[wildflowerchild25]

The worst part about being slightly hypo is that I want to go OUT and do things tonight but because I have no friends, I can't. I don't even have my husband to hang out with anymore. I just...can't seem to allow myself to make friends. It's hard for me to go places when I'm not hypo, and doubly hard now that I'm a single mom. I really want to make mom friends my age, but then I'm caught by the fact that most of them will be married. I just feel like the third wheel now that I'm alone. It's no fun.

But the last week has been awesome. I'm sooooo glad for my AP. I can have all the good parts of hypo and none of the terribleness. Without it by now I would be manic and probably sliding into mixed. That's where all the danger is.

I would hesitate to even call it hypo since my sleep has not been affected but then again I take a sleep med so maybe it's not affected because of the drugs. I did spend a lot of money last weekend, including buying a new laptop that I did not need (but it's awesome!). I never spend money like that. And I've been driving awfully fast. I just feel like I need to get where I'm going as soon as possible so I can start handling whatever business I have there.

This week was the first week of full days for school, and it was ok. It seemed like every other day the kids were awful. Tuesday was awful and Thursday was even worse. But for the most part I've felt very happy and motivated. And even on Thursday when I felt super stressed out I didn't feel depressed. I just felt bad that I couldn't come home to my husband and get comforted by him. And that I never will again.

I hope this slight hypo lasts, or at least that I can remain motivated. I don't want to be the teacher I was last year, too anxious to get a single lesson plan actually done. Even after I went back I struggled with anxiety. I'm just so glad I feel like actually doing things, after a month being slightly to moderately depressed. I'm glad I got an increase of my AD. And I know it's all going to be ok because I would have already been manic if it wasn't.

I wish you all could come to where I live and be my friends!

I just needed to talk and since all three of my friends are busy tonight I didn't have anywhere else to do it. Hope you don't mind my slightly hypo rambling.

[Wildflower4]

I'd be your friend if we lived closer. I really don't have any either and I understand wanting to be with other people sometimes.

[gina_re]

When I was hypo earlier this summer I had the same feeling. I was so amped up and wanted go out and do everything, but didn't really have anyone to do it with me. I'm totally down for being your friend if we lived closer though!

[wildflowerchild25]

Thanks guys! I didn't take my sleep meds last night and stayed up until midnight even though I was in bed by ten. I woke up at seven. I usually sleep from ten until eight on weekends. So I guess my sleep has been affected! Better just take my sleep meds.

You guys will be my audience because I have no one except my four year old son to talk to and I want to talk. Nobody has to reply lol this is just so I can feel like I'm actually telling people things instead of sitting by myself.

I got my lesson plans done! And it's only 8:30 in the morning. When I am depressed or anxious I wait until the last possible second and then I have a ****** week because I didn't plan correctly. I'm so glad I'm able to get stuff done right now! I don't want to be a bad teacher this year.

I'm going to church with my mom which I hate because I am soooo not religious and I do not agree with anything that goes on in that church (they're all super conservative and I am super liberal). So why do I go? I don't know, I guess because it will make my mom happy for me to go. She wants to take my son to sunday school and I don't want to leave her alone with him every Sunday.

So that's my plan! Then we have Septemberfest and/or the Irish festival to go to. Should be fun! It's a very nice day. I hope it continues to be cooler because the air conditioning is broken in my classroom and the last week has been hell with the kids complaining their heads off about how hot it is.

Have a great day everyone!