[Pughead]

How can you make therapy productive when you're a rapid cycler like me? Sometimes I go in there and I'm so elated and happy, that we end up just shooting the BS the whole time. Other times, I'm so down that I just spend the whole time pouring out my frustration and hate. It seems like then that the only productive sessions take place when I'm down. Well, I'm not really down yet, but I'm on the way down. That's probably why I've been so pissed off lately. But this morning I dumped my feelings out on the table before my T. I don't feel any better. He made some good suggestions but I'm just like, "What's the point? When I'm down I'll be down, when I'm up, I'll be up. " It is what it is. Mindfulness. I'm aware of my state. It just is what it is. I can't make myself happy be acknowledging I'm down and then trying some technique to rectify it. I'm down. That's it. That's all it is.

[Direction]

I can relate...only thought that comes to mind regarding the up sessions with your T - is to journal - if you aren't already.

I have trouble doing it, but it might help you to discuss how you were down and then went up. Maybe discussing the journal would be productive time with T when your up.

It takes the "is what it is" and explains it to T.

[Pughead]

Hmmm....I didn't think of that. I used to journal a lot, but only in the really depressed times. I guess I find myself not caring a whole lot lately, so that's why I don't journal maybe.

[ashty]

Journalling is really helpful - you can look back and keep track of the times when you were up and down, it also helps knowing that when you are down the whole world isn't *actually* caving in, it's just part of the cycle.

In terms of therapy, maybe it's an idea to discuss the things you can do when you're feeling the change of being up and down? noticing the signs and making sure you take care of yourself and all that stuff..

I know some people keep track of their moods in a chart, I've never tried it but I imagine seeing it on paper like that stops it from being something intangable.. you can view it objectively.

Hope I didn't just talk a load of rubbish then, haha.

Good luck with the therapy xoxo

[Pughead]

I did the mood charts for a couple months, and I could see some trends here and there, but overall, I didn't find it to be very effective. I just feel like I have to take it up the ***** and live with it.

Are you on meds? If so & they don't seem to be helping, talk to your pdoc. There are a lot of options now for bipolar.--Suzy

[Pughead]

Yes,

Effexor
Depakote
Wellbutrin
Buspar

Overall things are better than before medication, but still...I feel I will fail in the long run.