[BadWolfC]

I don't know what to do... I feel like I'm faced with deciding whether someone who mattered to me a long time ago will live or die. If I reach out, I risk destroying the life I have now. If I don't reach out... I don't even want to think about that possibility.

I only know that he's not doing well because of a mutual facebook friend. One of his posts showed up in my news feed tonight. I never really knew him... I had feelings for him in high school, 7 or more years ago, and never acted on those feelings. I stayed away because I thought he'd be better off not knowing me. I was in a dark place at the time... and maybe I was right back then. But I never forgot him. I'm almost in tears thinking about all this... I don't want anything to happen to him. But I don't know what I'm risking if I try to contact him. What if I start really caring for him? What if it puts my present relationship in jeopardy? But... what if I'm the one person who can save him, and I don't?

I feel sick. I feel like I'm on the edge of a knife, about to fall off one end or the other. No matter what decision I make, something bad will probably happen. I wish I didn't care so much. I wish I could be selfish and happy with my life and not worry about this. But I can't.

I guess what I'm looking for is some kind of support. I just want to know that I'm not broken for feeling and reacting this way...

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I don't think that if you reach out in a friendship that you are risking your relationship unless you want to start a new relationship with this person based on the old feelings.

To be fair and to hopefully ease your mind a little, you can't be in control of whether someone else lives or dies. You might be able to help him somehow, maybe you can't. But whatever happens to him that is not determined by your actions.

I guess you need to ask yourself why do you want to reach out, what kind of relationship do you hope to begin and is that relationship a healthy one?