[chinese-monkey]

Hello forum,
I am a 23 year old female
I have a doc appointment tomorrow, where hopefully they will refer me to a Pdoc and I can be diagnosed.
This idea that I might be on the bipolar spectrum came about after I developed PTSD in conjunction to the amount of similarities my and my performance director have; for months i've been brushing it off as coincidence that we think i'm such a similar way- generally 5 thoughts at a time, with inflated ego, and both of us literally striving to achieve the physically impossible/improbable.However, when a therapist told me that I would have to be diagnosed before they could work with me, due to the fact I felt like this PTSD enhanced traits with I got worried.

Almost by chance I have been studying rhythm with my director, mostly in movement but we have touched on emotions. For my theatre work I will generally look into psychology, and it was here I discovered more about my directors condition (bipolar) and it was like reading a character description for myself... the late night writing about the world (which i've done since a teenager at least) the over spending, the irritation and hyperactivity. Then those days where I am being stalked by a tiny violin player (no need for details there)... even the acrobatic skill we have been working on could be classed as a trait in itself (masochistic, my approach to it is reckless with little consideration to pain or injury, the fact I am self taught in such a demanding discipline)

I know no one here can tell me a diagnosis. That I will have to wait for. But I am wondering how to make the waiting easier? How do I stop evaluating every action, thought and feeling, because now i've thought about it, I can't seem to drop it very easily.

I am sorry for this post, if it is out of line in any way shape or form. Its just I don't feel like I can speak to anyone right now, and in the UK we wait a long time to be treated (NHS being underfunded) I am too scared to speak with my director, because what if I am wrong and come off as insulting to her? I wouldn't want to upset her in any way because I really care for her. Hence I am here, trawling a forum in search of methods for peace of mind, i don't think a standard Doc will know how to inform me on keeping myself calm.

Thanks

Chinese Monkey

[CANDC]

Welcome to Psych Central (PC) chinese monkey; thank you for sharing your story. Sorry to hear you have been suffering from Bipolar

Some people at PC will find a therapist will also help them sort out the roots of their life when things are out of control.

If you are feeling isolated you could become an active member of the Psych Central community with an anonymous name and PLACE (you can change that to UK if you want in your profile) so you can talk freely in a way that will not jeopardize your job and you might feel less isolated and part of a community.

Getting sleep may be the single one thing that keeps me in balance. If you are not sleeping try some forms of relaxation or mindfulness practice. I find that mindfulness (meditation without the religion) and breath awareness help me cope with stress.

Many people find compassionate, caring people here at PC. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.
What is Loving Self-Care | In Your Own Hands

[Nammu]

Welcome. How did your appointment go? You can get support here.