A Wierd Experience of Psychosis

After being manic for a long time. I lived at shelters, got robbed of everything I took there. Walked the streets even. At the time did not mind. I am single, and dating sucks where I have to find the right moment to say I am bipolar. I don't feel like seeing if someone accepts me. There is nothing wrong with what I went through, it just happened. I even wish I was still manic so I don't have to feel the shame of what I went through. I wonder if I will meet someone someday. I have never been married, and my doctor said not to have kids, but I think I want them now. Thanks for reading. I am still learning this site.

Its your decision to have children. A lot of us have had similar experiences. I found someone that also has bipolar to accept me. We have a 13 yr old son. Welcome to PC.

I learn a lot about people very quickly when they find out I've struggled with mental health problems. In a way it can help you weed out people who would be a waste of your time and energy, while you search for people who are worthwhile.

I too sometimes wish I were still manic, where everything is awesome. Right? I often wonder, too, where my confidence ended and my most recent mania began. The mania ended in June, then I swung downward, but not really I'm a bipolar depression. More like, "How can you not feel down even if you're not clinically depressed after being so high?"

Also, "How can you not compare what was to what is in terms of how you feel, regardless of what the ramifications were?" (In my case, a huge financial disaster.)

As far as shame goes, I feel ya'! I think it's part and parcel of the disorder, but one we can learn to manage better by recognizing that we never asked to be bipolar, and it's not like we went manic or fell into depression on purpose.

It's cliche but true too, to ask, "Would you blame a guy with a brain tumor for having a headache?No? You would treat it?" If you see the logic here, then maybe you can give yourself a little grace with the symptoms of your medical issue, too. Just a thought.

Take care!