Intrusive annoying thoughts

I have this too. From what I have read online it is not that uncommon. I have only talked to a few people about it, my husband, my doctor and my brother who has depression. For some reason it is usually violent images and thoughts, or sexually extreme or taboo thoughts that you have no interest in doing but they come into your mind unbidden. It also includes thinking of impulsive actions that you would not do, like the car swerving example or standing up and swearing in church, stabbing someone, hurting a child, etc. The difference from compulsions is that you would never do them, and in fact they are very disturbing to you. I had this very bad in the past. The thing that really wears me out however, is the intrusive thoughts I have after social interactions. I can come home from a gathering and feel like it was fun and in a few hours I have memories forming that I embarrassed myself by saying stupid and insensitive things, had weird mannerisms, and then complete self-loathing takes over. My husband assures me that everything was totally fine and that my friends love me and think I am smart, funny, sensitive and that I acted completely appropriate. But it does not match with my internal version. I had a job interview on Friday that immediately after I thought went great, I celebrated on Friday night and then spent all weekend crying because of thinking of things I said or did that were stupid and embarrassing in the interview. I feel like I don't even care if I get the job or not, all I care about is if they thought I seemed ridiculous and stupid. (I have a 30 year career in a professional field and a master's degree!) My thinking is so distorted I cannot trust my perceptions or instincts at all.

I do all this!!

Intrusive thoughts for me are everyday regardless of mood state - but worse in times of stress and anxiety. Hallie, you know you, some posters in this thread obviously have no clue! (Not you cash )I know how scary it is to think you will act on them - but how often have you and how often have you been able to let them pass without incident? Try to remember that

I just make myself drive faster on the interstate to get away from big trucks and urges but boy theyre really strong this time.

Ive considered calling for phone coaching but I don't want to appear weak or in crisis. Im just having an off week not really an episode. Ive been trying to use my DBT skills.

I just had a really sucky day. I think a good nights sleep might be helpful for me.