[HALLIEBETH87]

I've gone through Many different diagnoses throughout the years. I've gotten bipolar 2 rapid cycling, bipolar 1 and mood disorder nos.

I'm annoyed because I just want to know my real dx. At first my psychologist said he thinks I have bp1 rapid cycling. My pdoc right now has in my chart mood disorder nos. now my psychologist says he thinks bp2 rapid cycling with possible mixed episodes. I've been ip a couple times since December-one for hypomania and other for mixed episode.

I just want to know my dx. It's not my identity if course but I want them to figure it out and agree so I finally know. My last pdoc said rapid cycling and I know that part is true. I hate that people say bp2 is a lighter version because to me it's all just hell. Psychologist says he thinks I dip into hypomania but I can still function. He says it keeps me from working but I can still do what I want. I say I do get depressions though where I'm bed bound and can't function.

Sorry for rambling. I just want to know. Of course, I've only seen pdoc a few times and I see psyd every week-he knows me better.

[kaliope]

ive always wondered the difference between bipolar 1 and 2. i saw that my pdoc recently noted bipolar 1 so i asked my phd what the difference was. she said that with 1 you have full blown mania which isnt there with 2. hope that helps.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I get that but I just want to understand what they say my illness is. It's confusing when it's different. I hate when people say bp2 is bp light. I don't think so

[~Christina]

BP 2 isn't any less dangerous for the person. This has been argued and content of many many threads over the years I have been here. I really do not understand whats so hard for people to grasp about it.

Hypos can cause just has much financial ruin due to spending, Risky behavior and poor judgement. "Typically" BP 2 has more and often longer depressions so it increases risk of suicide.

I think the waters get very muddied at times when a person isn't a cut and dry fit right into a slot on the DSM. A change in providers can certainly shake up the diagnosis/label

I do think your Psychologist is going to be the one to narrow down your Diagnosis. Sure Pdocs "usually" make the call, but T's spend more time and can see patterns and specific behaviors clearer, sooner.

So here is me.... playing armchair Pdoc and fabulous T

I agree it is obvious right now your are rapid cycling, Meaning more than 4 distinct episodes a year ( no duh , right ?). I think you drop down into mixed pretty often then pop into either Hypo or depression with in a few weeks. So your all over the place. Wash Rinse Repeat! Sure it could be a medication issue, maybe haven't found a good balance(yet)? I see some traits of BPD but Hey! most all Bipolar's have traits ( I do!) So, combine a ever present swing up, down and a good shake in the middle... "Mixed rapid cycling BP1 with a side of Paranoia (possible psychosis induced )most often hitting right before and after a hypo" I say BP 1 because based off history I do believe you have been full blown Manic in the past.......There! I won't send you a bill

I do think your certainly on the Bipolar spectrum. MMD just doesn't cover your symptoms. Your seeing your T weekly and you know I think hes wonderful ! Your journaling, Your still working on finding a medication treatment that is helping and your able and willing to tolerate, Your in DBT and your taking feedback from people that know you well enough to have a outsiders opinion. I think all that combined is going to help you get a diagnosis that fits.

Meanwhile? Ahhh "try" to focus on symptoms, Yes much easier said that done..lol You know how that goes

[HALLIEBETH87]

You know I totally value your opinion ~Christina cause I think you know me even better than Matt! lol Hes super smart and knows me way better than my Pdoc (I've only seen him a few times...in depression and hypo.) I spent $300 in one week when I was hypo at the beginning of this month. My pdoc/psyd office are still using DSM-IV. Matt said hes going to talk to pdoc about my dx anyway. Can't psyd dx too? I thought so anyway.

Matt said he probably has M/D NOS because the jury is still out for pdoc on what my dx really is. I understand Pdoc's perspective is medical to just treat symptoms but you know it drives me crazy when they don't align. I know I have BPD symptoms... but I still argue I don't have the D/O and Matt says so too!

I wondered where my paranoia fits in...I tend to notice it happens before or during hypomania. I didn't have it until this past fall and a few times since then! (You know my history!) Ive told you my mania stories and theyre totally wacked! ha! Most of the time when Im super up..I don't really remember much. Its all blurry (happen to anyone else??)

Thanks for you replies, all! Im trying to be a better person. Ya know..neurotypical (or TP, ~Christina!)

[~Christina]

Yep Neurotypical Bwhahhahah

[HALLIEBETH87]

YES!!! NT freaks.

[~Christina]

I honestly don't know how people survive with so few thoughts at one time

[cashart10]

I'm anxious to reply to this. In part, to recognize that at least from my perspective our relationship is still friendly, I will share my thoughts. Well, these actually are not my thoughts, I've heard them from someone else on this site I just can't remember who. Anyway , sometimes it's good for a pdoc to wait on the diagnosis because you know that they are cautious and closely observing you. This could be a blessing on disguise.

[raspberrytorte]

I don't think bp2 is a lighter form. Depressions still suck.

You'll get the right diagnosis eventually. I know not knowing sucks, and really the whole diagnosis thing is a pdoc's opinion if you don't fit into a box description of either one or the other or anything.

I doubt my diagnosis. Sometimes I even doubt having bp because, to my recollection, I've never gone on massive spending sprees, done anything risky (I don't think so anyway), or any of that.

Who knows.

[raspberrytorte]

Of course, I've had two doctors now who have told me that everyone "presents" their symptoms differently.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

I don't think bp2 is a lighter form. Depressions still suck.

You'll get the right diagnosis eventually. I know not knowing sucks, and really the whole diagnosis thing is a pdoc's opinion if you don't fit into a box description of either one or the other or anything.

I doubt my diagnosis. Sometimes I even doubt having bp because, to my recollection, I've never gone on massive spending sprees, done anything risky (I don't think so anyway), or any of that.

