[BeyondtheRainbow]

I saw my pdoc this afternoon for an almost 2 hour visit. I left her office at 6:20. This is why I love her; she will fight for answers for as long as it takes. So most importantly the letter that made me think I would get dropped has been misinterpreted by several people, including me, and I'm not losing her. Newer patients who don't participate in treatment will be dropped and I have the protection of all my years with her and of being co-operative.

She emailed the pdoc I saw in the hospital for an assessment of ECT since he's one of the drs who does it and he knows me. I should hear about that tomorrow. In the meantime we have several things planned to try to either avoid ECT or to have a plan of something to put me on when I am done that will hold me.

For right now I'm going to the max dose of my MAOI and should know in 5-7 days if that helps. She said any response would mean continuing as I may only get a small response quickly. In the past when we went to this dose I got a response pretty quickly I think. If it works we'll start lowering my Seroquel with an overall goal to get off that because it doesn't seem to be working like it used to (although this is dependent on one of 2 new AP drugs being appropriate for me). If it doesn't then we'll add a tiny bit of lithium. I've had 3 toxicities so can only have a teeny dose but the difference between this episode with its' psychosis and prior episodes has been that I was always on lithium when I was mixed before this. If none of these things, including ECT, work out we'll move on to clozaril.

So she listened closely to my thoughts and worked with me to find a couple of last resort ideas before going on to ECT but understands why I am wary of drugs right now and why I am interested in trying ECT instead of more drugs that don't work.

I did tell her that I feel like I've been overly needy for overly long and she told me that she just can't get me and one other person stabilized and that's the problem, not me. I needed to hear that.

So I'm currently completely exhausted but hoping that one of the ideas will help. Quickly. I can't believe how much anxiety I was feeling about losing her. I never doubted how much I want her as my dr but I hadn't considered losing her without warning in a very long time.

[gina_re]

I'm so happy you get to keep her as your doctor!! I sincerely hope the med adjustments work for you, please keep us updated!

[99 FAIRIES]

I m so glad you still have the same pdoc. I would be crushed if mine left me. Hope your new plan works well for you.

[Edgar's Mom]

What a relief for you!!!! She sounds like a gem :-) I'm so happy for you that you get to keep her!!!

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