I attend an outpatient yoga class at the hospital each week. Some weeks its hard to get there at the best of times. I find it hard to do anything physical in public.

Fifteen minutes into yoga a group of construction workers came into the gym. My anxiety immediately rose to near breaking point as I was convinced they were watching us all (doing downward dog no less). They probably weren't but at the time that's all I could think about. Anyway, I nearly had an axniety attack; quick breathing, heart pounding, shaking uncontrollably. I had to run out of there as fast as I could.

It bothers me I feel this way. Mind you I was feeling pretty fragile before I went today, but I shouldn't allow things to bother me so much. I shouldn't take things so personally. I shouldn't jump to conclusions. I shouldn't freaking be bothered so much by what people might think. Arrrrrrgh!

[gina_re]

I do that too and would probably have the same thoughts. I get too paranoid thinking people are paying attention to me and/or talking about me.

[tigger_57]

I know I am very self conscience around people, especially if "I know " they are looking at ME ...

Yes, I can intellectualize that the group of men probably took little notice of our grup in the corner but at the time I was convinced they were staring at me and laughing at me.

I hate this. It happens to me all the time. I hate going anywhere alone beccause I'm so sure I am being looked at and evaluated. Am I dressed okay? Is my hair okay? Are they thinking I'm fat? Am I even walking okay? Do I have some ridiculous gait that they are laughing at?

And it's not just that I am convinced they are thinking this but I actually worry I will be confronted on it. I don't have trust that no one will say anything to me.

I know it goes back to being bullied mercilessly as a kid and teen.

This is part of me, I can't change it, and it runs my life.