Do people blame you for your episodes?

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Did you ever have anyone blame you for getting manic or depressed?
Like you caused it by doing something?

... who in their right mind would do this on purpose?

I think it can seem that way sometimes, as far us doing things to cause it.

At least for me, my episodes build very gradually and insidiously. Typically my mood, thinking and judgement are going to be impaired long before I am showing really obvious-to-others signs of an episode.

For example, one of the first things to go in any type of episode for me is giving a damn about my health, whether I feel invincible or vaguely suicidal or whatever. As the gears in my mind start whirring faster and becoming more erratic, my judgement will start to waver.

Confused judgement combined with not giving a damn about my own well-being can lead to behaviors that in retrospect I will realize were making things even worse.

However I feel like if people actually took the time and compassion to try to really understand this disorder, then they would realize such behaviors are early warning signs that an episode has started, not some deliberate effort to start an episode.

Hmm Ive had someone tell me to "pull myself together" during a mixed episode...like I don't try to feel better. ??

Not outright that I can think of.

But there sure as hell are people that I interact with who have triggered / made an episode of mine worse

People just don't understand. They think you can control it
or you are just not trying to be ok.

Theres always concern for me and my episodes by people close to me. That is until one happens then it's everyone for themselves mentality. **** the one with the disorder.. Pretty convienent way to rig the system.

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If I don't take care of myself and/or do things I know will de-stablize me .. then yes it would be my fault. But I don't play games like that with my stability.

When my Bipolar comes up and slaps me outta no where while I am doing everything I can to stay healthy ... then No I am not to blame.

People don't blame me.

But sometimes I can blame myself, like when I keep on not taking my seroquel consistently. Then it's my fault if mentally I feel unstable.

I remembered having a project group consisting of 3 "hardworking" guy and 2 "laid back" girls.
There was this case of conflict with a project mate a year ago. Unfortunately, I was picked as a project leader, and due to my lack of experience as a project leader, my mistakes was often picked on by one of these dudes.

I had my project timeline mapped out, but unfortunately, the guys were ambitious towards completing the project, while the girls were completely opposite. As a result of this, I had to initiate to assist the girls in coping with the project and re-assure the guys that our group is progressing smoothly.

This one guy got frustrated by the fact that I was being specially patient with the girls that he feels the team's progress was too sluggish. He ranted it out at me, I told him that it was my responsibility to look after every project members as a leader, so I urged his understanding on the matter. However, not only he refused to assist me yet complaint to my respective lecturer, he was all about saying "If people were to understand each other, then there won't be any progress in humanity" these kinds of illogical ********...

That swing me down from an elated state to a pretty depressive state of mind very quickly because I am someone that includes everybody in a team, does not matter who they are, but yet I couldn't reach an equilibrium.

It ticked me off that someone could just take another person's existence like a pinch of salt. Thanks to my high-tolerance anger level, he was so close to incurring my wrath.