[scatterbrained04]

I feel like I'm going into another episode, similar to the bad one I had right before I saw a pdoc for the first time. I'm losing my appetite. I've lost about 5 lbs in 2 weeks. Anxiety is high and causing stomach issues. My thinking is distorted and my brain won't shut up. I'm irritable. I can feel depression lingering.

Oddly, I think Latuda may be trying to work. I feel real low but then later feel like maybe I'm coming back up. Feeling a bit like a yo-yo.

My energy is kind of up and down. More down than up though. I spent the past two Sundays on the couch staring at the wall. Lots of self-loathing. God, I hate myself! [Trigger] I'm getting the urge to self harm, and it's becoming difficult to resist [Trigger].

I'm growing concerned about how all this might effect my relationship with my boyfriend. He hasn't been through an episode with me, and I'm afraid he'll leave me if I let my symptoms show.

I hate being bipolar. I'm so done. Part of me wants to go off all of my meds.

[Teddy Bear]

I understand the yoyo part. What happens when you are off your meds? Try to explain what happens to you to your boyfriend.

[PumpkinPieHead]

Check back in and let us know how you are! x 20000000

[scatterbrained04]

Originally Posted by Teddy Bear

I understand the yoyo part. What happens when you are off your meds? Try to explain what happens to you to your boyfriend.

That's good advice. I think part of me is just scared to. We haven't been together very long. I guess though, if it scares him away then it wasn't meant to be I haven't honestly ever cared about anyone this much. Maybe that's why I'm freaking out. I did tell him things aren't great for me right now. He was very supportive and said he'd always be there for me. I'm so hoping this doesn't last long or get worse. I have an appointment with my pdoc Friday. I don't really want to mess with my meds. I feel like maybe I can work through this somehow.

[Pastel Kitten]

If your boyfriend is really as supportive as you say he is, I'm sure he will be supportive of you even during your episodes. Afterall, no one is one dimensional. Even neurotypical people have their ups and downs, although far less severe than ours. I agree with Teddy Bear that you should try your best to explain to him what happens to you, so he can prepare for it instead of it coming off as a total shock. Best of luck to you.