[BeyondtheRainbow]

I have an almost 20 year old cat. She supposedly has endstage kidney failure but I question that since all the symptoms went away when she went on a grain free diet. She wasn't supposed to live much more than a few months last June and instead she's gained 2 lbs and has been great.

I just picked her up from her bed and sometime in the last few days she has pulled all the hair out on her belly. She did this before when I was hospitalized the last time and then again in the first few weeks after I got home. Then they said it was anxiety or her kidneys and treated for anxiety since that would help either way. She's not had anxiety meds in a couple years.

I know she is very sensitive to my moods; she's spent her whole life with an unstable bipolar owner and she just knows. And it seems like my not doing well has been so stressful for her that it has caused this huge bald area where she pulled the hair out.

I hate this so much and can't do anything until Monday and that's tricky because I have therapy and that's an hour and 15 minutes away. So I have to count on getting in to the vet earlier or later. And there's nothing I can do until she sees the vet.

This blows the last of my money for this month. I knew she probably had a urinary infection and planned to take her Tuesday and that's not a horribly expensive visit b/c we do it frequently but this will be more. And I hate that things come down to money but they do and in this case money is just stressful. It always is but I had to take her in for a urinary infection last month and my other cat nearly died of pancreatitis so he ran up a huge vet bill that I'm paying off. This won't be enough to qualify for that plan so I'll have to either borrow it from my mother or put it on a credit card.

It seems like something always has to be hard. I know that's my mood speaking but I'm pretty sure this wouldn't have happened if it weren't for me being so manic. And maybe I'd have noticed sooner if I weren't. we could have gone in today....

And if it's not the stress in this house that means bad things for her kidneys and I'm not ready to lose her.

This does explain the hairballs she's thrown up lately.

And this is too much to think about this time of night....

I liked it better 15 minutes ago when my worst problem was laundry that the musty smell won't come out of and I keep forgetting baking soda.

[Standup2me]

Our pets are our children
I am sending you and your baby good thoughts

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Thank you. She is like my child. I've had her almost half my life and take great pride that she is healthy and living happily (albeit without any hearing) a year after a death sentence. I feel so guilty that it actually got a few tears, not usual with mania. I feel even worse b/c I knew she had UTI signs but they weren't very clear and I was waiting until Tuesday to take her in (she has to get antibiotic shots b/c the liquids make her throw up blood). And then I read a vet's site where they said the most common cause of doing this is bladder pain. So not only didn't I notice her do this, and I ignored all the hairballs that are so rare for her, I also apparently ignored that she was in pain. She wasn't doing her usual bladder infection thing, I thought the few times she peed outside the box were confusion which she gets at times. Nope, I ignored things I would have paid more attention to if I weren't so manic and now she's sore and will have to have extra meds besides the antibiotic probably and also I'll probably have to get up and try to take her in early to be sure we make it on therapy day. Ugh.

I hate when I miss things and can't know if it is mania or something impossible to have noticed. I know when she did this before it was a huge surprise both times so logically I know it probably wasn't noticeable but still...I am supposed to look out for her.

Poor old thing.

[tentoedsloth]

I'm sorry for you and your cat. I know from experience how much a person can love the furry little purrballs.

That she's lived for 20 years is evidence that you've taken good care of her, even with your problems--impressive!

Then the money and time shortage making it worse....

All I can say is to repeat, Good Job of taking care of your pet.