[CycloMary]

Do you feel hatred for people or things when you are irritable or in a mixed state?

I seem to have a lot of agitation & anger issues, at times.
Other times, I feel so full of love for life.

Do normal people get this?

[CopperStar]

I have both BP and some strong BPD tendencies.

So, to me severe anger/agitation and hatred are two different things, the former being more of a BP thing, and the latter being more of a BPD thing.

During dysphoric mania I can definitely become extremely agitated, but it's not personally directed at anything. Sounds that are too loud will piss me off. If the internet is running slow I will freak out. If someone is meeting me somewhere and is running 5 minutes late, I will start to boil over. But this agitation, as described, is just all over the place. And once a situation changes, my focus also changes. To me none of this is hatred, because I experience the feeling of hatred with BPD, and it is far more personal and obsessive than general BP agitation.

With BPD "hatred" or the "black" aspect of black/white thinking, if I'm not mindful enough in certain situations, I can wind up obsessively hating someone. I will basically have an urge to just destroy them (to put it honestly and bluntly) that will make me feel insane. Even when I am not being exposed to said-person, intrusive thoughts of them will haunt my mind constantly, and keep churning that hateful feeling.

[CycloMary]

Copperstar, I have both, as well.
What you said makes sense. I have a hard time distinguishing between which disorder is controlling my moods.
I try to control what I can with coping skills. Try to be self aware.
Yet, at times it seems one will spark the other...so to speak.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by CycloMary

Copperstar, I have both, as well.
What you said makes sense. I have a hard time distinguishing between which disorder is controlling my moods.
I try to control what I can with coping skills. Try to be self aware.
Yet, at times it seems one will spark the other...so to speak.

I feel you on that, for sure.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I too have both. BP2 and BPD. There are times (though I'd never say this) that I feel hatred for loved ones. Not because they've done anything wrong, just because. I get extreme irritability and I find it better to just keep to myself and keep my mouth shut because nothing nice will come of opening it!

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Risperdal 4mg
Trileptal 300mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 70mgs PRN

[Unrigged64072835]

I also have both. I get this way as well, though I try not to mention it to my family. My husband seems to know, however.

I'm just hateful, not to anyone and nothing in particular...just don't become the object of my focus. Pity the fool....

[wildflowerchild25]

I actually can tell an episode is coming when I start hating everything and everyone around me. It's indicative of a depression or dysphoric hypomania.

I become very irritable towards strangers in public. But only semi-irritating one that are moving slowly or indecisively. Pedistrians, cars on the road, the checkout lines, people who slow me down. With people I know, I am on edge.

My mind moves 5 times as fast as them.

[Cocosurviving]

This is me defiantly. I once got in a fight with a close family member. I was already in a mood and she said the wrong thing to me. Then I was admitted IP not long after mixed and fought security. They pissed me off too. I've at least got a handle on the fighting well I haven't had one since. At both times I felt like I hated them and wanted to punish them. I was so irritated and my family member wouldn't shut up. I was in a bad place mixed episode and I had sat in the waiting room for hours. When I finally got to the intake they told me to take out my piercings. I said "no thank you for your help" and got up to go. The security guy tells me I have to stay. I told him I guess you better get ready to make me!! He tried to hold me but four other officers were called in. I was so pissed and full of rage that day. I was fighting like hell...fighting grown men. I did have to stay but I also got to keep my piercings in. LOL

Sent from iPhone 6 Plus using Tapatalk

[Wanderlust90]

I get extremely irritated & agitated when experiencing dysphoric hypomania. Like you said copperstar, noise agitates me, people agitate me, bodily sensations agitate me. I start to get angry at everyone around me for not understanding how I feel, not understanding that I want to rip myself out of my own skin, escape into a dark quiet hole but also escape my own mind. I start to hate the world & to be brutally honest I want to hurt them. To make them feel how I do so that then someone might take me seriously.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by Wanderlust90

I get extremely irritated & agitated when experiencing dysphoric hypomania. Like you said copperstar, noise agitates me, people agitate me, bodily sensations agitate me. I start to get angry at everyone around me for not understanding how I feel, not understanding that I want to rip myself out of my own skin, escape into a dark quiet hole but also escape my own mind. I start to hate the world & to be brutally honest I want to hurt them. To make them feel how I do so that then someone might take me seriously.

I'm going to have to read up on this. I get the exact same way when I'm in a mood.

Ok I read. These describe my mania exact. Are their any meds that has helped dull this for you guys at all? This feeling is what's keeping me up and down lately.

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Risperdal 4mg
Trileptal 300mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 70mgs PRN

[CycloMary]

I get irritated & angry at having to clean my rabbits cage. I hate her, sometimes. Most of the time.
It sounds ridiculous.
I would get rid of her but I bought her for my daughter, impulsive BS.
I wish she would just die already.
That's horrible isn't it?

I can't control my hatred for this useless animal. She's all work & won't let us hold her. She's old now.
I can be fine & while I'm cleaning her cage, I get enraged.
That sounds so immature.

I love animals. I don't get it. Maybe, it's repressed resentment at myself for being foolish & getting her in the first place. A reminder of how my bad impulsive choices haunt me.

Ugh. Sorry. That's just one example of my anger issues.

Coco reminded me, I have been in several bar fights. But just verbal.

[Pastel Kitten]

Yes! I've recently swung back into hypomania and while it began with tons of positive energy, that energy quickly turned negative upon waking up. I was just so angry at every little thing, and even though I knew how ridiculous it all was, I couldn't stop! I was honestly throwing quite the tantrum. Not proud of it. Luckily, the irritation passed after an hour or two. I honestly think it had a lot to do with the insomnia from last night. I've been so restless this time around not sure if I'll sleep much tonight (morning) either.

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

Coco reminded me, I have been in several bar fights. But just verbal.

OMg I can't drink on this...it makes me in to the biggest B alive. I get triggered and all sorts of things come flying out.

For me there is a corelation between agitation and elation. When I swing up my need to experience as much as I can also increases. I am hypersensitive to these experiences. I also have great expectations for these experiences being positive. Hence I get irritated more frequently than when things don't live up to those expectations. In particular I am thus reactive to the behaviour of people. I expect so much and am then let down. My reaction is to get irked because what to me is so obvious wasn't to them.

[CycloMary]

Rcat,
Wow, that is exactly how I feel to the T.
How did you become so insightful & self aware? I wish I had that kind of wisdom.

Thank you for sharing.

I can drink but watch out if you f... with me in a bar. Mainly men that won't leave me alone. lol

[Cat_Lover_58]

Right now I have a busy-body co-worker who just will not mind her own business. I cannot get to work and so she's just busy arranging everything and telling my boss who can come get me, etc. (car finally died and I have NO ride)

I should be grateful but I'm quite capable of handling this for the most part. I'm hoping I hear from a job that I can walk to. (interviewed with them Saturday)

I guess this is my fault because I told her part of what was going on! Guess I can add her to the list of big mouths...

[Pastel Kitten]

Originally Posted by rcat

For me there is a corelation between agitation and elation. When I swing up my need to experience as much as I can also increases. I am hypersensitive to these experiences. I also have great expectations for these experiences being positive. Hence I get irritated more frequently than when things don't live up to those expectations. In particular I am thus reactive to the behaviour of people. I expect so much and am then let down. My reaction is to get irked because what to me is so obvious wasn't to them.

This is definitely true of me too! Explains why I cried over fireworks not lasting as long as I expected them to, on the 4th of July.