[LupusYonderboy]

Hey boners

No wait, be polite and nice, don't call strangers boners and expect them to know you are being friendly...

Hey earth humans,

So I am an earth human female, and am sorely vexxed slash delighted by the poorly maintained carnival ride that it Bipolar 1.

I am here so I can actually talk to people without pretending that I have feelings all the time, or that I sleep and eat, or that I am stableish. Well, as much as I can pretend those things.

Lady Lazerus over here, one year in every ten I do it again...
I tend to completely upturn my life, have an adventure, lose my friends, get new ones, and start over a changed woman only to realize that I am barely a woman at all, just a current of energy like out of socket in a windowless desert shack with a holey roof. I can provide the warmth of light and heat against the chilly night, but when it occasionally rains, I short out and skike and zap and destroy. Sometimes I care, other times I dont. I dont even know if thats an up thing or a down thing, probaby a mixed thing.

When I am real up Ill buy a red sports car. 2 weeks later after nit sleeping for a few days, I crash it into a retaining wall going 85, break some ribs, but dont cancel my go go dancing gig out of state. I dance for 4 hours at a huge rave and get paid more than most professional dancers from strippers to ballerinas. This is a true story. I laughed all the way to the airplane, where I just started crying. This is after racking up 7000 in credit card debt beause I decided to hithhike thru texas on acid with my best friend and have a lot of weird sex and sleep in the desert and hang out with Brian Jonestown Massacre - this is also a true story.

When Im down I lose time. I end up looking in the mirror and al of a sudden I look great - Im pale and bony and kate mossy and I STILL lay on the floor and listen to Elliot Smith or the National and then theres blood and bruises because SURPRISE if you dont eat and you have a blood disorder you will get bloody noses, pass out, and bruise from your own limbs pressing onto one another as you sleep.

But I was doing well! Paying bills! Having a job! Not crying or laughing or stealing panties and fliging them at security before I leave the store if they see me. Driving the speed limit, not drinking, eating almost daily! LAMICTAL WORKED! It worked at 50 mg, it worked at 100 mg, it worked at 150mg.

At 200 I broke out in a horrible Rash. Methinks it could have progressed into the rash. My chest piercing got infected so bad I had to take it out and pop the pus blisters. Lukily I date a pediatrician who lanced it and gauzed it.

I stopped for a week or so, talked to my doctor, who was annoyed at me, told me i was a little excitable and to try 50 mg.

25 was ok. 50 makes me want to rip my skin off. Seriously. Rip it off. I am doing aerial at this point just so the trapeze rubs agaisnt the skin and hurts which is better than the itch.

Soooooo I stopped taking it. I didnt sleep last night because I stayed up joing professional organizations, drawing comics, taking photos of my cat. I had a photo shoot yesterday and was running around barefoot in a ruined paint factory. It ended at midnight. I went home in a purple wig, neon spandex skirt with crosses, a leotard, and cowboy boots. He is going to have to fix some serious purple spots. I am saner than most of my model friends, which is still absolutely otherworldly.

SO I am going to post this in the Bipolar section, but PLEASE. How do I make the rash and its left over redness, peeling, bumps, and then pimples when those bumps get infected and sweaty bc I live in Atlanta and it is 1000000 degrees and smoggy? In general, I would rather be pretty and then than happy, but this worked so well without weigh gain or side effects except some twitching at night for a few months and now it is broken. broken broken.

Anyway, it is nice to be here. Thanks and goodnight America.

[misslabarinth]

Hello and welcome to Psych Central,
This community is full of kind and caring members.
If you have a question or just wish to talk, don't hesitate to give me a message
(Click my name in blue to the left of my post)
I also wish to point out that if I don't answer (which I normally do ) or I'm not online, the community liaisons are always looking to help.
Identifying one is easy, the term 'community liaison' is right below their name
Take care ~
MissLabarinth

[Shadesofdark]

Welcome to PC. Look around. Make yourself at home. Post.

welcome to pc. I hope you find as much support and help here as I do.

[~Christina]

No one here is a Doctor and cant diagnose you , if your dealing with a rash and taking Lamictal or have been taking it , you need to get the rash looked at asap , It could be SJS (Steven Johnsons syndrome ) and that is something you dont want to play around with. Get it checked out. You can google SJS for info on it.

Welcome to PC you will find lots of support and advice

[Moogieotter]

Welcome to PC Bipolar Land, fellow Atlantan!

moogs