[HALLIEBETH87]

I'm exhausted but I got ten hours of sleep last night. I have an inner boredom but just don't want to do anything. I've been battling intense and insistent anxiety for days now. I talked about it with T today. I've been trying different DBT skill I've learned but nothing seems to help. I don't have a prn for anxiety anymore and I hate that. I don't like the desire I have for a prn but nothing else is helping. I don't see pdoc for a month or see t/go to DBT group for two weeks cause office is closed next week.

I don't want to assume this is bipolar related but I can't find a cause for these feelings or a way to fix it. I can do phone coaching with my DBT t but I'm not sure what point I should call. I'm not there yet.

I'm tired of this roller coaster.

[christinasvdp]

I can't tell you much, except that I have been there and what has helped for me is just trying to distract myself at any cost. Even if it is by counting the cracks on the wall, I'll get through the day. But I know what you mean when you say nothing seems to help--just time can help, though I know how hard it is for it to pass sometimes.

[HALLIEBETH87]

YeH, ty.

It doesn't help it's hot here and our AC isn't on so I sit here and just sweat. Kind of makes a little grumpy at times.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Could you ask for hydroxyzine for anxiety? It's not a benzo so it's not addictive and is pretty safe; I think you mentioned they weren't likely to approve a benzo right now. I used to take it when I was working (although I took ativan or klonopin as well at night) and I liked it because I could get a really small dose pill (10 mg I think) and take as many as I needed and I could go up to quite a few if I needed or just take a little if that was all there was and that worked perfectly with keeping me alert but not anxious. I think I was allowed to go to 50-80 mg during the day based on how I felt (in 2 doses) and then I had a set bedtime dose.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I don't see my pdoc for a month. I just had to stop taking Latuda Tuesday. I was on it for three weeks then akathisia hit and it was HORRiBLE-the worst I've gone through!

Even T said today he thought maybe the Latuda was helping while i was in it. I thought so too.

I'll just keep trying stuff. I did cook tonight even though I didn't want to.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Akathesia is horrible. I've had it several times and the last one landed me IP. That one was bizarre because it happened from a drug given in surgery. We guessed what was likely but I fear anesthesia anyway. I'd also had a chicken pox shot and can't have the 2nd one in case that was the cause so I can potentially catch chicken pox in middle age thanks to akathesia and a weird immune system.

The saddest thing is when drugs you like and that help cause problems. I love risperidone but it causes hypertension even at tiny doses. In all the pictures from my sister's wedding I look like a blimp in an ill-fitting bridesmaids' dress that had been fitted days before the wedding because my blood pressure was so high that I had 30 lbs of fluid on me. I was sure that was THE drug b/c it helped at a low dose.

I'm so sorry you have to go through that awful sensation and that the good med didn't work out. You can always call and ask about something for anxiety; they shouldn't be surprised with akathesia.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I don't wanna seem needy. I can call and get phone coaching from DBT t but I'll only do that if things are out of control

[BeyondtheRainbow]

But it's ok to be needy. Your pdoc put you on Latuda because he thought you needed it. It failed you so reaching out for something to help you while your body adjusts to that loss is not being needy, it's just asking for help which is why the pdoc is there. Just because the Latuda didn't work out doesn't mean you don't need a medication to deal with those symptoms or at least to help you get through the akathesia until you see him in a month and can maybe get onto something that replaces Latuda. They expect that kind of call; it's part of their job.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I take zyprexa-the Latuda was gonna replace it but he said to keep taking that. It controls the paranoia and helps with irritability.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

It's still ok to call. I hate doing it too (and fortunately have my psychiatrist's email which gets her about 20% of the time unless I made the subject all urgent which I am generally too embarrassed to do but email is easier than calling) but still, your body is going through a lot with the akathesia and the sudden change in chemistry. That's enough reason to call. It's probably not enough to call in the middle of the night or something but to call during the work day and leave a message explaining how you feel, can you take anything for that, they are used to that and should invite it.