[SirMoos]

Okay, so now that my son has started kindergarten we play on the playground everyday after school. Apart from the usual kid to kid problems that exist things have mostly gone well. The hiccup comes with me. The other moms and one in particular have been really friendly and welcoming to me and for the most part I've reciprocated.

Now that the seasons are changing, though, I'm feeling really panicky. I do have social phobia/anxiety along with the bp but I've been doing better. All the recent social interactions have left me drained and I just need a day off. My two choices are to tell my kids that we will not play today or try to tell the other parents that I'm having a bad day without fully panicking and breaking down.

This is the same pattern as last year, when my son was pre-k at the same school, when I started feeling badly and we couldn't play on the playground. I ended up spending all fall in a manic episode centered around exercise and fitness then the winter I was mixed until I finally managed to get in with a doctor. Really, I would rather die than go through that again, so I need to get a handle on this right away.

Sorry for the text wall, I really didn't start out to type this much, it just comes out when I get started.

[Mountainbard]

SirMoos maybe it's time for another doctor visit? I would hope parents would be understanding if you said you were having an off day, but if it turns into many off days, as it sounds like it did last fall, that won't be good for you or your son. I hope you can get a handle on this and posting & sharing here is a good step in that direction.

[Nammu]

Maybe ask about the seasonal affect on your mood? There seems to be many people on the bipolar forums that have this.

Other than the above I've no idea For advice. I wasn't as aware as you are when my daughter was that age...so I just bumbled through it. We have a good relationship now and that's all that's really important, I wouldn't worry to much about the other mothers, just do you best for you're kids and they'll understand that you are doing the best you can.

[Homeira]

If it is only once in a while you are unable to take your son to the playground, I am sure that it is ok. An off day once in a while is ok. If you are able to, then maybe you can do something fun at home, or watch a dvd together etc. I have had days like that with my son, when he was really too young to understand that I was not feeling well. So once in a while we had junk-food for dinner, pizza or whatever, and we watched TV to his hearts deligth that afternoon. It was a bit of a bonding-experience! Not super-mom, but nobody can be super-mom every day. I think it is important that children learn that their parents have needs too, and that sometimes they just have to accept that mom/dad are not feeling well. My son is a teenager now, and I miss the little boy he used to be. So try to enjoy him as much as possible, and don`t feel like you have to do everything perfectly every day. Most important is that he knows that you are there for him, and love him. That is what he will remember, not the days when you were unwell

[BastetsMuse]

Originally Posted by SirMoos

I just need a day off. My two choices are to tell my kids that we will not play today or try to tell the other parents that I'm having a bad day without fully panicking and breaking down..

I see a third choice. How about just saying "I just need a day off" to the parents and your kids -- and to yourself? It's okay to need a day JUST BECAUSE you need a day. For you.

I see someone suggested you contact your doc.... that would be taking care of you and would be a good idea too.