Let me lay this on the line. Yeah, I'm bipolar. I am also care giving for my 78 year old and legally blind father. I am double whammied with a miserable life. I want to find me a female mate before I'm too old, but he's not going to allow one at "his" home. I understand it's his place, but am I supposed to be deprived of a life to help him. He gets sad/snappy when I talk about moving. See he sleeps in the living room and has for years. I asked him to use his bedroom so the living room could be inviting just like most living rooms. He asks if I'm trying to make him move out.

Any folks here ever been in this situation with an older parent? Seriously, I am bipolar. This situation stresses me a lot and has for a while. The worst part, is I've been unable to work due to bp, so moving is not an option.

My father is a dic@he%d and wants me to live like I'm still a teenager. I may be ill, but I still deserve to be able to have some happiness, peace, entertainment, and love. I can't have it here watching after him. He was pretty much a mean, verbally abusive, hateful, control freak when I was young, and I hated him. All I have ever wanted was to get away from. I've been away several times with girlfriends, but remember I'm bipolar, so they always end up dissolved after 2-3 years just like my employment, and I wind up back with someone who made me miserable and he is miserable himself.

In fact, he smoked a cigar, and he hasn't smoked in 10 years. I know it's because I mentioned moving. But damn, if I wanted to invite a girlfriend over, there's no where for her to sit because he won't through his mail away because he lays it all over the couch (his bed) and his love seat, and he has a fit I want to. He has a fit if I want to move something to make room because he's a half hoarder.

Seriously, does he want me to move? He says he needs someone around. He gets me to read stuff, fix his pc, and a lot of other chores. BUT, I'M NOTHING MORE THAN A F'ING SLAVE. I GET FOOD AND THAT'S IT. SO I HAVE TO BE SECLUDED WITH NO LIFE TO TAKE CARE OF HIS ***. I'M ABOUT.TO TELL HIM JUST HOW I FEEL.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

[CANDC]

Sorry to hear you are feeling high stress levels from dealing with BP and caregiving to someone that you have always had difficulty being around.

It sounds like your financial situation prevents moving out and trying to bring a new girlfriend into that kind of situation would challenge and possibly destroy any relationship

Is there any possible way of making a separate apartment out of the house for yourself with your own entrance? Or if there was a cottage out back that you could get away from it all when the mild weather comes back.

Does he have any other relatives that would spell you?

Is he financially able to pay you a certain amount of money for caregiving services? Having money would allow you time away.

Can he afford a private attendant a couple weekends a month so you can get away?

A therapist or social worker might help you work through anger and resentment and also provide possible solutions.

[jacky8807]

The state will pay you for providing care. Atleast here thy wod
Im sorry your finding yourself in such a difficult situation
But you only got one life my friend
Make it yours