[scatterbrained04]

I hate myself so much. I'm terrible at everything I do. I screw it all up.

Possible trigger:

My 10yo son pretty much told me he doesn't wish to live. I'm sure it's because I'm a terrible parent. He pretty much told me this morning he doesn't think I care about him

I want to hurt myself. I'm having suicidal ideation for first time in at least year. A large part of me truly feels things would be better for everyone if I wasn't here.

I'm sorry for posting this.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

I hate myself so much. I'm terrible at everything I do. I screw it all up.

Possible trigger:

My 10yo son pretty much told me he doesn't wish to live. I'm sure it's because I'm a terrible parent. He pretty much told me this morning he doesn't think I care about him

I want to hurt myself. I'm having suicidal ideation for first time in at least year. A large part of me truly feels things would be better for everyone if I wasn't here.

I'm sorry for posting this.

I care about you. I think a lot of us have felt the way you do. But guess what? Bipolar cycles. This feeling won't last forever and your son needs you. I can understand how you feel because I'm struggling too. Let's stick around for each other.

Take care!

[Takeshi]

Don't be so sure. (Nothing's definte, or defined the way you think they are..)

I remember telling my mother that I wished I hadn't been born. I suppose lots of kids tell that sort of things to their parents. You're an adult in the room, and life comes with ups and downs, wish my mom told me what she considered as her life's purpose or something like it.

My younger self around that age was asking an existential questions and my mom wasn't up for it.

Let me just try to play a devil's advocate here, and tell you that your son may not need as much as you think he needs you. There's no life's manual for anyone on this planet, sure we care for the others, thinking that there's no way to live, for me, it's just dodging the responsibility of life. Depending on how well you live, no matter the struggles you may have will result in the flourishing of your caring heart. Consequences take responsible actions on our part, we are not a few things that we can list and say we are, I believe we are much more than that.

-------------

Well, I skimmed through your recent posts just now, you were on my mind that's why I'm here posting this, I have a choice not to make a family of my own, everybody's a screw up in one way or the other, nobody's screwing me, even myself, past screw-ups? Let's flush 'em down the toilet,

The situation changes us, the cause and the effect. Is life all that sciency?

Keep your chin up.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

One of the hardest things about being an aunt for me has been learning that when a kid wants to hurt you they are laser specific on the thing that will hurt the most. But they are kids and they don't mean it.

This is a hard week (for everyone, for people with bipolar and for kids) and it's hard to not get tangled up. But as others have said, this will pass.

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad.