[pjcjr77]

I'm just curious, how many people have you told in your life about your issues? Do you carry a sense of shame? If so, why do you think that is?


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Aside from 4 close friends and a couple of relatives, unless I'm communicating anonymously on the internet, I won't disclose my mental illnesses nor any of my other problems to anybody unless there is a direct benefit to doing so.

I won't share too much about my flaws, insecurities, or any other secrets of mine with anybody unless I've known them for awhile and they have the right personality to get close to me.

I have absolutely zero shame for what I am; what's the point of it? Guilt or shame has never helped anybody especially when you are feeling guilt or shame for something out of your control. In fact, I believe that my issues make me stronger because I've had to work much harder for things most people have obtained easily and take for granted. Most people will never know what it's like to truly suffer and struggle and they will thus, be at a disadvantage compared to people like us.

[faerie_moon_x]

My husband knows and my MIL knows about my bipolar. They live with me. Most of my family doesn't know outside of that.

I have my friends here on PC who know and I have one RL friends who knows, she is also bipolar and we support each other.

My work knows I have bipolar because I disclosed when I was first diagnosed, but they are not understanding of it.

I don't feel any shame for having bipolar. I feel bad for some of things I have done, but in an "I'm sorry" kind of way. The reason I don't share it around to everyone is because people get discriminatory, and I have faced that at work and conflict tends to send me over the edge, so I try to keep things calm around me.

[raspberrytorte]

My husband knows obviously and told his mom and dad. I told our babysitter. At the time those are the only people who really know.

I'm not ashamed, more like embarassed. I have my husband pick up my refills because of it. I know I shouldn't be embarassed. Even my husband told me it's silly because I'm always talking about MI stigma, and then I can't even pick up my prescriptions. He has a good point.

[BadWolfC]

Everyone knows, I don't see it as something to be ashamed of. It isn't like I chose to be this way. My entire family, my fiance, my fiance's family, all my friends, and even some of my coworkers know. Some of the really bad parts I keep to myself because I don't want pity, but I don't avoid telling people if they ask or if I feel like they should know. And I've yet to have a negative experience as a result of telling someone about my issues.

[Pikku Myy]

Family, close friends and my partner, basically anyone who may be affected by my so called ' moods'.

[*Laurie*]

Not many. I'm not ashamed of having a physical disorder, but it's been my experience that when many people know someone is mentally ill they tend to default to stigma as soon as they don't agree with the mentally ill person. For example, I tell a friend about my mental illness, then we disagree with each other on some issue and the friend quickly resorts to 'well, you're crazy'. My own sisters have pulled that sh *t with me...and the sad joke of it is that both of them should be on psych meds, but refuse to drop their denials.

I guess when all is said and done, I don't feel like I can trust most people with my personal medical information.

what badwolfc said... i can talk freely about my problems, for the most part, when appropriate. however, the idea of stigmatizing these things as "problems" is what causes worse things to our overall perception of things, potentially affecting ones self-esteem...

that shaking feeling, or that internal burning sensation of shame, of feeling vulnerable... emotions that occur because we experience those ideas (of being bipolar, of having certain quirks, or even having done certain things in our lives) as negative, that occur because we refuse to accept them...

not exactly necessary to "see them in a bright side" to accept them, but to literally see the objective reality... meaning, that it is there, it exists, and thats all it is. just there. a part of my life, not defining my life, but its a part that i work with. no need to give it the power over me. no need to empower it with the power of "dark memory that haunts me, so i feel horrible when i mention it"... just there. instead, focusing on adapting to this, emphasizing my strengths in this situation (ie, empathy, emotion, opinion, understanding, curiosity, etc).

but really, in a normal social situation, theres no real reason to mention any of it. just like theres no reason to mention you took a poop a few minutes ago. unless you feel some sense of urgency to mention it, in which case, its been subconsciosly labeled as "problem" and needs internal resolving... and even then, we can always seek help. but when the problem is "can i mention it in this situation?" that depends on how one can handle a reaction, and what they plan to do after the reaction is given....

love to u all... i hope everything is going well...

[Christopher1990]

Like the majority, close friends and family. Word got out in high school as friends would talk behind my back and wonder where I would go when I'd disappear for a week. Ya know, ya he's "crazy".. I think more people know then I'd like to think. You know, family talks.. If working, I won't tell any co-workers. I would try to hide it from my boss. In emergency I might have to tell him. But, even with the people I know we don't discuss my problems. I think they see me as normal because most the time I am normal (whatever that means) But, I don't really know what they think of me, I know they do know I'm a bit crazy. When I was talking to my best friend about being crazy he told me I wasn't. He told me crazy is his Uncle who tried to run over his father with a giant tractor. I'm not that kind of crazy. That made me look at being crazy from a different perspective.

I'm pretty lax bout the bipolar aspect of my MI. For one thing, I didn't choose to be this way, so no shame here.

I told everyone that has to deal with me consistently, even some clients who are friends that I work for.

I'm also 47, so I told my parents states away to put them on a guilt trip. They are my abusers for so many years that I don't want to tell them about the other mental aspect I suffer from. I rarely speak to them.

The DID is so stigmatized and misunderstood thanks to Hollywood that it's a secret. Nobody gets it. Some don't even believe that it's real. The ones ashamed and embarrassed should be my abusive parents for putting me through RA.

