[sleepless0515]

So, as everybody know, I'm going through a horrible mixed episode.

Yesterday, I have had finally reached bottom and tried hurting myself by cutting my wrist. Just a few minutes through the act, I think about my husband and children and I stopped immediately.

Due to the incident, and me not getting any better; my husband and I will be going to see my PDoctor this after-noon.

I'm scared to death. If I answer yes to the question on the assessment: "have you tried to hurt yourself" or "did you have suicidal thoughts" or that if I tell him about last night, that he will call on me and have me on Lock down.

What do you guys think? Are there any chances that he would do that?
By the way, my husband is following me closely and makes sure that I take my medication and that I'm safe.

Please don't judge me....I don't that was selfish but I felt like I wasn't in control, a weird phase of derealization. Yesterday had been a terrible day and I have finally reached bottom in my hellish episode.

[palerefraction]

If yesterday was the bottom, lock down or not, the only place to go is up! I hope you find some stability soon.

[ozzy1313]

I told my pdoc I was feeling suicidal but didn't think I would bc of my kids, and she didn't even mention hospital.

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[~Christina]

I think you need to be honest with your Pdoc .. The fact that you started too, well that takes it up a very big step.

If it were me? I would certainly go IP without a second thought.

While IP..... medications can be fiddled with much faster and you will be safe. Especially when Mixed, Pdocs can just slam you hard with meds for a couple days to just stop that horrid mess in it's tracks.

Being Mixed is pure hell on earth.

Stay safe

[Victoria'smom]

I vote IP because you never know when the next time will be because you're not in control of your actions.

How deep were the cuts? requiring stitches? Are there suicidal plans? My pdocs wouldnt admit me for a single sh attempt but would if i had a sui plan in place.

In saying that years back i did a whole lot of shallow cuts, nothing compared to what was 'normal' for me at the time (requiring stitches regularly) and they put me in a locked ward for 5 days and I had to fight my way out.

So it really depends on the doc, your insurance and what treatment your doc might recommend (IOP, DBT etc). If you go in voluntarily it is a more pleasant experience.

Dont be too afraid if it truly is a mixed ep to go IP, it may not be so bad depending on the hospital and it'll get you out of the ep quicker than struggling at home juggling multiple meds over weeks/months.

Goodluck

Personally, if I was in that state, I'd go IP voluntarily just knowing that it would give my pdoc time to stabilize my meds, etc. in a safe environment. But i know I have a good hospital and my pdoc IS my IP Pdoc which helps immensely.

[sleepless0515]

Originally Posted by Supanova

How deep were the cuts? requiring stitches? Are there suicidal plans? My pdocs wouldnt admit me for a single sh attempt but would if i had a sui plan in place.

In saying that years back i did a whole lot of shallow cuts, nothing compared to what was 'normal' for me at the time (requiring stitches regularly) and they put me in a locked ward for 5 days and I had to fight my way out.

So it really depends on the doc, your insurance and what treatment your doc might recommend (IOP, DBT etc). If you go in voluntarily it is a more pleasant experience.

Dont be too afraid if it truly is a mixed ep to go IP, it may not be so bad depending on the hospital and it'll get you out of the ep quicker than struggling at home juggling multiple meds over weeks/months.

Goodluck

Not that deep, I stopped the minute I saw blood...

I actually had my first visit with the dr. whose name has been on every bottle of meds for over a year. Yep, the 6 month 10 minute waste of time visit. Why's it a waste of time you ask? It takes me 10 minutes to sit down, get comfortable, and get started.

Anyway, he ignored me when he asked if I think about the forbidden word. I said yes, all the time. I've told the therapist as well. They have never told me to go to a hospital, call 911 or nothing. So if the ultimate ever happens, the grim reaper will haunt their souls if they send a sympathy card to a family member.

It's all about Money. We are nothing but a big fat $ sign to them.

How do I get a request for when I die, I want my hand to be shooting a bird if they have a viewing?

Ah in that case there is really no need for concern. I doubt they would admit you over that.

[Victoria'smom]

How'd it go?

[sleepless0515]

Thanks for asking! So, I wasn't admitted, but I'm on some sort of house arrest LOL. The doctor made sure to tell my husband to watch me 24/7 and put all medicine in our safe box. My husband, being a former health professional, is taking care of me as if I was in IP. Oh, and my PDoc switched my Dekapote to Lithium, and my Prozac to Cymbalta.