[kinkcray]

Today I almost lost my husband because I have been cheating on him on and off for years. I can't control the urges to sleep with random men and women. I would like to talk to some people who are struggling with this. I want to get better and am going to the doctor to get my medication changed. Is there something that works better than others? I want to be a good wife and friend, but if I am not having sex then I am shopping. It is driving me mad!

[Ruftin]

Welcome to Psych Centrel Kinkcray. So glad you are here. Are you on medications. Many of them can shoot you into mania which can stir up intense sexual desires. You may want to check with your prescribing doctor if you are on medications. May I suggest to you the following forum:

Sexual Addictions - Forums at Psych Central

Please feel free to contact any community liasian or moderator if you need assistance navigating the forums here. Be well!!

[gayleggg]

I've had similar problems in the past. I found a 12-step group to attend. It helped me get my urges under control. It didn't happen overnight but it did work. I mainly acted out when I was manic. Now the meds I'm on helped with that so the urges aren't as bad. You can pm me if you want to talk.

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What has helped me is being on medication and a fundamental spiritual belief, like Christianity where it isn't right but sinful to commit adultery. Going to a 12 step meeting can hook you up with a higher power of your choosing to get some spiritual structure. Good luck with that and God bless.

I have only had those strong urges when in a manic episode. I am single and without a partner.

Are you on meds?

[kinkcray]

I am on medication, but I am am headed back to the doctor to discuss my issues and see if something else can work. Drugs always seem to work for me then stop.

[kinkcray]

I have also started going back to church with a friend and it feels great. I have had a side man for almost 3 years now to get that attention and sex I wasn't getting at home. I ended it a month ago and my manic and depressed states have been flipping rapidly.

It kinda sounds like that you aren't getting that "connection" that you need with your husband, have you ever thought about talking about it, to fill your sexual needs?

[kinkcray]

To be honest I don't get what I want and I have had many conversations with him about my needs. He isn't into sex like I am and wants it much less than I do. I like trying new things and he just likes the regular stuff.

[Velouria]

Yeah...there are things I want my boyfriend to engage in with me that he isn't very interested in. I can totally understand where you're coming from.

Just curious: do you find you tend to rev up more (or most) and find yourself engaging in more promiscuous behavior in the Spring?

[quasicrystalline]

Originally Posted by kinkcray

To be honest I don't get what I want and I have had many conversations with him about my needs. He isn't into sex like I am and wants it much less than I do. I like trying new things and he just likes the regular stuff.

I just made a post about this. I, too, get super adventurous and want to do lots of new things.

I think maybe it's bc when manic you want to do adventures stuff things out of the normal something exciting well that's how I feel at least but I did have to tell myself over and over that it's wrong and not to constantly it's hard to think clearly when manic but I think with really hard preservance it can be controlled and meds ?

I am not a cheater but I know it can be very hard. I have other problems when manic. I agree that you should try to discuss it with your husband and maybe try marriage counseling.

Do you think it is his lack of interest or mania or both?

[Crazy Hitch]

I understand sex drive and mania.

But try keep it safe.

It doesn't need to cross physical boundaries.

(((hugs)))

[lunaticfringe]

I can totally relate to everything here. Not only do my sexual desires intensify when hypo/manic, but I cannot control them and I am at the mercy of my impulses. A big thing for me also is developing more amorous feelings for people...falling desperately in love with someone, becoming infatuated with them and obsessing and fantasizing about them constantly...and then making impulsive decisions based on them. Phew...huge problem for me. Still dealing with the repercussions of these things now.

When it comes to manic sex I crave intense primal sex no bars hold uninhibited...................but I have to take care of most of it myself- excuse me...... There is nothing wrong with a strong fantasy life. Just going out and ruining your life over it it is something to look inward about. Maybe for some, it's just impossible, I do believe that also. I fall in love with strangers that I just met, but, I can't go against my core beliefs, 99.7% of the time.

[LDB1]

When manic I also become very hyper-sexual. My x-wife hated it. She isn't a very sexual person at the best of times. When living with an undiagnosed, unmedicated bipolar what little interest in sex she had dried up, much to my frustration. I can forgive her that, we all know that living with someone like us is challenging, to say the least. What still bothers me is she always made me feel like a pervert because my sex drive was so high. She knew it was the quickest way to divert my attention.

Ironically, less than a year after we divorced I was diagnosed and medicated. Now I have almost no interest in sex.