[Miss Laura]

Hi guys,

Once again I have stopped my meds and I am not really 100% if I am being honest.

Okay hold my hands up....... I AM OFF MY MEDS!! I take Depakote 500mg and Quentinpine AKA Serequol 50mg (AM), Depakote 500mg/ Quentinpine XR 150mg and Quentinpine 75mg (PM) and PRN 50mg Quentinpine

I stopped them over 2 weeks ago and I don't really want to go back on them. I saw my Psychiatrist 25th May and he said I was a stable and that he would not change my meds..... TBH I never actually spoke to him he asked me questions and I responded and I was out within 15 mins. Just the way I like it tbh! Today I saw my Community Worker and I had some BIG news to tell her (I might have a job) I have been out of work for 4 years and I have been volunteering for 3 years as a Youth Worker.... I am also their Volunteer Co-Ordinatior and on their Board too but I do not get paid. The project I work in has an opening for a WORKER and my old boss has put in a good word for me and the woman she spoke to likes me so there is scope there. I am so RELIEVED to maybe working FULL TIME for the project which would see me working with children, their families in their schools and out in the community. Plus I would be earning £17,000 a year POSSIBLY! This is more than any job I have done so this is enticing me more tbh.

Last week I had a melt down as my Support Worker from Drama-Therapy left and I honestly was an emotional wreck.... turns out I AM ILL!!! I apparently was speed talking today and am more "happy" than I normally am. Now she is taking into consideration that the job is a MASSIVE thing for me but my Community Worker is stressing that I will end up in crisis if I am not careful. I was with her for 2 hours its normally only an hour and I was really grateful to her for allowing me to just blether.

I don't know how I can stay on my meds, I have alarms set and I have a note in my phone saying UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO I STOP MY MEDS..... This is not helping me at all

Any wise words you guys can give me or any help what so ever would be great

Thanks!

[CopperStar]

You seem to have a soft spot in your heart for children. Are you willing to take your medications for them? So that you can be there for them and be a positive part of their life? A lot of them probably need someone like you in their life. I sure as hell did when I was growing up.

[Crazy Hitch]

I've been where you are .... I stopped my meds once too ... and honestly? It did not end well for me ...

The things is, certain meds will cause very abrupt withdrawal symptoms, not only psychologically, but phsyically too.

And for some meds, if you're considering going back on them, they need to be tapered from the beginning again in increments going up, so you'd still need your pdoc's input.

Regardless of what transpires, may it be the decision that serves your own mental health well in the long run.

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

Any wise words you guys can give me or any help what so ever would be great

Get back on your meds and schedule an immediate consultation with your psychiatrist. You want to be cool and consistent for this new job, and you could lose your chance if your performance is compromised by mania and subsequent depression. I've been there and done that and it hurt bad.

[Miss Laura]

Hi guys,

Thank you so much CopperStar that was so nice of you to say. I said that to my Community Worker I need to be sane working with them I can't be crazy. I need stability. Hooligan, I have stopped a day started my meds so many times its unreal. My CPN says I'm A TYPICAL Bipolarer as it's a symptom. He knows I go on and off them and I know it messes with my brain, the chemicals and moods. I do know thus I just can't implement my thoughts to be rational. Ironic thing is my job use to be MAKING SURE MY SERVICE USERS TOOK THEIR MEDS why can't I do it for myself?

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[Miss Laura]

Thanks Lefty The Salesman, I know your right I have taken my meds away to take my bedtime meds. I need to see what my CPN says I think he is calling me tomorrow. I have never met the Psychiatrist he is new but my Worker wanted to speak to him today/tomorrow so we'll see

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[~Christina]

Just take it day by day

I stopped mine cold turkey and it was horrible. Withdrawal, mania, depression, months of hell.

Go back on them.

[Keegan2015]

I stopped my meds recently too. I felt like I was better, but I still couldn't hold a job.

[Crazy Hitch]

Hope you get this med thing sorted in the long run

Awwww, Miss Laura... Whatcha doin'? (Imagine me now as a dog, head tilted to one side inquisitively. Where's THAT emoticon when you need it? )
I want to see you well, you know, you're such a sweetie.
I won't say one way or the other, but...it would be good to reflect on how that's gone in the past for you..
I think CopperStar's onto something -- sometimes it's more motivating to do something for others than it is for ourselves. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, but it's at least solidly worthy of considering.

[Miss Laura]

Thanks Inner!

I took my meds last night and I tool my meds this morning. I feel so tired at the moment. I still haven't received a call from my CPN so I'm guessing I won't here from him until I see him next week or the week after. Trying to act normal in front of everyone

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[Moogieotter]

Depo Shots! nom nom!

[Miss Laura]

I haven't spoken to anyone since I first posted. My CPN or Psychiatrist have not been in contact. I'm hoping they don't contact me until I see my CPN on Tues. I have been taking my meds though albeit later due to drinking alcohol

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[wiretwister]

I am alway afraid my meds will not work if I go off and back on them ... the combo I have now is working fine and for once I have no intention of messing with that ....

Glad you are taking them.

[~Christina]

Im glad your taking them...

[HolisticGal]

I was recently contemplating the same but I chose to stay on my low dose of meds. I don't think it has to be ALL or NOTHING. If your on a low dose with tolerable side effects, stick to it.

I do it for my parents and kitties' sake.

I can't afford to lose my mind any further.