Friends who "mean well"

On the edge? I'm chilled out right now. I've been a bit emotional today,

Me, my mom, my sister, and my nephew are all bipolar.

I've been in intense therapy for three years. I've learned to manage the signs in myself.

From my experience, if I were your friend, this is what I would think: If you snapped out of a suicidal depression, and then almost immediately decided you wanted body piercings, I would be alarmed as well.

I know a lot of people with bipolar other than my family. I dated a bipolar girl who was addicted to tattoos and piercings.

In my experience, people with bipolar or other mental health issues, tattoos and piercings have a very different purpose to them, than to most people. For them, it's often subverting the deep emotional pain for external physical pain. And that pain becomes addicting, because (just like someone who cuts themselves) it distracts you from the internal pain. And tattoo/piercing addicts also have the leg up of saying "is art" or "it's decoration" to legitimize their addiction. And this is coming from me, a graphic artist -- who is also bipolar and was (at a time) addicted to pain.

What I'm saying is, you really need to deeply evaluate your intentions for permanently modifying your body. Especially if it involves needles. If you have no good reason, and its "just because" that might be a sign there is a deeper unconscious motivation. Trust me.

When your friends "mean well" it's because they do mean well. They recognize these things, even if they don't know how to put it into words like I did. They see these signs. Trust me. I've been on all sides.

I've been frustrated at being told similar things. But what does getting agitated and angry solve? Why are you trying so hard to "prove them wrong"? Why does that matter?

And more importantly, what would that accomplish?

1. Will it prove you are superior and more knowledgeable? No.
2. It will alienate them, and make them less likely to want to help you in the future.
3. It will make them feel stupid. Which will also discourage them from helping you in the future.
4. If you are hypomanic, and you try "proving them wrong" it will make you feel stupid.

So what's the point of being "right"? What do you gain? Nothing. All you get is the sense of satisfaction of being "right" while alienating your friend, who only wants the best for you and was looking out for you.

There are more important things in this world than being right. Such as, loving your family and friends, and thanking them for supporting you through your hard times.

Next time, try this when a friend hints that you may be going hypo/manic:

"Thank you for your insight. I didn't realize I was acting that way. I don't think I am being hypomanic, I do feel fine. But I'm not always sure. I will take your perspective into consideration. Thank you for looking out for me. I appreciate it. "

That's all you have to do. And if you truly feel fine, then it won't bother you. You won't be upset or offended. Because your friend really does mean well. They are your friend! They love you.

If you find yourself getting overtly defensive (such as going to the extreme of calling your doc to "prove something") that's probably a good sign you ARE in fact going into a mania. That defensiveness is a sign of self-righteous "I can't be wrong" black-&-white thinking. Which is a subset of the "feeling invincible" symptom of mania. Which also tends to lead to impulsive behavior. Such as body piercings.

That's my experience. Take it or leave it.

But there are far more important things in this world than being right.

I don't think it's a manic choice to pierce? I would be mad if anyone would point a finger and Dx my choices w a label

Oh I forgot to mention in my previous post on this one -

My favourite line from my husband:

"Have you taken your meds today?" when I appear somewhat grumpy or something!

Well, I didn't really know little events in life meant I wasn't allowed to feel such human things that have nothing to do with being BP

Thanks. There was a time I used piercings/tattoos as therapy because it was self-harm and my family couldn't say something was wrong with me for getting them. I would get them impulsively and all the time. I wanted to nose ring just because and because I thought it would be cute. Ive had it two times before. LOL!

My mountain top happiness was short lived with only two days. Yesterday was emotional for me. and today Im just blah. I appreciate your message. Im not upset with my friend but I certainly was that day. I feel stupid I called my Dr. That was dumb of me, wasn't it? :'( I did go from being depressed to waking up feeling amazing. I felt so positive and like nothing would ever be wrong again. Like I was healed and nothing was wrong with me

Im so so sad my big happiness is gone. :'(

I still want a piercing. Im usually 100% any type of piercing except at a tattoo shop but I just want one so bad Ill go to Claires

Im going!

I totally feel ya.

It's not a manic choice to pierce in and of itself. But it's important to look into your intentions and state-of-mind when doing things. Impulsivity is a key sign of something being wrong. There is a fine line between impulsivity and spontaneity.

I've been on both sides of that finger pointing. And usually the person who is calling out my behavior is right.

And yes, it hurts when they are wrong.

I got cartiledge pierced in both ears cause why not

No one understands!!!