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#1
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I bought a pearl ring. I've been wanting one. The one I was getting was gorgeous and cost over $100 (which is a lot to me) but I blew getting that one by spending so much money. I wasn't supposed to get a birthday or mother's day present because of all my spending but then my husband told me if I could find one for the right price, I could get it. I did better than the right price, I bought a J Crew pearl ring for next to nothing, for what it is, used but in mint condition on ebay. I really love Ebay and I really like the high that comes from buying stuff. Sometimes I wonder if I am just pretending. How can I really have Bipolar Disorder? I just want to sleep all the time. Tonight, tomorrow morning, tomorrow afternoon, tomorrow evening, sleep sleep sleep. Never mind my toddler or that I'm babysitting my niece and nephew so I will have a total of 5 kids here. In fact, I want to sleep so badly, this probably doesn't make sense. I need to go to sleep but I am fighting so hard for some reason. It's like something bad will happen if I lay down to go to sleep. And, I am listening to music to make me cry. I just want to be alone. I just want to be alone with my sorrow. I want to throw things because I am angry that I'm feeling this way. I was just here. I hate my ****ing pdoc. I hope this one is better but I feel like there is no way. I feel like this/I am a lost cause. I'm not really sure why I'm writing this. It's just another one of those nights, after a good day, mind you. And I can barely keep my tear filled eyes open. I can barely keep my dejected head from falling. But, here I am, writing away. So, on that note, I will leave you. I will curl, mascara covered face, and pray for short lived misery.
Fuel - Sunburn
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
![]() jacky8807, wildflowerchild25
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#2
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#3
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Hugs for you. Depression sucks. But you are not a lost cause. Something will make you feel better someday. I promise.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
#4
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i know you have a lot going on in the family life department but i really think you could do well with inpatient. Things have been up and down for a while and sometimes we just really need it to get back on track
sorry you are going through this ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
#5
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#6
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I relate to the whole dang thing. Even the mascara covered face. I never take mine off anyway. And five kids! Holy **** man. You are incredible that you are doing it. Seriously I have been there exactly where you are. I am almost there every other day right now as it is with my weird mild cycling right now. Hugs. Just hang in there. I wanna be your friend! Seriously? FIVE kids? Dude |
#7
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How bout this one
You can do this. You can get through this. We have to We are ****ing warriors! |
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