[aBipolarBear]

Hey everyone!

I’m new here, so I guess I’ll start by explaining my story. Around the beginning of May I had a ‘vision’ of storms hitting the United States, so it was not surprise that come later in the month when the floods and tornados hit Texas and Oklahoma, I became enveloped in a manic state of grandiosity. I began drinking heavily, which added to my god-like complex, and started to believe I had influence over the weather. My thinking became more erratic; I became more crazed, and wound up being committed shortly after.

I was given Haldol, and then switched to Lithium. Currently, I am no medications.

This was my first episode (I’m in my mid-twenties); the entire situation has left me questioning myself, life, and spirituality.

I’ve always been a spiritual person, however I now find myself bouncing back and fourth between the ideas of divinity and madness; questioning whether my experience was coincidental and delusional or one that holds a deeper, more meaningful connection to life.

Can anyone else relate to this?

[BeyondtheRainbow]

That is not something that has ever happened to me but I know it has happened to other people who have posted here before. You aren't alone. PC is a great place to get support so please feel free to post about anything anytime.

[Mountainbard]

I can relate to your story. I had a similar experience about 12 years ago, although it did not result in hospitalization. The lesson I drew from it was that it is possible to become delusional no matter how spiritual you are. I believe everything happens for a reason, and if that's true then you can find the reason for your experience.

[Toodles333]

I was grandiose and spiritual a few months ago. I guess I was psychotic. I thought my life was being planned out by some "higher being" and I was receiving signs and messages from them. I sadly ended up in hospital too.

[CopperStar]

Many people who are not mentally ill also have spiritual experiences. I have had several spiritual experiences that were distinctly different from psychosis.

My stance is that if a person is able to function, take care of themselves, not harm others, etc, while also being spiritual, then it is simply genuine spirituality (which different people experience differently) and is harmless, sometimes even helpful or fulfilling.

But with psychosis it's like everything gets scrambled up. I can't function, I'm confused, my self-care goes down the drain and so on. I might interpret things as spiritual in my confusion, but my inability to care for myself and function is the dead giveaway.

[Christopher1990]

I often wonder what it all means? In the past I've become obsessed in a higher being and deeper meaning to life. I was able to feel so vibrant, intuitive and divine. Able to almost feel Gods presence everywhere I go, seeing signs.
And then depression hits and all of that disappears.

It has left me understanding that there's more to life.

Was it actually a spiritual awakening? It is possible. There's much information on psychosis/mania being misunderstood and actually being something spiritual. Western culture denies this and right everything off as delusional and give us meds so we can appear normal.

[DysphoricManicMom]

I was just discussing this with my boyfriend the other day. We both hold spiritual beliefs and both have had some profound experiences, and I was saying.. Ive read that when your crown chakra is unbalanced you have mental illnesses, but ive also read that mentally ill people may "think" they have had spirtual experiences and are actually delusional. But i have come to the conclusion that if my experiences arent related to mania then they are true experiences.

I also believe the idea that this culture writes it off as being crazy/delusional when it is actually ascendance.