[8thstreetbungalow]

So while i thought the cops were manipulating my world i started to try to change my actions how i walked where i walked to what i did and i thought i could predict the future. I began to grow a delusion of being a creative genius. I would run into problems then research on my own how to solve them then try to solve them. Then i started to think that facebook was sending me messages to control my life, television, people on the street. I began to isolate myself stop using social media stop playing video games stop listening to the radio. I would just sit in my room, by myself until i had to work. THen at work i turned the workplace around from my actions pitting people against eachother because i thought someone was a sociopath and out to get me. Everytime i got scared i would just pin it somewhere else and get highly worked up and go to management. I sent a complaint up management that they were trying to do all these negative things to me because of my brothers illness. When i worked people would call me a genius, but i didn't know what to believe. I started to think my co-workers didn't even exist. Weird things at work would happen like management would move tables after i arranged them myself out of place and make it look disorganized after i organized everything. Then management would say im not allowed in the workplace on certain days in panicing voices. I shook hands with a guy in a suit for another company and he said "your doing evil things here". Pretty soon i was shaking hands with people in the military congratulating me on my work. I started to get very scared and doubt existence of everything. I didn't know what to believe who to believe and i would begin to ask other people if things actually happened. Then people started asking me questions while i worked like "do you see that security camera there" when there was no security camera. I began to think everyone in the world was on to my genius and testing me for insanity. So i would play along and try to prove every single tiny test the world had for me to check my insanity. Everywhere i went every person i met was in on it and i had to be on my A game. Even my university. Then i began to uncontrollably laugh and cry. I realized something was wrong then and reached out to someone for help. I ended up getting convicted of harassment and brought into mental health care through a court order.

It took me 7 years to "recover" from this. I still have not. This happened in 2008, I have done intensive therapy and still try everyday to progress as a functioning human being. I had periods in time where I tried juggling knives because I thought I was a creative genius. (I cant juggle)

[pipp]

its a process...take heart in the progress you've made...i know sometimes i lose sight of that part when i have setbacks...thank you for sharing..

[CANDC]

Sorry to hear you have been through some very traumatic situations. It must have been difficult when other people were not supportive, and could have been obstructive.

Unfortunately other people are not all compassionate human beings and do not always hold our best interests at heart. If you could find a compassionate therapist that specializes in your areas of challenge, then could be a bridge to a stable life.

If you are on meds, keep in touch with your psychiatrist if your moods alter, especially if they change the meds.

Many people find compassionate, caring people here at PC. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

There are articles that go into more detail about coping
Psych Central - Search results for Understanding parental abuse

Please feel free to private message any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[TIGGER_]

(((8th)))

[Crazy Hitch]

Thank you for sharing your story with us (((8th)))

Yeah, it's been hard for you.

Hang out with us on this forum.

We're happy to listen to you anytime.

[ChaoticSymphony]

It's a sad day when you realize you can't trust your own instincts. My heart goes out to you. Also congrats on recovering.