[Bipolartist]

So, I've been in a relationship with a narcissist for a very long time. The bad far outweighs the good at this point. He has no respect for my mental illness and even implies that I'm exaggerating my symptoms when he's the one triggering a lot of paranoia, anger, and panic attacks.

I've tried confronting him, standing up for myself, breaking up, etc. but no matter how cruel he's been, suddenly I'm the a-hole when I stand up to him.

This time I'm just trying avoidance. I'm ignoring his repeated calls. It's scary, but I just can't deal with another confrontational. It feels like a no one.

I'm even paranoid he's going to read this. This is just consuming all of my brain and I need some relief. Maybe just time will tell... I dunno. I've tried everything. I feel better for a few days after therapy, then after a few days I get obsessed and scared again. Help!

[nemo011]

Don't worry. Everything will be all right.. And engaging not in any relationship is better than to be in a relation with a narcissist.. There's famaous proverb in my native land(West Bengal, India) "dustu gorur cheye shunya goyal valo", it means "Better alone than in evil company"..
So don't worry, be happy..

[Love&Toil]

That's fine, keep avoiding his calls. You don't need to keep coming back for more when he is not respectful and is hurtful. You've already tried talking, confronting, breaking up, etc. He's just not going to be nice about it - keep your distance.

[themuna]

Sounds like he's putting himself first, and you probably need to put yourself first as well in this case. Your needs aren't being met and you have every right to end it.

[Bipolartist]

Thanks for the responses. These forums always help to make me feel stronger and get some perspective. So, do I just continue to ignore his calls and try this avoidance method (since I haven't tried this before)? I know if I try to explain that what he's doing upsets me, he's just going to freak out. I just feel he's going to get enraged no matter how I handle this. I've tried just blowing him off for a while, then answering a call here and there, but even that is upsetting me.

[Zulalives]

I've done a lot of research about narcissism lately and most articles suggest to go "no contact" in order to be free. It's difficult at first, but gets easier over time.

[nemo011]

I'll say you, to make evrythng clear in btwn both of u.. U should clearly tell him that, u don't want to listen from him or take his calls.. As I said before, "Better alone than in evil company".. ''Be strong, be bold'', u have the power.. Nthng to get upset.. Someone much better than the narcissist will find you and will understand u.. U r spcl, and someone very very special will care for u.. So just kick ur ex's @** and move forward...!
Don't worry.. Be happy...

[Love&Toil]

What is the benefit of answering his calls? So he gets to blast you? Is there any actual communication going on? Do you want him to understand where you are coming from? Is that actually going to happen?

I will blunt, They will never understand. It is like they have a mental retardation that keeps them at the age of a toddler. They CAN NOT understand. It is like telling your feeling to a child. A very young child. You wouldn't go in and expect pre-schoolers to give you support.

I have a very disordered family and have dated very disordered people. They do not understand and worse, they do not care. In fact, when you feel like crap, it makes them feel more together.

Now that I have been blunt, let me say. I know it takes time to ignore. And I make mistakes all the time. Just try your best to ignore him. I am sorry it hurts.

[Zulalives]

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

I will blunt, They will never understand. It is like they have a mental retardation that keeps them at the age of a toddler. They CAN NOT understand. It is like telling your feeling to a child. A very young child. You wouldn't go in and expect pre-schoolers to give you support.

I have a very disordered family and have dated very disordered people. They do not understand and worse, they do not care. In fact, when you feel like crap, it makes them feel more together.

Now that I have been blunt, let me say. I know it takes time to ignore. And I make mistakes all the time. Just try your best to ignore him. I am sorry it hurts.

Perfect answer and sooo true.

[Bipolartist]

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

I will blunt, They will never understand. It is like they have a mental retardation that keeps them at the age of a toddler. They CAN NOT understand. It is like telling your feeling to a child. A very young child. You wouldn't go in and expect pre-schoolers to give you support.

I have a very disordered family and have dated very disordered people. They do not understand and worse, they do not care. In fact, when you feel like crap, it makes them feel more together.

Now that I have been blunt, let me say. I know it takes time to ignore. And I make mistakes all the time. Just try your best to ignore him. I am sorry it hurts.

You are so right ValentinaVVV!! I'm not necessarily mad at him, I just feel nothing at this point. I truly believe he doesn't do what he's doing to be mean, he just does it by his nature and maturity level.

I'm going to take your advice ValentinaVVV and I'm done trying to rationalize with him. I think it's a case of arrested development or something. He's getting worse with age!

[marmaduke]

Good answer and exactly right. They will never understand.

Originally Posted by Bipolartist

You are so right ValentinaVVV!! I'm not necessarily mad at him, I just feel nothing at this point. I truly believe he doesn't do what he's doing to be mean, he just does it by his nature and maturity level.

I'm going to take your advice ValentinaVVV and I'm done trying to rationalize with him. I think it's a case of arrested development or something. He's getting worse with age!

Here is an example, I have told my parents I was bipolar 1 over and over and over and over again.

They do not want me on meds and hound me continuously and offer no support.

They do no care. They will never care.

[Bipolartist]

You guys have helped me so much. I haven't had any contact with him in a week now. It's hard to just let the phone ring, I get scared. But fear is no reason to continue a friendship. I feel like he's trying to blackmail me into being friends.

So, I'm trying to stay strong and just ignore his calls. I delete his voicemails, and I unfollwed him on Facebook so I don't see his endless selfies and angry posts.

I love getting feedback on this thread. Feel free to keep 'em coming