[Sesiley]

I have severe delusions...what are some of yours?

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[Blue_Bird]

I used to think the government was after me, that there were video cameras in my house watching me, and that my doctor was trying to poison me

For a long time, I thought my brother, his wife, my ex-best friend and her family were out to get me. I thought they conspired to plant listening devises in my home, and had people sit outside my house at all hours, waiting for me to go out so they could hurt me somehow. I constantly heard their voices in my head, saying terrible things about me. I was sure I had a psychic connection their thoughts. They were trying to get me to kill myself.

Some of my delusions are based in reality. My brother, his wife and my friend were up to something. But I think they were trying to help me, in their own sick way. I no longer have a relationship with these people, and I think it's for the best.

I have chronic persecutory delusions.

[cashart10]

I've believed that I was chosen by God; that he gave me the power to cast out demons and that every prayer given to me by the Holy Spirit would come true (this delusion comes with a lot of pressure). I believed that the Holy Spirit was drawn to water so I drank gallons to make sure he stayed. I believed that someone could read my mind. I once believed that the clouds had opened up and I was driving IN the sky...not much paying attention to the road going on there I'd say. I believed the Lord let me experience Heaven on earth (it was higher, I can imagine, than any drug high could ever be). I have seen Jesus coming on the clouds while sitting in my bedroom. I believed I was speaking in tongues and when I did this it made me high as a kite. I believed that if I laid my hands on someone to pray, I would transfer the Holy Spirit to them so I was laying my hands on many people, many times to pray for them, this gave me an enormous high as well. I believed I was fulfilling prophesies. It was bizarre.

On the flip side, I believed my mind was possessed by demons who were trying to convince me to commit suicide. I believed I was in the midst of hardcore spiritual warfare rather than a mental illness. I believed that my hyper sexuality was the devil himself tempting me and I fought hard, writhing with desire, not to give in and masturbate. Once I started to believe my mental illness was real again, it took forever to go back to a psychiatrist because I feared if I was wrong and it wasn't a mental illness, I would be giving into Satan and going to Hell. I once had an "out of body" experience while just laying in my bed. Recently one of the voices I heard responded to something I said; makes me wonder.

That's all I can think of for now.

[Crazy Hitch]

Paranoia .... where it feel like the whole world wants to shoot me down.

[ensconce]

paranoia, people in my head, shadows following me and watching me, when it gets bad enough.

[raspberrytorte]

Right now there's a negative entity following me around, and I feel it sometimes, resting on my back, or I see it looking out through my eyes. I've been doing my best to get rid of it, like writing on paper for it to be gone and burning the paper and flushing the ashes down the toilet. This works for awhile, but then it comes back. I've been doing my best to create positive energy to defeat it.

This is real to me. How can it not be real when I can actually feel it touching me?

I didn't tell my new pdoc about this.

I told my husband though and he told me it was a delusion.