[quasicrystalline]

Starting to wonder whether or not I am in fact bipolar. I feel like I was possibly misdiagnosed and prescribed medication I do not need. Medication that might be more harmful to be than it is helpful. I know I shouldn't do this. I definitely know it'd be dangerous to stop taking my meds, but ughhh, I can't shake these doubts.

I know I recently had a manic episode that got me hospitalized, but maybe that was just a freak thing that'll never happen again. My anxiety can be so bad I wonder if that's not just the culprit of everything.

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi quas

I don't think its unusual too much to doubt diagnosis if we are not in an episode and reflecting back on one and wondering if there may have been other factors that contributed to the mood state other than BP.

Your anxiety may likely have contributed to your last Manic episode that required hospitalisation.

I guess when I do this personally its a way of me questioning did I really do that because of xyz - I'm trying to rationalise everything in my mind.

Chance are if you did have a genuine "Manic" episode that required hospitalisation; yes, you are Bipolar. You're just trying to figure out what went on at the time.

This is just my personal opinion on this.

[Wander]

What kind of mood are you in now? Our moods can blur reality at times. Maybe you should hold off stopping your meds until you have seen your pdoc and discussed your concerns with them. No one here can tell if you have bipolar but if you had a clear manic episode, which look different to pure anxiety, you are definately bipolar. Look up the DSM-V definition online and see if it fits what you have experienced. It will be a guide until you see a professional. Take care.

[Turtlesoup]

Hi Quasi-many of us here have coexisting issues so it is possible. For myself I try not to focus on the labels as much as where I'm at symptom wise-my goal is to continue having a healthy lifestyle & manage my issues however I need to at the time using my coping skills, meds, therapy etc. The meds are trial & error so sometimes it takes a while to find a good combo. Take care

[BipolaRNurse]

For years I've tormented myself with thoughts that I was merely suffering from a long existential crisis instead of bipolar disorder. It wasn't until I was hospitalized last fall that I realized that I really do have bipolar, there's no need for any more debate on the subject. At least, not until I've been stable for a while.....

I don't want to have it. I hate having it. I hate what I've become. I don't want to accept it. I don't want to accept that I will never be nothing but a complete and utter loser the rest of my life. The last 4 years have been an absolute nightmare and hell on earth for me. I really have no reason to live. There is not one valid reason for me to consume oxygen out of the air that many menyally healthy people need. I am now a waste of a human being because this has all devasted me. The dx does make a lot of sense as I look back at my life. I just absolutely cannot get over thinking that I may have been able to have had a good life up until this point if I knew when I was a teenager. I ruined my life by depriving myself of all things good because of isolation. I no longer have any reason to continue on. Can anyone give me a seriously good reason? The anti depressant positive tomorrow can be better doesn't work for me because ad put me in huge debt because of that kind on mentality. I am a Realist. I need serious real and valid reasons why I have to remain alive and kicking?

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by Lunatic Fringe

I don't want to have it. I hate having it. I hate what I've become. I don't want to accept it. I don't want to accept that I will never be nothing but a complete and utter loser the rest of my life. The last 4 years have been an absolute nightmare and hell on earth for me. I really have no reason to live. There is not one valid reason for me to consume oxygen out of the air that many menyally healthy people need. I am now a waste of a human being because this has all devasted me. The dx does make a lot of sense as I look back at my life. I just absolutely cannot get over thinking that I may have been able to have had a good life up until this point if I knew when I was a teenager. I ruined my life by depriving myself of all things good because of isolation. I no longer have any reason to continue on. Can anyone give me a seriously good reason? The anti depressant positive tomorrow can be better doesn't work for me because ad put me in huge debt because of that kind on mentality. I am a Realist........

I need serious real and valid reasons why I have to remain alive and kicking?

because I want you too,,

[CJFL]

Hello quas, please see your doc before stopping medication. I was diagnosed years back as bipolar and refused to accept it. I too doubted diagnosis as I was not a text book case. My denial and not taking medication made me worse. I was BP2 then now BP1. I began rapid cycling and finally saw another psychiatrist who confirmed what the first doc had diagnosed. I have accepted this disorder as it is. Good luck. CJ

[mrba08]

I do the same thing every time! For some reason I can never fully accept it. And I'm a nurse too!

Chart your mood, anxiety symptoms and triggers. Dont go off meds without pdoc approval but IMO if you are doubting your diagnosis than figure out what it could possibly be. Correct diagnosis = correct treatment.

[mrba08]

What makes you feel that you are a complete and utter loser?? People with Bipolar can still lead very successful and fulfilling lives! Meds don't do the trick alone. One needs therapy to learn positive thinking techniques and how to be aware of one's own triggers so that you can stop symptoms in their tracks. One has to want to help themselves. That's what I learned in my case. And I started exercising regularly which I hated in the beginning and now I feel better than ever

[quasicrystalline]

Originally Posted by Lunatic Fringe

I don't want to have it. I hate having it. I hate what I've become. I don't want to accept it. I don't want to accept that I will never be nothing but a complete and utter loser the rest of my life. The last 4 years have been an absolute nightmare and hell on earth for me. I really have no reason to live. There is not one valid reason for me to consume oxygen out of the air that many menyally healthy people need. I am now a waste of a human being because this has all devasted me. The dx does make a lot of sense as I look back at my life. I just absolutely cannot get over thinking that I may have been able to have had a good life up until this point if I knew when I was a teenager. I ruined my life by depriving myself of all things good because of isolation. I no longer have any reason to continue on. Can anyone give me a seriously good reason? The anti depressant positive tomorrow can be better doesn't work for me because ad put me in huge debt because of that kind on mentality. I am a Realist. I need serious real and valid reasons why I have to remain alive and kicking?

I second what wiretwister said. I don't know you, but I can tell you're a pretty neat person from posts I've seen on this forum. Keep fighting. I know you haven't had an easy road, but you can make it!

[Fuzzybear]

[quasicrystalline]

Thanks, everyone. I think I'm going to have to come to accept that the doubts are part of the cycle.

I decided to talk to my therapist about the doubts and my suspicions that it could be something else, like BPD. He told me he sometimes doubts his patients diagnoses and suspects their psychiatrist may have overlooked something, but he is 100% positive I am not borderline and that I have Bipolar I disorder with comorbid anxiety, most likely GAD. I trust this man more than any therapist I've had, so that helps. He also told me it's very common for bipolar patients to doubt their diagnosis from time to time and that it's not uncommon to suffer from severe anxiety with it.

[Sistah]

I feel the same way. I was diagnosed in 2006 and still don't feel like I'm truly BP. I've been doing extremely well while taking LTH, Lamictal, and Wellbutrin. I cannot shake the idea that I'm not BP. My therapist asked me if I thought I were BP and I said no. She said she didn't either. When I told my BP group therapist what my therapist told me, the group therapist asked me if my therapist has ever seen me off of medication. Most of the time I'm pretty "normal" but I'm currently experiencing really stressful times and as a result I'm demonstrating behaviors that have me questioning myself. I attribute my behavior and feelings to the stressors happening in my life. But I feel like my actions are very much out of character from who I really am. I feel that I'm out of control and that is frustrating. I also feel that "normal" people feel and experience what I'm going through. Sometimes I feel I'm in denial and other times I feel like like I'm being very truthful and realistic with myself. So I really understand how you feel. The resident therapist that I had before my current therapist, suggested that I was Borderline. I participated in DBT which was very helpful. Sometimes I feel like I have characteristics of both disorders but at the sometime I don't feel like I'm truly neither. Oh well!