[ComfortablyNumb5]

I can't remember a time where I was actually content with my mental health. Right now I'm furious. Thoughts and a great deal of anger in me. My bf is driving me crazy. He says I have an attitude right now. No a*shole I just want to stuff you in the trunk of my car right now! I can't find anything to help with this anger! I got sober (from alcohol) back in May while at the same time, dropping all my meds because I thought I was aaallll better now! Well I woke up a wk ago with the intent to really f*cking hurt someone. Due to crap insurance, I had to go to 4 different dr's trying to get back on my meds but they wanted me to go to my psych dr. Well it takes forever to get in there. I called, I begged, I got in. He put me on Wellbutrin SR 200 mgs in AM, buspar 45mgs in two seperate doses, risperdal 4mgs (Was on risperdal in the past and it worked well). Ok so this was like 6 days ago and I've stopped crying, but I still want to light my animals on fire. Ok not REALLY. So today I decided to rummage through my old meds and took 100mg seroquel hoping to calms me down(I've been taking these 2 antipsychotics together, risperdal and seroquel in the past with good results). Well, It made me *** out and wake up still pissed off. wtf am I doing wrong here? Am I not being patient enough? I just might take my night meds and call this a day! Sorry for the long vent! But I'm going crazy here.

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[BeyondtheRainbow]

It sounds like you may need to think about going IP to get the meds right and get things calmed down for you. This sounds miserable and would scare me badly as well. Whenever you start digging around in old meds for something, anything that might help I think it is time to seriously consider going in for a bit. You may also need some help adjusting the WB dose since that can make you higher if everything isn't playing well together and it certainly sounds like it isn't. (not saying to stop it, just that you may need a professional to help you more than one emergency pdoc appt).

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I've done some research and I think it's the Wellbutrin. I can't go one more day on this. I think I'm going to stop it and maybe try celexa.

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[BeyondtheRainbow]

Please consider getting a dr's opinion before you change things. I know it's hard but honestly Celexa can be just as stimulating. And if you just start taking it and simultaneously just stop the WB then that's 2 more things that you are asking your brain to handle. You can get so messed up from that...I just went through something similar and it's just bad. (The hospital had no psych beds when I went to the ER so I was in the ER for 30 hours. I got some of my meds at wrong doses the night I spent in the ER. Then when I got to the floor there was an error with admitting me and I got forgotten so I wasn't admitted until midnight and the pharmacy was closed so more of my meds were messed up that night. I was weaning off one AP; since I only got half of it Sunday night and none on Monday the pdoc and I agreed to just stop it effective Sunday even though that would be tougher on me. They didn't have my patch so I went 60 hours before that was changed (it should be changed every 24) and then a few hours after it was put on it was removed b/c we planned to change to another MAOI but then didn't b/c I couldn't afford it. So that finally was put back on correctly Tuesday afternoon. I was on 800 mg of Seroquel XR. They only had immediate release and the ER gave me 900 mg. Then the resident for some odd reason wrote for me to get 400 AM and 400 PM so Monday night I got 400 and didn't know it until Tuesday morning when they tried to give me 400 more. Then Tuesday night we increased from 800 to 1000 mg. The immediate release made me sleepy as soon as I took it but I was waking up really early until the increase and then I was wiped out. I needed to go to 1200 but the pdoc recommended waiting a week or so b/c my body and brain had been through so much. So I did that. When I came home I had to go back to Seroquel XR although I broke some of the tablets to make them immediate release while I adjusted.

I think it took 3 weeks before my brain was over being stunned with all those changes. It was not pleasant.

Your brain and body are just adjusting to the changes your pdoc made. The more you add and subtract the more trauma your brain chemistry is going to go through and you are likely to feel bad from that. I know it is hard but please consider either going to an ER or waiting until Monday and calling your pdoc.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I really appreciate your input and concern. I think I need to just sleep this whole day off and press the restart button tomorrow. My bf is so uncomfortable with my anger right now, he went to bed. I dont blame him.

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