[Welder]

Hi I haven't been in here for a while so some of you may not remember me.
I am manic depressive, Adult ADD and a brain injury from a stroke.
I can't do the things I used to and it takes a longtime for me to get things done. I don't work outside the home, but I am doing DIY projects on our house.
My wife who I've been married to for 25 years this year is a wonderful women with a good heart but she has grown very bitter with me. I don't think she loves me anymore. We have two daugthers 14 & 10 who she loves very much and are the joy of our lives. She shows love toward my daugthers, tells them she loves them but doesn't ever show me any affection, but we do have sex once in a while.
Four years ago while in mania I miss spent alot of money and she can't forgive me for it and is constantly holding it over my head. I feel very sorry for this and have told her my regrets many times over. I have been through some job losses, a failed attempt to move out of state for a very good job and send for my family later, but then had to come back home and try to rebuild. It has been trouble ever since and it's a 1 1/2 later.
I'm on disability and she has a hard time with the fact I can't take care of the family. In general she holds a grudge and doesn't easily forgive but that's always been that way.
She has always had to vent her feelings on me and thats ok to a point but she has almost gotten to the point she can't stand the sight of me. She has told me looking at me makes mad and reminds her of what I did (the $) The girls for the most part to live normal lives but I just can't take her anymore. I am on meds and we both have seperate therispt's. It looks like we are heading for divorce. I love her very much.
I don't know what to do....

[Nammu]

Can you ask her to see a seperate family therapist? One that neither of you know. One who's focus would be to help you both communicate with each other. It might not help stop a divorce but it should help you both communicate more effectively and make what ever happens much easier on the kids.

[ferncoco]

maybe she is just a little stressed and worn out from being a mom, homemaker and caregiver to you? would it be possible for someone else in your family to help out at your home a few days and your wife get a few days away? does your 14yr old pitch in at home? even somewhere close like a nice hotel or at a girlfriends house or something might refresh your wife. I find people in my life get burned out on me and need a break sometimes. Hang in there, you have been dealing with a lot too!

[lunaticfringe]

I think couple's therapy would be a good thing for you guys, as well as some more open communication. It sounds like there is a lot going unsaid. Don't give up on your marriage, maybe the two of you can come to a compromise.

[Dieses Madchen]

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling. I wish I had advice for you, but I am going through something similar with my spouse. As long as communication stays open, yall will find a middle ground.

[Crazy Hitch]

((((((Welder)))))

I'm sorry it's taken such a toll that it's reached this point.

Resentment can be a really hard thing to let go of and it's really difficult for one to find peace after an aftermath.

We are human.

We make mistakes through bad choices.

But we are still good people.

We merely had a slight error in judgment.

And unfortunately in your context; you know that we are not free of the consequences of our choices.

What's done is done.

Let it be.

You're not finished until it's done. I don't believe your relationship is done.

You may find this article worth the read.

It provides strategies one may choose to use when at the current stand off you're at.

You're at check mate.

So who's move is next?

You decide.

How to Know When to Call It Quits in Your Relationship