[scatterbrained04]

**TRIGGER WARNING**

School called today because my 9yo made a picture of him killing himself. He told them his life sucks. He was upset about something else that happened with another student. He did say he doesn't want to really hurt himself. It's like every time he gets upset he internalizes it. I feel so bad. I don't know what to do. Just venting.

[winter4me]

This is heart breaking. Do get help (if you haven't) for your son (and for you to help him, and you to talk about these feelings & ways to interrupt them)----------what is frightening is that the time between someone considering self harm, and engaging in the activity is brief-----
I would have an ongoing conversation with him about how he is feeling, and get him involved in some activities with others that he can feel GOOD about----
It is really difficult for a kid (or adult at times) to know that the "life sucks" feeling is not forever (even if it seems that way at the moment)---keeping a list of Good things/thoughts/can be helpful. And, of course, knowing that he can talk to you---keep him making pictures-----------he seems able to express his feelings this way.
Take good care. Many hugs((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))

[venusss]

Just to let you know, I had these thoughts as a child........ and one can outgrow it and learn to live a good life.

Not sure what to advice you... just provide him a comforting place at home and be there for him. This one pillar in his life needs to be there and be very stable. Everything else will follow.

[wiretwister]

remember family comes first...do what ever you have to keep them safe.

[Victoria'smom]

Because the school is involved get him to a therapist.

[BipolaRNurse]

I feel for your son, I really do. I was 10 when I first began thinking about suicide, only I never told anyone about it and just suffered because I knew no one would listen. Thankfully times have changed and people aren't as tight-lipped about these matters as they were a couple of generations ago. The fact that your son is communicating about it is a good thing.....you can't help him if you don't know he's hurting.

I hope and pray that your son receives the help he needs and that he'll be OK. Prayers for you as well. ((((HUGS))))

[sleepless0515]

This is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. Sending good vibes your way....

[scatterbrained04]

Thanks, everyone. I may have to try therapy with him again. He had stopped making these comments for awhile, and I thought things were getting better. We were both seeing the same therapist, but he retired. I need to try to get him to open up and find out what is really going on. He didn't seem to want to talk about it yesterday.

[Victoria'smom]

It may not be something he can put words to. I really suggest a child therapist separate from yours as he may not want to get into trouble.

[Nammu]

I feel for you.

Have you considered an art therapist? They can help children express their feelings though many different mediums of art. Or a child therapist who uses play therapy to help them express the feelings inside of them.

[scatterbrained04]

He kind of has art therapy at school. It's separate fron his normal art. Will have to start looking for a new therapist for him. He threatened to harm someone today. He was doing really really well for several months So much worse to watch him go through this than it is to be the one going through it.

[ombrétwilight]

My heart goes out to you. One of my 6th grade students told me she tried to strangle herself 2 years ago and I talked to her about it. Not sure how much it helped though. You may want to send your son to the school counsellor if he'/she is not already involved and also, time to have a HTHT with him.

[Nammu]

That is so hard. It's such heartbreak to be a parent and watch a child suffering.

[pipp]

i have a good bit of experience getting this very wrong, and later, very right...

therapy...right now, asap...school counselor should be integrated as a safety net while he is in school if he hits a rough patch while he is there, but school therapists are not equipped to handle a situation like this well...

also, i think it is very important to fill up his time with things that are self-affirming and esteem-boosting...a sport or other extra curricular activity that is non-competitive is a really helpful outlet...gymnastics (recital-driven, rather than competitive), swimming lessons, 4H (which is not the 4H from way back...a lot of sciences represented now), etc...

but regular...built into his weekly schedule so he has it to look forward to week to week...

and it will be up to the therapist as to how best implement, but i like mood journals for kids...

some therapists balk at it, feel it promotes aggression, but we also have a heavy bag (boxing)...when things get really tight, that can help, to 'punch it out'

i have made use of all these techniques and it has been a big help...good luck!

[scatterbrained04]

He goes to a behavioral school, so the support is already there. The current staff is good with him.

We've had difficulty with after school activities. First, I have almost no money to spend on them. Second, he's not interested in doing very many things.

We did scouting for about a year or so. He lost interest, and the meetings became too late when he moved schools (has to get up 2 hours earlier now).

He's expressed some interest in wrestling and martial arts. I'm a little hesitant though (and it's not just the money).

[Victoria'smom]

martial arts really helped my son.

[pipp]

for martial arts, boxing and the like...all you need are gloves and a bag...i got a heavy bag throough freecycle, so that cost me nothing...its a great resource when funds are tight...

for extracurriculars, i do the YMCA....they have scholarships for kids that will cover membership dues...

and Boys and Girls club is crazy reasonable...i had lil diva in it for a year...cost?...35.00...that covered her attending 2 hrs per day, 4 days per week...

4H is free...its really become an amazing program and you do not have to raise animals anymore to participate...they do aeronautics and robotics and climate change sciences and solar and other renewable energy...amazing...

[scatterbrained04]

Good day today!

I really appreciate the support and suggestions.

Pipp, those are some good suggestions of lower cost activities. I have a membership to the YMCA, and we never use it. I should see what is available for him that he may like. I had forgotten about it.

[pipp]

oh if you have a membership there is half the battle right there...the YMCA rocks...

diva does gymnastics, which costs me 25 per 4wk session and 40 per 7wk session (dance is similar) for a total of 15wks in a cycle with a big recital type show at the end (2 of those a year)

swim lessons, once per week for a 7wk session is 45pr session...

so if the membership is already covered, its just a matter of finding activities that you can fit in the budget and what i like about it is that you can cast around, let him try different things, see what fits him best...then concentrate funding there and let him skills build

i assume there are other things like free swim during open to the public hours at the pool...we have a full gym turned over to the bounce house center and a games room, plus open court times to shoot hoops...

yeah check that out and see what 4H might have that he might be interested in...we got turned onto it through an open house they held here awhile back...i was amazed...diva got into it for the robotics club...didn't cost a thing...meetings are not constant either...its a lot of self driven project, with the team/club coming together for ideas on how to advance as a group, help each other out troubleshooting, etc..

[scatterbrained04]

Well my son just got all excited. They have NERF tag for 4wks, and it's only $12. It's not at the closest location to me, but it's on the weekend. I just may register him for that one.

Forgot about the community center by me too. They have some art, music, and martial arts classes. The clay classes are free! No membership fees just $1 per person for a year pass.

I think I may take the advice to get him involved in stuff. The kid is bored. We live in an apartment so it makes outside play harder. We go to the park a lot though.

[pipp]

yay!....i am really glad you found something he is excited about...as a long time parent, i have to say, my experience is that boredom is the enemy...and when it is skills building stuff, that is esteem building too...

good luck to both of you and have fun!