[bbTofu]

Hello again,

I feel like I'm slowly (relatively) going down, don't feel exuberant and glowing most of the day like I was very recently and.. I can feel pain, something that I barely felt in the last months, I was frustrated and overwhelmed and exploding but I wasn't hurt, didn't feel hurt. Now I do. It frightens me.

And I wonder, and may you contribute your opinion/experience please.

How much the manic-episode behaviors affect the severity of the depression and making it progress faster to depression?
What I mean is when you get down from your LOONEY-TOUR and realize how crazy and stupid some of the stuff you did, does that have any serious consequence on the depressive-cycle?

[festidump]

For me it can have a huge effect. Sitting down and thinking of all the "stupid" things I did when manic can cause me to slump right down. I end up hating myself soooooo much and begin to make the issues bigger, convincing myself that no one will ever forgive me or love me again as I curl up further and further under the duvet....

It's easy to say "let go of the past" but what is done is done, forgive yourself, move on. Advice I'm trying to learn to accept myself!