How many of y'all self medicated because of bipolar?

It's one of the biggest reasons that I drank and drugged for the past 30 years. It's so embarrassing and it just about ruined my life. I didn't start getting meds till 3.5 years ago, and it helped to decrease the need for adulterants. Usually, when my meds aren't working, I'm finding myself drinking more or I end up starting again.

I'm betting that most of us has self medicated at one time or another.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I haven't. But I have a built-in safety system, a fear of losing control. Obviously it happens, I am bipolar but I won't do anything that makes me feel that way on purpose. I think the last time I had alcohol beyond a sip of wine at Christmas (I used to try it and never like any of it; now wine is unsafe with my MAOI so I don't try it) was probably 16 or 17 years ago and that would just have been a wine cooler. Even then one was enough and I never had more than a very occasional one. Other drugs scare me just as much and I honestly wouldn't know how to go about getting them anyway.

(It also probably enters the equation that I went to a strict Christian college where drinking was grounds for expulsion and so there just wasn't that atmosphere when I was in the big "party" ages).

[jacky8807]

Good lord yes, mostly when I was younger. At about 15 my brain went off the rails, I felt like I was literally losing it. I thought I should be committed but because I was too embarrassed in a family that doesn't like to admit to vast generations of mental illness....I self medicated instead
Poor choice lol

[Edgar's Mom]

I think it's pretty common. It's natural for us to want to find some way to dull the anguish we often feel.

I don't drink or do drugs at all. I used to do both--drugs when much younger, and barely ever drank at all because I can become extremely unstable on alcohol and go crazy.

I tried drinking moderately for a couple of years and just found it was too dangerous.

Lately, my meds aren't working and I've been feeling horrible and the thought has crossed my mind as I've felt desperate. But that's not what I want at all and it wouldn't help. I know I would hate it so I would never bother. Alcohol is definitely not the right drug for me to treat my symptoms.

Doing any other drug and creating an addiction problem would just complicate an already difficult situation and cause more unnecessary problems.

But I do think it's quite common for people to try in their desperation, especially when not diagnosed or medicated.

[BlackSheep79]

I use to drink in the past, a little to ease the anxiety. I've actually been doing it the past two weeks cause the meds are making me feel like crap. Just don't care right now.

I self medicated but yet didn't know I had a mental illness. I just new that I was nutz!

[Unrigged64072835]

I drank quite a bit before I was diagnosed. My mother was a alcoholic, though, so I didn't want to go down the same path. I don't drink now because I have health issues, but I can say it's crossed my mind on a few occasions.

[LettinG0]

Never really been into self-medicating in the past ---- I do smoke cigarettes (like a chimney)....and when I was younger I would over-use RX drugs --- like something that made me sleepy.....but I never really abused anything.

Partied a little when I was young, but my Dad was an alcoholic and I knew I had that tendency so I stayed away from it...

However, over the last year and half (my world tilted sideways on its axis and it's been a hellish year or so)....I have found myself "wanting" to self-medicate somehow, some way. It is the weirdest experience. So far, I have avoided it because I know drinking is not something I need to do if I want my medications to work.

[raspberrytorte]

Oh yes. When I was in my early to mid twenties I self medicated with alcohol. I got pretty bad. At the end I was drinking all day, like I would wake up and take a couple shots of vodka. I was a huge bottle of vodka a day person. I got an OWI, got some help, got medicated, and then I was fine. Now I self medicate with cigarettes.

[Cocosurviving]

I don't self medicate myself. But I know two people that do. Someone that is close to me is, he's like family. He has BP2 and so does his mom. He's a truck driver and every weekend he's off he drinks. He drinks were he can barely stand up each day he's off. If he's off three or four days, he days each of those days. I have a cousin with schizophrenia. He drinks and takes pills. He use to be on crack real bad his clean up from that. But mostly drinks and smokes weed. He has a brother with schizoaffective disorder that smokes weed and takes pills.

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[nowIgetit]

I smoked a TON of weed in my twenties (like almost every day) and did some other "party drugs" occasionally for 3-4 years mid-twenties. I also went through phases of drinking quite a bit before I was dx. Not a lot in quantity, but frequently like 1-2 glasses of wine or drinks but I wanted them every day for weeks or months at a time, then I would not drink at all for a while. It's still one of my red flags that I may need a med adjustment or to change something lifestyle-wise, when I start feeling like I need a glass of wine at the end of the day, consistently. I never felt like any of those things were a problem because they came and went in phases, like I would really drink or smoke pot for a while and then wouldn't do it at all for a while (hmmmm, not symptomatic of bipolar at all lol), and I never felt like they interfered with my life but I knew it wasn't normal, and knew even then I was doing it to calm my anxiety. I haven't done any drugs in years now. I am hyper vigilant about self medicating now, my dad is an alcoholic and also does it to cope with anxiety so I watch for it.

I crave physical activity, including sexual, when I am hypo and manic. Being incredibly active outdoors - often risk taking - is my drug.