Who knows.

Oh Ive done some risky things...even psyd said it was unsafe when I told him some of my history. And spending spree? I spent $300 (on what Idk!!) in one week when I was hypo at the beginningof this month. Im totally broke. Bah!

[raspberrytorte]

During my last episode I just didn't have the time or desire to go shopping... I was too focused on building up enough positive energy to save the world. lol

[loophole]

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

Oh Ive done some risky things...even psyd said it was unsafe when I told him some of my history. And spending spree? I spent $300 (on what Idk!!) in one week when I was hypo at the beginningof this month. Im totally broke. Bah!

Try spending 4 grand In a month. That was a little sickening later on. And about 800 was spent on a freemium game

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[cashart10]

Originally Posted by loophole

Try spending 4 grand In a month. That was a little sickening later on. And about 800 was spent on a freemium game

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Not quite that much...but I recently spent at least a grand on clothing, shoes, and accessories, even taking out a credit card my hubs is *still* unaware exists. Normally, I can care less about shopping and spending money (and we have none anyway). I feel your pain.

[HALLIEBETH87]

$300 was almost all I had. Ive had about $25 since the second week of June.

[Crazy Hitch]

I hope you get the answers you seek soon

I know what it's like to be left hanging.

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

. I hate that people say bp2 is a lighter version because to me it's all just hell...

AMEN!!
Yeah, it can be frustrating. Sure, it's all about treating the symptoms, regardless of what name they give it and that being a spectrum of symtoms makes the dividing lines less cut-and-dried than it might seem at first and that different docs are going to make different calls in the middle zone and... And...and... and...

And all of that's true. Still, it's nice to be able to put a name on it. I get that. I like to be able to put a name on things too, even if it doesn't mean everything's the same within that realm. Makes it easier to get a grasp on. The wide open is just so big.

[Shadesofdark]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

BP 2 isn't any less dangerous for the person. This has been argued and content of many many threads over the years I have been here. I really do not understand whats so hard for people to grasp about it.

Hypos can cause just has much financial ruin due to spending, Risky behavior and poor judgement. "Typically" BP 2 has more and often longer depressions so it increases risk of suicide.

Sorry to intrude, but as far as hypomania I have to say, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.

Just finished our second bankruptcy from my hypo spending, and as far as risky behavior, I can tell you stories all night long, what I can remember anyhow. And yes, the depression is very real.

HALLIEBETH87 - I hope you get a good diagnosis that you can accept quickly, uncertainly stinks.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Im not new to BP. Im just aggravated because things change with each new provider. Its annoying. its like no one knows what my symptoms mean. Lol

[BipolaRNurse]

I was BP-NOS for two years. I asked my pdoc several times which flavor he thought I had, and he would not be pinned down. I don't blame him, my symptoms were all over the place and although I had episodes that should have defined it (in my opinion), he just wouldn't budge on the NOS diagnosis.

The game changed when I was hospitalized and three different psychiatrists said I had bipolar 1. Weird that it came in the middle of a depressive episode, but evidently they saw something in my chart that made them think that; maybe it was the crazy manic overspending (spent my family into bankruptcy x 2) and paranoid delusions. Oh, and there was the psychotic thing where I saw cats running under the linen supply cart in the ER. Now my own pdoc uses the same diagnosis on my paperwork, so bipolar 1 I shall remain. It's OK though, at least I have a definitive diagnosis and don't feel like I'm in limbo anymore.

[Maven]

It's frustrating when you get all kinds of dx's from different pdocs and other therapists. I don't have BP, but I have OCD, panic disorder, ADD, and depression. Life is hell. And on blowing through a lot of money in a short time span? Oh, I've done that! I'm running out of my inheritance money, and I have to give a big chunk of it to my boyfriend for paying dental bills for me. If I'd known how much it would cost, I wouldn't have had so much work done (and I have a lot more that needs doing). And he's missed at least one bill, and it endangers my credit rating. I wish I hadn't let them talk me into signing up with CareCredit. It all happened so fast. I didn't walk into the office thinking I'd be starting a credit line for me. Sorry, not trying to change topic. I just started "talking" and couldn't stop.

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[HALLIEBETH87]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

I was BP-NOS for two years. I asked my pdoc several times which flavor he thought I had, and he would not be pinned down. I don't blame him, my symptoms were all over the place and although I had episodes that should have defined it (in my opinion), he just wouldn't budge on the NOS diagnosis.

The game changed when I was hospitalized and three different psychiatrists said I had bipolar 1. Weird that it came in the middle of a depressive episode, but evidently they saw something in my chart that made them think that; maybe it was the crazy manic overspending (spent my family into bankruptcy x 2) and paranoid delusions. Oh, and there was the psychotic thing where I saw cats running under the linen supply cart in the ER. Now my own pdoc uses the same diagnosis on my paperwork, so bipolar 1 I shall remain. It's OK though, at least I have a definitive diagnosis and don't feel like I'm in limbo anymore.

Mine are all over the place too. Id wager ~Christina pretty much summed me up. She sees them! lol But my t sees them a lot and he agrees with the rapid cycling. That part is pretty obvious.

[raspberrytorte]

I guess I'm a freak for never having any spending sprees. I KNOW that when I see this new pdoc that's the first thing she's going to ask me. I always get asked that first.

[token451]

I always keep wishing they had figured out at test for mood disorder because every therapist I've been to has said I'm bipolar right of the bat, many friends have said it as well but my family doesn't believe so I never know who to believe. Pinning down a psychological disorder is so difficult because those who diagnose aren't with you all of the time and don't see all aspects of behavior and can only go on what you say which if you're like me, isn't everything.