[xxblackrosesxx]

It's been 3 months of mania now. I've no idea how much money I have spent apart from a few days ago.

In a span of two days I have got my hair trimmed and dyed for $135.77 and my eyebrows threaded and tinted for $33.4 and I got a spray tan for $23.14.

I've gone against my pdocs advise of not drinking. I've been drinking quite a bit and getting up early for work.

I haven't been keeping up with my medication ever and I am smoking like a chimney. Now Idk if this is normal. Heck Idk the definition of normal.

But it feels so right to be spending all this money and I am mostly not alone. There is now a rare day where I don't go out...it feels like an impulse because my mind wants me to go go go. But my body wants me to sleep. Aha.

Always going out and now I am dating a guy who I think sort of loves me.

But everyday I'll think that this is the last day of feeling so high up on the ceiling but it turns out that the next day is the same as the last. I'm not remembering the days or the date of the week. I'm finding it hard. It's getting harder.

[wiretwister]

be careful hun ... landings can be hard ..

[xxblackrosesxx]

Originally Posted by wiretwister

be careful hun ... landings can be hard ..

I don't want to land just yet

[BlackSheep79]

Take your meds.

Maybe you should check into inpatient to get stabilized before it gets scary. It might soften the landing.

[xxblackrosesxx]

Originally Posted by BlackSheep79

Take your meds.

Oh I've been taking them but I've built a slight tolerance to them hahaha

[xxblackrosesxx]

Originally Posted by jupiter3

Maybe you should check into inpatient to get stabilized before it gets scary. It might soften the landing.

this is the UK health system we're talking about. They went ip me hahaha

[Homeira]

The overspending is very serious. Three years ago (I think it was), I maxed our a credit card. I was hypo/low mania, and I was thinking that I needed these things, that I deserved them, etc. I didn't even stop to think that I was spending more money than I could afford to pay back. Now I am trying my best to pay the money back, but with the high interest rate on the card, I am stuck with most of what I am able to pay being "eaten up" just by the interest rate. If I miss a payment, the loan actually increases! Is there anyone who can manage your money while you go through this fase? Give your card/access to your bank account to a familymemeber f.ex? It sounds a biy extreme, but it is worth it if it will keep you from making a lot of mistakes financially. And I hope you will be able to start taking your meds consistently. It is so hard to control oneself in an episode like what you are going through. Keep in mind though that this IS an episode, and that your BP is causing you to loose sigth of how important it is to take care of yourself. You write that you have a certain tolerance for your meds, so maybe you need to seek advice from your psychiatrist or doctor. Could be that you need something extra right now to get some control. I hate to see another person get stuck in debt, and feeling guilty for what was done in a manic episode. It makes the coming down so much harder. Take care of you

[Christopher1990]

his sounds all to familar. mania make me smoke a pack a day.. when normally i hate cigarettes. my conception of time is completely distorted. i cant focus or even watch a television prgram. idk if your bp1 but if you are be careful of getting too high. alcohol wont help. good luckk

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[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by xxblackrosesxx

Oh I've been taking them but I've built a slight tolerance to them hahaha

In the first post you said you weren't keeping up with your medication

[BlackSheep79]

Originally Posted by xxblackrosesxx

Oh I've been taking them but I've built a slight tolerance to them hahaha

That's not what you wrote. It's not a joke. Why is being med compliant a joking matter? Do you want to pay for the consequences later on by what you are doing? For me personally, I can't **** around with my meds, there is just too much to lose, and it doesn't just affect me. That's how I view my illness. I'm not going to let it ruin my life.

[xxblackrosesxx]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

In the first post you said you weren't keeping up with your medication

I keep forgetting what I am typing. This is annoying. Well I haven't been keeping up with my meds but I've been good for the past day or so lol. But it's pretty bad.

[xxblackrosesxx]

Originally Posted by BlackSheep79

That's not what you wrote. It's not a joke. Why is being med compliant a joking matter? Do you want to pay for the consequences later on by what you are doing? For me personally, I can't **** around with my meds, there is just too much to lose, and it doesn't just affect me. That's how I view my illness. I'm not going to let it ruin my life.

Whoa, calm down! I know...I forgotten what I typed let alone knowing I did a post. No one is helping me the professionals just told me to watch Netflix...wat? Netflix doesn't cure anything. This obsessive counting. I can't. stop. counting. I've taken my meds correctly though for now. After cleaning up my room and picking up all the dust of the carpet.

[xxblackrosesxx]

Originally Posted by Christopher1990

his sounds all to familar. mania make me smoke a pack a day.. when normally i hate cigarettes. my conception of time is completely distorted. i cant focus or even watch a television prgram. idk if your bp1 but if you are be careful of getting too high. alcohol wont help. good luckk

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Yeah I can't stop smoking and smoking. Before all that I only would smoke probably...every so often. I just drank alcohol again last night. 4 pints of beer.

[xxblackrosesxx]

I'm hallucinating animals for some reason.