Because of this, talking about being bipolar affected isn't that big of a deal.

[passionfruit3]

A lot of people know my family is so open about it it's hard to keep it a secret. I keep self harm behavior to a minimum though some people have found out not by my choice

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My husband, my parents, my son, and my step-daughter are the only ones who know about my bipolar diagnosis.

Which by the way, I found out today via paper work that needed signing, that my doc changed my diagnosis from bp2 to bp1 for some reason. I don't know why but it made me freak out a little.

Anyway, the hubs is also the only other person that knows about the borderline traits and the cutting.

Do I feel shame? Maybe but I think it's more so not wanting to be stigmatized by ignorant people. I'm a very private person anyways so it's literally never come up in conversations with associates of mine.

[Trippin2.0]

All the people. Lol


I tore out my shame gland as a teen, found no beneficial use for it.

[Standup2me]

My Mum, my auntie, ex-husband and current husband
Why so few?
Not shame, but more of not wanting to have to deal with the stigma of having a mental illness.
You would think that in the year 2015, people would be more accepting.
But...maybe that is because some of us don't tell?

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Everyone knows about me. I think it spread through my family via gossip and I know it spread through my hometown (gossipiest (new word) place on earth) via gossip although I'm not sure where that came from. I used to have a facebook page where plenty of people did not know (co-workers especially) but after 2 people were really nasty about it very publicly I changed my facebook and only have people who I care about and who I know will handle it kindly as friends. So I don't have everyone I ever knew like most people, just family, a few friends from college or high school and some old co-workers. That works better for me. I have one gossipy person who keeps trying to friend me and I keep saying no. She's due to try again soon in fact.

I do limit what I say. I will talk the politics of disability with everyone I know but only a few people know I was in the hospital recently. If I do ECT or go off Seroquel to start clozaril I'll probably post something so people know because the support can be good. But I'll keep it limited to some extent. Some cousins will know everything and some will know that I'm doing a treatment that requires a longer stay in the hospital.

I do feel shame although I recognize that it is something I don't need to feel and that I should leave behind. But mostly shame is from other things and not from people knowing my diagnosis. (Although I do not go back to anything in my hometown because I don't want to deal with people there, many of whom would be "nice" just to find out enough to gossip about me. Clearly I have issues with where I grew up ).

Everyone. I was only diagnosed a few years ago. It was such a relief to find out. It explained so much of my moods and behavior.

[RisuNeko]

I've told my parents, my aunt, (indirectly) the rest of my extended family on my mom's side, my 3 best friends, 4 or 5 other friends, 3 or 4 ex coworkers, and that's about it. But that's most of the people in my life. I don't mind telling most people. I've had more supportive reactions than unsupportive reactions. I actually don't think I've had any unsupportive reactions. Not to say that everyone I've told actually understands, but 4 of those people are also bipolar and they understand, and my parents, well...they try, and that's good enough for me.

[RisuNeko]

Oh and some of my ex professors that i'm friends with on facebook. And pretty much all of my facebook friends I guess.

[~Christina]

Husband, Brother, our kids and one person in RL and of course all my PC friends lol

I really have not felt the need to shout it from the roof top and educated stupid people, But I do now have the Semicolon tattoo and I think I am kinda hoping someone will have the balls to ask me about it. As I have it in a very visible place.

Shame? Nope ! that would be also feeling shame for having Fibro and insomnia.. Makes no logical sense to insert Shame into my verbage.

[99 FAIRIES]

Everyone in my life knows, probably because I've been inpatient 17 times in the last 4 years. Kinda hard to hide that.

[polesapart]

Who know I have bipolar - more than I can count. Certainly anyone I consider a friend knows.
Who have an idea of what that means for me - a handful, close friends and family
Who know the full extent - my husband and 2 close friends.

[pjcjr77]

I'm surprised by how open everyone is with the people around them. I'm quite the opposite. I have been going to see the psychiatrist for about 2.5 years now, and the only people that know are my doctors, my wife and the personal trainer that I have worked with. That's it really.

I'm not sure if its shame...possibly something more like embarrassment. I'm not quite sure. Some of it may just be my personality type, combine that with generally being outwardly quite, and not much would be said about sensitive subjects.

A few years ago I came very close to death due to very sudden and severe pulmonary embolisms. The vast majority of people that were in the same state would have died. I can talk about that experience to some extent, but it can be tough because the average person doesn't really understand that situation. They can almost be dismissive. I would imagine talking about my mental issues would be be a bit along those lines, or worse.

I do find that in my situation I can feel a bit alone. Overtime I have learned to mostly stop talking about those issues with my wife. She used to beyond supportive, but now when I am having a tough time she thinks its because of her.

I guess that is almost a comfortable place as it was like my childhood. Having endless issues without anyone to reach out too.

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[Row Jimmy]

I have ZERO shame about who I am but at the same time, I have told very few people due to the nature of my profession (I am a teacher). I only have one close friend and some family members that know. The harsh reality is that we need to be careful who knows.

[GemmaTeller]

I am careful about who I share my personal information. It is a risky proposition and at times has come back to bite me if I don't use discretion.

[Victoria'smom]

My friends, family, in laws all know but most are in denial anyways.