After a lifetime of thinking, I've proven to myself that I just can't trust myself, regardless how medicated I get. I'm guaranteed to never have the same opinion twice in the same moment because I'm always changing. Between all the alter opinions magnified by the bipolar duality, I'm exhausted.

How I feel in the morning is not necessarily how I'll feel that night. I've been told that I make a lousy parent, always changing my mind on punishments and my opinion on things. I try though. I'm ruled by emotion over logic, which I don't get. Logic is still ruled by emotion, it all depends on your point of view.

I can argue with myself over a decision for hours, a purchase, a path to take, or a direction to go. After a decision is made, I'm in doubt sooner than later. I'm a person torn. I think I need to flip a coin to make my decisions for me from now on.

Does bipolar tear you up also? Can you trust yourself to make a competent decision and stick to it?

[~Christina]

Bipolar certainly causes doubts in decision making..

In your case, you mentioned you have 30 alters, I don't know how its even possible to survive with that many alters from my understanding. I guess many are benign, right?

Does your Pdoc and T have any ideas on how to be more consistant with say parenting?

Yea, I have extra curricular opinions, but just by the fact as an ultra rapid cycler, I keep changing opinions on the same plane. I don't know how to say it. Bipolar affects the entire system, it wins. I stay the same alter for days with a few switches but bipolar always wins. We can't beat the mood swings.

Yes, many of my alters has been a main host in my lifetime. They are still here, but they are in advisory positions. I've got 5-8 mains I revolve around, with 2 hosts, the home body and the outside body.

But bipolar is my biggest demon.

I always have problems making logical decisions especially when I'm manic my husband has to make the decisions for me bc I can't make up my mind

[UpDownMiddleGround]

I tend to make a decision and wait before I tell anyone. That way i come off as thoughtful and calculated rather than indecisive. I am also learning to write things down (in my most sane state) That way I can refer to the plan. Today, i think that's a good idea :-). No husband to make the call for me anymore when I can't handle it, so i'm left to my own vices.

Call me impulsive girlfriend! Lol

I just can't resist! I'm always ready to explode with an idea. I can't help it!