[Malikeo]

I've had my Bipolar 1 Diagnosis for about 2 1/2 years now. Staying on my meds has always been a struggle for me. I take abilify, I went from 5mg to 20mg (10, then 15, now 20) after I had a pretty scary manic episode.

The medicine makes me incredibly fatigued, I have no energy to workout, I only leave my bed to go to work. I was also incredibly depressed.

I stopped my meds about 2 weeks ago and I finally feel "better". I'm working out every day. I'm not nearly as depressed. I have been getting angry a lot quicker. That's the only downside i've seen so far.

I do realize that by being unmediated I risk, hurting myself, ruining friendships, and possibly being hospitalized again (I've done one round of inpatient, and one round of outpatient therapy). But, I feel like that's a risk I want to take. The mania feels so good, and without it i'm just "regular".

[gayleggg]

We each have to decide what is best for ourselves. Medication isn't for everyone. Many people choose to manage their bipolar disorder by other methods. Sounds like you are doing what you need to do. There are always risks even for people that aren't affected by bipolar.

[intergalactictraveler]

I've told me story many times on here. I'm now 64 and have treatment resistant ultra rapid cycling/mixed state and oh how I wish I could find a medication I could reasonably tolerate to stop the endless cycling, restore my sleep and my overall health.

Perhaps for a minority of people, and a tiny minority at that, being med free is better than being on meds. But here is a cautionary tale: Phyllis Hyman was an African-American jazz singer back in the 80s and 90s. Beautiful, talented, smart...and bipolar. She tried medications but she didn't like the way they made her feel. She eventually went med free, telling friends and her manager that she could handle the illness. She ultimately killed herself.

This year, my wife(retired)and I(on SSDI) spent the winter in Florida. I was brought up here and love it, but the endless sunshine, warmth and high pollen, upended my mood and sleep, culminating, about two months ago, with me sleeping about four hours a night, then even less, which brought about hallucinations and a strong suicidal urge. My pdoc in Maryland called in various meds to get me to sleep but nothing worked and I had to go back on dreaded Klonopin. I slept and I was pulled back from the brink. The message: Bipolar is a serious illness. It's your life. Don't play Russian Roulette.