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#1
Jun 15, 2015, 07:36 PM
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Every day is controlled by other ppl telling me what to do..I have decisions made for me..where I live..when I can drive to get groceries..when I housesit for mom..when I can stay home..what activities my son do..today I had to tear down my flower garden cuz ma says there is no room for it where she is moving me to Fri cuz she planted bushes all over..that was my only hobby..I feel like I am 10..I want to get a med that makes me emotionally numb..unable to care about anything and allows me to sleep day and night every day..any suggestions? No weight gain plz.
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Bipolar 1 Borderline Personality Disorder Generalized Anxiety Disprder *no meds currently 
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 Capriciousness, cloudyn808, Crazy Hitch, UpDownMiddleGround, Victoria'smom, wiretwister
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#2
Jun 15, 2015, 07:58 PM
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I am just emotionally dead today.
So being "numb" isn't necessarily a good thing. You may want it when you don't have it. But when you have it it sucks. |
 cloudyn808, raspberrytorte
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#3
Jun 15, 2015, 08:00 PM
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You sound a little down , maybe even depressed , could you maybe have a few pots you could plant and tend ... no meds , I am impressed.. do you have a t.. or a good friend you could spend some quality time with ... kinda get out of the house kind of thing ...
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#4
Jun 15, 2015, 08:25 PM
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No..not allowed to leave..no friends..every trip has to be okayed by ma an dad and I have no money..they leave me here broke. I am giving up..lost any kind of hope..just want to be n a coma..or zombiefied so I can't feel sadness an pain.
__________________
Bipolar 1 Borderline Personality Disorder Generalized Anxiety Disprder *no meds currently
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| Crazy Hitch
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#5
Jun 15, 2015, 08:43 PM
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I know what you mean by lost any kind of hope - it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when we feel this way; as easy as it is for me to say it will get better; slowly; it's hard to see this for yourself when you're stuck in a place where you are.
Coma/zombie - yes there are pretty good descriptors for explaining where you're at right now. I wish your pain would ease. 
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#6
Jun 15, 2015, 08:45 PM
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do you have a t or a pdoc ... ? Might be time to reach out to them ... never give up there is always hope even if you don't see it now ...
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#7
Jun 15, 2015, 09:14 PM
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It don't matter..I give up..there is no hope..I'm just waiting to die..my life is over..imma just sleep the days away till one day I die..
__________________
Bipolar 1 Borderline Personality Disorder Generalized Anxiety Disprder *no meds currently
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#8
Jun 15, 2015, 09:17 PM
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I know that feeling. The numbness is sucky in the long run. You are never truly numb. You see it, you feel the heat from the fire, but can't access it. thrilling at first but then misery inducing.
You should talk to your psychiatrist about your medications. getting drug advice online is not what PC is for. |
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#9
Jun 21, 2015, 10:38 PM
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I can totally relate to you, OP, like just about completely. Having intense and negative emotions and being so full of negative energy all the time, while having no independence and no control. It's like what is the ****ing point. Of having all of this emotional energy. It's just like being tortured for no reason. And I also frequently have the desire for it to just be gone, to feel nothing. I resent it.
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#10
Jun 21, 2015, 10:44 PM
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As others have pointed out, I don't think emotionally numb would be all it's cracked up to be. I mean, what's the point of living if you're numb all the time?
I've personally never been emotionally numb. My emotions are so volatile, even on medication. But I don't want to be numb.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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#11
Jun 22, 2015, 12:56 AM
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How are you today irritable4life?
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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