[Edgar's Mom]

Here's what I posted for my Facebook status for MIAW.

It's Mental Illness Awareness Week and I keep seeing posts pop up from people who are offering acceptance and support, and asking others to re-post to spread awareness. Instead of re-posting that, I've thought about it and decided to write my own post.

MIAW is about ending the stigma with mental illness and I feel like the best way I can do that is to be very open about my own mental illness. Anyone who is close to me knows that I am bipolar, but there may be many of you who don't. Some of you from my distant past might think “ah... so that was what was wrong with her.”

It’s been a rocky road and it still is at times, although I am blessed to be surrounded by wonderful, understanding and supportive people. It wasn’t always like that.

We move a lot and I’ve had to re-set and make a new set of friends three times since leaving Ontario. I used to keep my mental illness to myself and not disclose it until I got to know people. I always felt like I was hiding the real me, and always worried about rejection when they found out. And I’ve been burned. I’ve had a few people who I thought were friends turn on me when they found out.

But the vast majority of people have been wonderfully understanding and supportive and give me great faith in humanity. I tell people straight up now. As soon as it comes up in conversation. The way I look at it, I don’t want to waste my precious time investing in relationships with people who aren’t worth it. Now, I tell people, and they have a choice if they want to pursue a relationship or not.

What I have found is this: Almost everyone that has come in to my life since then has been very accepting and supportive. I no longer feel like I’m hiding the “real me” and I don’t worry about what will happen when people find out “who I really am.”

They know. And they still seem to like me. And I get to be me and I get to be accepted for who I am.

I wanted to write this because I know there will be some of you who are in hiding, and I want you to know that you are not alone. If coming out of the bipolar closet can help people by having a face to put to mental illness or if it can help someone who is suffering not feel ashamed or alone, then I’m happy to do it, and in a position where I’m fortunate enough to have the love and support to be able to do so.

[tigger_57]

That is wonderful must feel great to be so "honest", afraid I am not quite there yet, ...

[Ripose]

I really like the way you wrote this and how you are so direct. People's reactions are not as severe as they used to be and it is because of messages like this that the word is spread. Thank you!

I wish people would respond the way I did when someone many years told me she was bipolar. I was a little bit shocked but instead of being afraid, or rude, I said "So what is that like?" She was very surprised by my reaction because I was the first person she had told that did not react very poorly. She than took about 15 minutes explaining to me what bipolar disorder really was. It was great night for both of us and we both became better people. I admire her to this day for being so brave.

[LettinG0]

Thanks Edgar's Mom ..... beautiful and brave...

[raspberrytorte]

edgar'smom - That was very courageous of you. It's wonderful! I'd be too scared to just come out of the closet like that.

[gina_re]

This is courageous and inspiring! Thank you for sharing!!

[Edgar's Mom]

I am in a position where I'm able to be more open because I have a lot of support around me. Some years ago, I started telling people as it came up in conversation and since then I've found it easier and easier to disclose.

The more people who know, the less it seems like a secret, and by just telling people as though it's nothing seems to de-mystify it somewhat. Also, the more people who know, the more people who accept me, and that seems to build more acceptance cumulatively.

Because I have the support of so many people around me, even if someone reacted negatively, I might not even notice. They are unlikely to be openly discriminatory when they see others being accepting.

Also, if someone is that much of a close-minded A-hole, I don't want to waste my time with them--although I guess when someone is like that, it is usually fear driving them, and if I'm trying to be a bigger person, I suppose I should have compassion for them.

I recently moved my horse to a barn where I started working to pay for my board, and I had to tell the owner because I had my ECT scheduled and she needed to know that. That made me a little nervous because it was a risk and I wasn't sure how it would affect my keeping my horse there or working there. As it turned out, she is lovely, and is very understanding. It could have gone differently though and I knew the risk was there.

I guess my point is that I understand that not everyone is in a position where they are able to do this, and I wouldn't recommend it for anyone who couldn't handle the worst case scenario when taking such a huge risk. The risk of rejection is very real.

I also can't take so much credit for being brave... I have so much support around me that it's easy for me to be brave with this. If others had the same supports, they would be as well. Conversely, if I lacked the support I have now, there isn't a chance I'd be able to do this.

I wish for all of you to have love and acceptance around you. Someday we will be able to say we are bipolar with the same level of ease as someone who declares they are diabetic.