[DysphoricManicMom]

I used to drink in the evenings and sometimes during the day for anxiety but not very often. I knew i had a serious problem when id freak out on my oldest son for getting water on the floor during his baths when he was 3... I had a drink one time and i remember literally saying to myself..wow i need to have a drink like this more often bc it calmed me down, I never even considered i had a mood disorder, just that something wasnt right.

My sister, also bipolar and PTSD, is an alcoholic, started drinking when she was 13-14. She replaced whole meals with beer, do shots any time of day. She just got her 4th and 5th OVI at the end of the summer, she will be getting out of jail tmrw to go to rehab for the second time. She has been known to say "i self medicate" and she started saying that long before a diagnosis.

[lunaticfringe]

I have self medicated in pretty much every way possible. I currently smoke a lot of weed (only the finest), drink pretty regularly, smoke cigarettes, as well as eating large portions (what can I say I like food), overindulging in personal pleasure pursuits in general, binge-watching tv, I even medicate myself by running! Despite my somewhat unhealthy lifestyle I run two to three miles a day and it really helps me numb out in a way. Interesting topic thanks for posting

[Hashi/bipolar mom]

Oh lord yes! That's how I was finally diagnosed this year! I think most people with BP self medicate especially before they are diagnosed.

[Ndscisyv]

Absolutely. Not sure I can say it was definitely due to bipolar disorder only, but about 18 years of the 51 I've been alive have seen heavy alcohol and drug use, more drugs than alcohol. I never really liked the way alcohol made me feel, but I was very experimental when it came to drugs. I did manage to stop all of that 13 years ago though and now I'm back on the correct medications as well.

[coldwut]

I would sometimes take more pills than I needed too, which I think might have fallen under self-poisoning because sometimes I did that to avoid hurting myself in another way. Doing that also made me sleepy so at least I got sleep and felt numb.

I did it once or maybe more when I was a teen, but I started doing so more frequently during the summer and the begining of this school year. I stopped doing so fortunately.

I like drugs. And alcohol. And sex. And spending money. Anything a manic /bipolar enjoys. I have only been properly medicated for 3 yrs. so,I have been this way for a long time.

I try to be very, very careful. I walk a thin line.

I am medicated to hypomanic.

[Seaswept]

Yes, just now. Can't sleep. Well I was sleeping and then husband's loud sneeze woke me up so...now just cant go back to sleep! Took an Ativan with a vodka chaser...not doing much for me right now. I do have Ambien but it scares me to take...If I took it, I'd probably be the one sleep walking, naked, out to my car ta go who the hell knows where lol.

[scatterbrained04]

I drank a lot as a teenager. I went through 3 years of depression age 14-17. Then I went hypo but didn't drink nearly as often but would binge drink. Also drank quite a bit when I had the bad depressive episode right before I was diagnosed. I definitely only drink regularly when I'm in an episode, so it is an indicator that something is wrong.

[BastetsMuse]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

How many of y'all self medicated because of bipolar?

I'm betting that most of us has self medicated at one time or another.

Oh hell yeah.... but I was also self-medicating due to ADD too, as it turned out. I used alcohol, valium (stolen from my stepdad), and speed. And I worked and was promoted twice during this time period! Then I struggled without drugs for a few years, then went back to alcohol.... then to AA.

After being diagnosed bipolar and put on a mood stabilizer, I rarely get an urge for a drink (as in less than once a year).

[Woolly Bugger]

I did. I used to drink four or five large glasses of wine every night, for years. Sometime after being diagnosed with depression, I gave it up. I was sober for seven years. Then I became a little manic while overseas and decided, impulsively, to start drinking again. That was in 2001, after I had been diagnosed as bipolar. I haven't abused the alcohol since then, though, probably through self-awareness and the fact that I've been far more stable. I now drink one beer, occasionally two, on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.

[hopeless2015]

Yes I was just diagnosed this year and I'm struggling to stop drinking... It's all I've done every weekend for 20 years!!

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Hi! We did more than just alcohol even though we swam in it....

In our younger years, we had a death wish, and was going to go out doped up.

We got snowblind with mounds of cocaine that we lived off of for years. At first it did the trick, but then it would quit working which meant more. Eventually we needed more power....so we learned to rock it up and make base hits.

Shrooms, acid, XTC, opium...

Speed was another crazy big one that we did for years. We love to be up. About 5 years speeding, and it got to where I started making the stuff to supply me and my partners needs. Drug court stopped all that.

The past few years has just been alcohol with small adderoll binges, but that's all over with.

We had this black hungry hole that couldn't get enough. After 3 years, meds put a plug in it finally....who knew?

It's been a total of 5 years in 30 years since we started clean and sober, now it's been a week.

Yep. I was a total alcoholic, then stopped...then got addicted to pain pills...then stopped. Then got addicted to benzos. Stopped mostly but my shrink gives me a small amount every once in a while. He is aware of my history. My self medicating and being dishonest about my symptoms and drug use in the past made it so I was never properly diagnose until I went completely off the rails last year. Now I still smoke pot. Definitely self medicating, but the pot works better than everything else and it helps me stay away from the hard stuff. Some people call it the 'marijuana maintenance' program.