feel so devastated. Someone I love told me today to stop feeling sorry for myself and that BP isn't a real illness. To just "be happy." That made me feel even more alone. Sleeping on the couch tonight. My last night in this apartment, and I'm feeling so, so horribly down.

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Im sorry you are having a tough time

[Wander]

Originally Posted by gloamingone

I feel so devastated. Someone I love told me today to stop feeling sorry for myself and that BP isn't a real illness. To just "be happy." That made me feel even more alone. Sleeping on the couch tonight. My last night in this apartment, and I'm feeling so, so horribly down.

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That is terrible advice. I hope you are not taking it to heart. My ex-husbands family also believed mental illnesses were not real. I had to live with them for 18 months too. Their constant judgement and contempt almost crushed me. You are not responsible for your illness and cannot simply talk yourself into happiness. Gosh, if you could you would right? Sorry you feel so alone. It is a horrible space to be in, especially when feeling so down. We at PC love you and are'here' for you as best we can. You also have your wonderful self to keep you company. Sounds weird but when I went through a period of my life where I felt I had no one to turn to I discovered myself as my best friend. Still. I hope you find some tangible shoulder to lean on. Take care