[ChaoticSymphony]

I wouldn't be true to myself if I didn't follow thru with one of my stollen sayings..."if you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best".

I don't feel like slitting my own throat anymore, it's been a couple days (started seroquel which seems to do the trick). I was there though, 2 failed suicide attempts both which resulted with my in the hosp drinking charcoal so to be fair I was at a pretty low spot. I would think a person who supposedly cared about me wouldn't judge but support and if they don't know how to support they shut their damn mouth with their ******* opinions and just say I'm here if you need or something just as supportive.

Nope one friend stopped talking to me period and the other asked what Was so wrong in my life to succumb to that. Not in a I really wanna know way but in a way that meant dummy up other ppl have it worse. Like herself that selfish bleep. What does any of us have to have wrong in our lives to succumb to depression? We are at our minds mercy not the other way around.

The one friend who hasn't spoken to me I have not completely wrote off yet. I understand how hard it is on the other spectrum of suicicde. The second, however, has been here herself so I'm afraid that friendship is disposable and I really need supportive ppl right now. I'm not out of this mess yet even though things are feeling way way way better.

Hugs to anyone struggling right now. Remember it lifts. It's hell but it lifts. Also thanks for hearing my vent.

[jacky8807]

Oh dear....i know that pain. When i slity wrists i experienced some of that. Ppl get very edgy over self harm and suicide. Thy act like its offensive or something.
Just helps to realize thy simply CANNOT get it, even sometimes the closest of friends or family

[wiretwister]

glad your doing a little better now, sorry you had such a double wammy .....
((((hugs))))

[Homeira]

So sad to hear your story. I have accepted that people just dont get what it means to be suicidal. I dont wish that sort of utter despair on anyone. Just remember how strong you are, and that you are a survivor. I believe being suicidal must be the hardest human experience. So kudos to you for getting through it. Remember that people come into your life, sometimes they stay, and sometimes they dont. Part of life, but hard to cope with in the middle of the sort of crisis you are going through. Best of luck to you!

[Wander]

So sorry that on top of everything else you have had to deal with your friends negative reactions. Perhaps they will come around once they process what has happened. Perhaps they are just the type of people who run when suicide is involved so you can only have a shallower kind of friendship with them. Most of my 'friends' ran for the hills when I became suicidal. I think most people just don't know what to do or hoe to support you. I am still friends with these people but know not to bring up my illness. Do you have friends who have stuck around? Cling to those friends. I hope you have some support as we all need it when so unwell. I am glad you made it through and are feeling relatively better. Stay strong.

[ChaoticSymphony]

Thank you all so so so much. My mind keeps wanting to tell me how useless and how much of a burden I am on my family but my heart says this will pass. All your supportive words mean so much. I have three other friends left. I'll just talk mental illness with the professionals from now on.

[ChaoticSymphony]

Instead of my friends.

[Madison516]

Originally Posted by ChaoticSymphony

I wouldn't be true to myself if I didn't follow thru with one of my stollen sayings..."if you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best".

I don't feel like slitting my own throat anymore, it's been a couple days (started seroquel which seems to do the trick). I was there though, 2 failed suicide attempts both which resulted with my in the hosp drinking charcoal so to be fair I was at a pretty low spot. I would think a person who supposedly cared about me wouldn't judge but support and if they don't know how to support they shut their damn mouth with their ******* opinions and just say I'm here if you need or something just as supportive.

Nope one friend stopped talking to me period and the other asked what Was so wrong in my life to succumb to that. Not in a I really wanna know way but in a way that meant dummy up other ppl have it worse. Like herself that selfish bleep. What does any of us have to have wrong in our lives to succumb to depression? We are at our minds mercy not the other way around.

The one friend who hasn't spoken to me I have not completely wrote off yet. I understand how hard it is on the other spectrum of suicicde. The second, however, has been here herself so I'm afraid that friendship is disposable and I really need supportive ppl right now. I'm not out of this mess yet even though things are feeling way way way better.

Hugs to anyone struggling right now. Remember it lifts. It's hell but it lifts. Also thanks for hearing my vent.

I've learned that there are just some people you don't need in your life. It's hard enough fighting the negative thoughts in our own heads let alone to have negative people in our lives. If they don't support you, let them go, cuz it can only end up triggering you in the end. I hope things get better.

Originally Posted by ChaoticSymphony

I wouldn't be true to myself if I didn't follow thru with one of my stollen sayings..."if you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best".

I don't feel like slitting my own throat anymore, it's been a couple days (started seroquel which seems to do the trick). I was there though, 2 failed suicide attempts both which resulted with my in the hosp drinking charcoal so to be fair I was at a pretty low spot. I would think a person who supposedly cared about me wouldn't judge but support and if they don't know how to support they shut their damn mouth with their ******* opinions and just say I'm here if you need or something just as supportive.

Nope one friend stopped talking to me period and the other asked what Was so wrong in my life to succumb to that. Not in a I really wanna know way but in a way that meant dummy up other ppl have it worse. Like herself that selfish bleep. What does any of us have to have wrong in our lives to succumb to depression? We are at our minds mercy not the other way around.

The one friend who hasn't spoken to me I have not completely wrote off yet. I understand how hard it is on the other spectrum of suicicde. The second, however, has been here herself so I'm afraid that friendship is disposable and I really need supportive ppl right now. I'm not out of this mess yet even though things are feeling way way way better.

Hugs to anyone struggling right now. Remember it lifts. It's hell but it lifts. Also thanks for hearing my vent.

I am sorry that this is happening to you I just had my in law call me crazy to my husband for wanting to go visit my family after my depressive episode I heard her from the other room and it really hurt my feelings.. I need supportive people in my life not people who know about my illness and whisper behind my back who think I'm crazy and aren't really there for me.. I wouldn't tell anyone else about your illness I mean it's up to you but I decided not to tell any of my close friends bc I'm scared of how they will react I think some of them kinda know i am bipolar or something is up but never really asked me ya know.. We need positive people in our lives and support supoort means so much especially when your suicidal I know somewhat of what your going through its so hard to be positive when your constantly fighting with your own brain not to kill yourself and constantly crying in a depressive stage it happened to me and my husband hasn't been very supportive so I finally talked him into letting me go stay with my own parents and I belive it has helped so far I'm so glad to be back and here with loving supportive ppl! Family and friends.
I hope you start to feel better I am here if you wanna talk! Your definetely not alone!

People who aren't bipolar will never understand what we are going through my husband called me selfish for being suicidal.

We didn't ask for this illness and if there not gonna be supportive then eff them!

I agree with Sky. I am in the same boat. I have no one for support other than my kid and that is not their burden.